[A] Funny Feminist

I'm Moving to Tumblr!

2011-05-06T22:21:00.002-04:00

I'm in the process of making a Tumblr blog (and a cup of tea). I think that I'll update that blog more often, since it's fast and easy to reblog something and/or comment on it. So, no, I'm not dead. I'll post the link when I'm done with it. Woo!

EDIT: Here's the link to my Tumblr. Enjoy!

In Defense of Jon Kyl

2011-04-11T21:59:00.004-04:00

The big news this past weekend was the looming government shutdown that never was. While defending these riders, which were basically ideologically driven strips of funding for seriously controversial things like school lunch and NPR*, Jon Kyl proclaimed that more than 90% of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion.

Everybody goes to clinics, to doctors, to hospitals, so on. Some people go to Planned Parenthood. But you don't have to go to Planned Parenthood to get your cholesterol or your blood pressure checked**. If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that's well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does.

Except not. If I wanted an abortion and walked into any of the 6 Planned Parenthoods in my area, they'd send me somewhere else. Which is why I personally wouldn't go to Planned Parenthood for an abortion. See, well over 90% -- a full 97% -- of what Planned Parenthood does is not abortion-related. Abortion accounts for 3%. Jon Kyl explained that his statements were "not meant to be factual."

I don't think Jon Kyl has to explain himself at all. It's SO HARD to find information in this information age of ours. I mean, how many spare seconds do you think Senator Kyl has to do the following:

1. Google "Planned Parenthood."

2. Click on the first link.

3. Click the "About Us" drop-down menu.

4. Click "Annual Report."

5. Click on the picture in the middle of the page.

6. Scroll down to page 6.

7. Admire the colorful pie chart showing the percentage of services that Planned Parenthood provides.

That was a workout. Cancel your gym memberships, people! Looking for facts is seriously sweat-inducing exercise.

* This is a list of the riders in lay terms and in an easy-to-read chart. Here is the full H.R. 1 bill.

** Unless you're poor and have no health insurance. It's a good thing Planned Parenthood provides these services.

So Not Funny, George Lopez!

2011-03-31T20:14:00.002-04:00

I get most of my feminist news from the mainstream feminist blogosphere, which likes to throw its trans news of the day in a little daily wrap-up, if at all. So I sincerely apologize for neglecting to get my feminist news from a place that's friendly to issues facing trans people. I will do better from now on. Being out of the loop in that regard is much worse than being out of the loop when it comes to Dancing with the Stars and Lopez Tonight. George Lopez is a guy that I never found funny. He probably doesn't think he's that funny either, since he tells transphobic jokes, the final resort in getting a cheap laugh. Last week, after the premiere of DWTS, he unleashed his fat hate and transmisogyny with this sorry excuse for a joke:

(At about 1:20) Finally my favorite male and female dancer of the season. Up first the male (he shows a clip of Wendy Williams' performance). It wasn't really her dancing that caught my attention, check this out. (he shows a clip of Wendy crying during dance practice). The last time she cried that hard was when she was on Maury and she heard Wendy Williams you are the father.

And then he called Kirstie Alley a pig, but he spared her her gender identity. George Lopez: A real revolutionary.

Alright, first of all, Wendy Williams is the bomb, okay? She's a Jersey girl, and she's really successful. She seems like a down-to-Earth woman, and she's one of three people I sort of pseudo-stalk when I hang out in Montclair (the other two are Stephen Colbert and baseball legend Yogi Berra). Most importantly, this "joke" doesn't hurt Wendy as much as it hurts trans women, particularly trans women of color, which make up about 100% of the trans people who are murdered each year. People have to learn that insulting someone by calling them trans isn't funny and leads to violence. It's a way of delegitimizing someone's being. And it needs to end like forever ago.

Not that you ever were funny to begin with. But, George Lopez, this is so not funny!

How Exactly Does God Punish a "Fag Enabler?"

2011-03-24T13:46:00.004-04:00

That's "Your Majesty Fag Enabler" to you, Westboro Baptist Church.

Elizabeth Taylor died yesterday of congestive heart failure. She is, of course, most well-known for her acting career and for being an anti-AIDS activist. But seriously, who's against AIDS? The Westboro Baptist Church! So they're planning on protesting Ms. Taylor's funeral. They're famous for being utterly insane and protesting outside of the funerals of fallen soldiers, claiming that those deaths are God's punishment for America's tolerance of gay people. What tolerance? Exactly. Clearly, Westboro Baptist Church believes that Elizabeth Taylor has been punished by God for supporting anti-AIDS initiatives. How so? Let me list the ways:

1. A successful acting career spanning 7 decades.

2. Five Academy Award nominations and 2 Best Actress Oscars.

3. The most beautiful violet eyes that anyone has ever or would ever see.

4. Four children, 10 grandchildren, and 4 great-grandchildren.

5. Legions of devoted fans that loved her until her death at age 79.

6. Seventy-nine years of living!

Yes, you'd think if God hated her so much for funding AIDS research, he would've snuffed her out a long time ago. But no. 79 years. Millions of dollars. Big family. 2 Oscars. Beauty. When will God punish ME???

Urge Senator Paul to Introduce the Protect Consumers from Electricity and Plumbing Act.

2011-03-11T20:35:00.006-05:00

In a Senate meeting with the Energy Department regarding companies providing energy-efficient appliances to consumers, Senator Rand Paul (R-KY) had this brilliant nugget to bestow on the congregation:

"I think there should be self-examination from the administration on the idea that you favor a woman's right to an abortion but you don't favor a woman, or a man's, right to choose what kind of light bulb, what kind of dishwasher."

Mr. Paul! I resent the fact that you believe pro-choicers like myself haven't thought about such pressing issues, like buying light bulbs and dishwashers. That's why I have proposed the following legislation that I hope Congressional Republicans will introduce very soon. Jobs can wait. Choosing appliances can have life-long ramifications. In fact, I think something like 84% of people regret purchasing energy-efficient products. because they hate saving money and the environment. I thank you in advance for your consideration in this ground-breaking, life-saving legislation.

We all know that purchasing appliances is a difficult decision. There's that hop on the freeway, walking through the parking lot, waiting for some salesperson to help you. And, of course, those salespeople are going to murder your freedoms and push some "Energy Star" product on you.

So, before someone buys an appliance, consumers must listen to a detailed description of the appliance. They must also point out all of the simple and complex machines and parts that make up the appliance. Then, they must go to a special Crisis Electricity and Plumbing Center and be counseled by anti-electricity counselors against buying the appliance. After that, consumers must wait at least 24 hours before purchasing the appliance. Or longer, if they need it. And if they're still convinced to buy the appliance of their choosing, they must walk through dozens of anti-electricity protesters holding signs and calling consumers murderous whores. "Use your finger nails to scrub out caked-on food, like REAL AMERICANS!!!" "Light bulbs MURDER candles!!!" Surely no one would buy an appliance after enduring all of that, but the truly terrible among us do.

But what about those appliance consumers who regret their decision to buy appliances? They can go back to the Crisis Electricity and Plumbing Center and get post-appliance-buying counseling for their Post-Appliance Syndrome, the terrible mental and spiritual disease caused by buying appliances. What? You've heard that Post-Appliance Syndrome doesn't exist? That's what those terrible science-y people want you to think! It's all lies. Beware of Post-Appliance Syndrome.

Prevent it with the Protect Consumers from Appliances and Plumbing Act.

EXCLUSIVE: Interview with an Embryo

2011-03-02T18:33:00.003-05:00

Big news, people. An actual 9-week old embryo will "testify" in an Ohio court during hearings for a bill that would ban all abortions after a heartbeat can be detected.

“For the first time in a committee hearing, legislators will be able to see and hear the beating heart of a baby in the womb–just like the ones the Heartbeat Bill will protect,” said Janet (Folger) Porter, President of Faith2Action, and former Legislative Director of Ohio Right to Life, where she helped pass the nation’s first ban on Partial Birth Abortion.

Two in-utero babies will appear live before the committee by an ultrasound projector which is able to not only show that baby’s moving arms and legs, but also display–in color–the baby’s beating heart. “When passed, the Heartbeat Bill will insure that once that heartbeat is detected, the baby is protected,” added Porter.

Pretty big scoop, right? WRONG! Only I have the exclusive interview with an 8-week old embryo. And yes, I got permission from the pregnant lady that the embryo is inside of. Don't know if I can say the same for Ms. Porter.

Me: Hey, embryo. How's it going.

Embryo: Meh. Mommy threw up like 5 times today. Sometimes I understand how much physical pain I cause her, but that's my food too that she's puking.

Me: Yeah, it's hard out there for an embryo.

Embryo: You mean IN there.

Me: Sure. I wanted to ask you about this Heartbeat Bill in Ohio.

Embryo: Huh?

Me: You know, the one that could ban abortion once a heartbeat of the embryo is detected.

Embryo: Didn't hear about that one. Does it matter that the pregnant woman has a heartbeat?

Me: No, her heartbeat doesn't matter. She'd be forced to continue the pregnancy and give birth.

Embryo: It kind of seems unfair that my heartbeat counts so much more than my mother's.

Me: Tell me more.

Embryo: I mean, if the people for this Heartbeat Bill would treat my mommy like that, you know, give her no significance at all, how would they treat me once I'm born?

Me: I have some experience being outside the womb, and anti-choicers don't treat women very nicely. They call them sluts and whores and put guilt trips on them when they're raped. And they don't just hate pregnant women. They hate women who choose not to get pregnant or can't get pregnant, whether they're straight, lesbian, or transgender. What do you think about that?

Embryo: That's a terrible world. I don't know what kind of person I'd be. But it seems like I have a great chance of becoming the kind of person that these pro-lifers would care about at all. They seem to like me now, but once I'm born, they'd rather me be dead, unless I become their perfect vision of a person.

Me: Is that possible?

Embryo: My mommy's an Atheist. And my daddy's a gay sperm donor majoring in Africana Studies.

[We laugh -- hard]

Embryo: Seriously, though. I thought it was hard being an embryo. It's a lot harder to be a person, especially if you're not male, cis, Christian, heterosexual, White, able-bodied, and rich.

Me: Would you rather be aborted?

Embryo: That's all up to my intelligent, responsible, autonomous mommy.

Please Welcome the New Republican Congressman from South Dakota

2011-02-20T23:35:00.004-05:00

It's Borat! He ran a really great campaign, going door to door talking about his policies. When explaining the role women should play in society, Borat claims the social order should be "God, man, horse, dog, then woman." Of course, he ran as a Republican. God and men are pretty much all they care about, except if they're poor, non-Christian, or part of the TLGB community. Plus, at least as far as access to birth control goes, horses have more of a right to it than women. The only state where poor old Borat would even stand a chance is South Dakota. They subjugate women to the status of baby-making slave more than any other state. In fact, they tried twice to push abortion bans in the state, while still allowing people to shoot someone to death for steal or vandalize their property. I'm sure Borat thinks your wheel barrow lands somewhere before women on his social ladder. And now that South Dakota is considering a law that could justify the murder of abortion doctors, perhaps Borat would fit right in this state that has reckless disregard for everyone but zygotes. Congratulations on your win, Borat! I'm sure you'll do great work!

Kristen Schaal on Redefining Rape Law

2011-02-04T09:31:00.003-05:00

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Rape Victim Abortion Funding

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show Full Episodes

Political Humor & Satire Blog</a>

The Daily Show on Facebook

If you follow me on Twitter, you would have noticed that I've spent the better part of a week tweeting about the "No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act," a law that seeks to deny abortion rights to any woman with a health insurance policy in which any amount of the premiums can be written off on a tax return, unless that woman can pay for the procedure out of pocket. Right now, the vast majority of health insurance policies cover abortion, and a percentage of those premiums can be written off by the individual or business who purchases the policy. House Republicans and conservative Democrats who have signed on to this bill equate the tax write-off with abortion being federally subsidized. Of course, tax breaks for the wealthy aren't considered federal spending, but tax breaks for Americans with health insurance that covers abortion is. Basically, this law further screws over low and middle income women who wish to use the perfectly legal medical service called abortion. Essentially, such women must pay a tax on their policy (in that their policy is taxable income), even if they never have an abortion. The law would also deny abortion coverage on any private policy that is included in the health insurance exchanges in the new healthcare law.

Most egregious of all, the law also redefined rape as "forcible rape." The qualifier "forcible" implied that some rape isn't forced, but merely coerced or maybe implied. Women who were unconscious, drugged, or mentally handicapped were excluded from the definition. The language was then taken out, thanks to Sady Doyle's #DearJohn campaign on Twitter and the above video from The Daily Show. The combination of anger and satire woke the anti-choice morons who cosigned this disgusting bill to the fact that ALL rape is forcible. Duh.

Although it's nice that they stripped the word "forcible" from the bill, this bill is still terrible and needs to be defeated. This law will deny millions of women abortion coverage. Incest is also redefined, in that it excludes women who became pregnant by a family member after they turned 18. It allows the government to interfere in personal decisions and private business, and it increases taxes. The new Republican party, everyone!

So Not Funny, Saturday Night Live!

2011-01-31T20:38:00.002-05:00

I could stop with just that title and follow with a randomly selected clip, since Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny in about 15 years. But not only is this skit not funny, it's downright offensive. It's a mock commercial for hormone replacement therapy aimed at M to F transgender people. It shows several of the male cast members in varying stages of transition. The punch line is basically, "Get it? Trans women! Ha-ha!" I guess cissexist knuckle draggers find this hilarious, but mocking the experience of trans women is not a joke. Looks like NBC might have new ownership, but it has the same tired transphobic stereotypes that pretty much every other comedy has.

GLAAD has a petition that you can sign, demanding that NBC apologize for this disgusting sketch and remove it from future airings.

Blog for Choice: Am I Concerned About Choice in 2011?

2011-01-21T14:04:00.007-05:00

Despite my home state electing a governor who didn't quite campaign on defunding Planned Parenthood (although, I knew that just from looking at his campaign website for 3 seconds), but did exactly that like on Day One, I think we New Jerseyans can fist-pump our way out of this. Having a pro-choice legislature really helps, and they are currently working their damnedest to override Chris Christie's veto of funding women's healthcare. I think New Jersey realizes that defunding Planned Parenthood doesn't do anything but drastically reduce the capacity with which healthcare professionals can serve jobless, impoverished, and working poor women. That's because only 3 Planned Parenthoods out of 29 in New Jersey actually provide abortion services in their facilities (which didn't stop conservative websites from proclaiming "Chris Christie closes abortion clinics!" Really, just Google "Chris Christie defunding Planned Parenthood"). The rest provide preventative care. Defunding them defunds thousands of women's only access to affordable treatment. Pro-life indeed.

To answer the question posed by NARAL Pro-Choice America on this 38th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, yes, I am concerned about choice in 2011, because attacking reproductive freedom goes FAR beyond controlling women's reproductive capacities. It also controls where poor women get their primary healthcare. It is unfathomable that a so-called pro-life governor (one with "Christ" in both his first and last name, at that!), legislature, or constituency would sacrifice the basic healthcare of thousands of women to not even prevent a single abortion. Then again, misogyny tends to cloud judgment, so it's not all that unbelievable.

Another extremely deadly consequence of restricting abortion access is evidenced in the recent indictment of "Doctor" Gosnell, who performed countless illegal late-term abortions on mostly poor immigrant women in a filthy clinic. And when I say "illegal," I mean pretty much every thing that took place in his facility was illegal. Consider this.

1. Mr. Gosnell isn't an OB/GYN, so he should not have been performing any abortions at all.

2. Abortion after 23 weeks is illegal in Pennsylvania.

3. Mr. Gosnell induced birth of live infants and split their spinal cords with scissors, which is no more an abortion than if someone did that to me.

4. Like I said before, his clinic was unsanitary, with cat urine, body parts, and dirty medical tools scattered all over the place.

Basically, Mr. Gosnell performs back alley abortions, the kind that caused the deaths and serious injuries of countless women in pre-Roe days. And as you saw in my last post, people can't set aside their woman-hate for a second to consider that maybe women dying isn't a good thing. In fact, some were downright gleeful. The deaths of the woman and infants that Mr. Gosnell have been charged with (and any others we don't know about) make me wonder if this would have been allowed in a society that a) respected poor women, b) respected immigrants, and c) respected pregnant women, and trusted the decisions of such women to the point where the only restriction to a woman's access to a late-term abortion was her own judgment. Instead, we live in a society that restricts abortion based on socioeconomic status and gestation of the fetus, even if the woman's health is at risk or if the fetus is dead inside of her. Certainly, the women's health was at risk the second they entered Mr. Gosnell's clinic. Perhaps if they had somewhere else to go, they would have. There's a reason pro-choicers want abortion to be safe and legal. Again, I'm concerned about choice in 2011, since if anti-choicers have their way, we'll have over a million women seeking abortions from greedy predators like Gosnell.

WTF: Anti-Choice Deraliers

2011-01-21T00:09:00.004-05:00

I usually read the comments on abortion blog posts in safe places, like those that mostly pro-choicers frequent, to spare myself from the idiotic anti-woman rhetoric espoused by anti-choicers. But there are just some really strange reactions to really no-brainer situations, such as the recent indictment of an illegal late-term abortion provider in Pennsylvania. The reports about the incident are horrific (I'll talk more about it tomorrow in my Blog for Choice post). In short, the "doctor" performed illegal late-term abortions on mostly poor immigrant women. He is charged with 7 murders of babies that he delivered alive and then severed their spinal cords with scissors, and one murder of a woman who overdosed on painkillers while waiting to have an abortion. I read some of the comments left in this Care2 post about it, and they just blew my mind.

The people that went to the clinic for late term abortions agreeing to have this done should be charged with murder. If you are six, seven or eight months along and change your mind about having a baby, you need to stick it out and give the baby up for adoption. Killing it to avoid the inconvenience of carrying it for another month or two should not be an option. The women that died doing this deserved it.

Pro-life, indeed! Isn't it great when a poor pregnant immigrant woman who is probably uneducated and doesn't speak English gets painkillers shoved down her throat to the point where she dies? That'll show that whore! I'm sure glad that my mother didn't abort me, or else I'd never be able to pass judgment on women so desperate to end their pregnancies that they'd get a back alley abortion. It's the best part of living.

Late term abortion is murder. Period. I am very liberal but i have absolutely NO pity for a woman who would allow her infant to be slaughtered. Infanticide should never ever ever be legal and i think the women who died getting an abortion at 8 months deserved what they got. There is ALWAYS another option. And even if they felt there wasn't, what's to stop them having an abortion at 8 wks or 12 wks before their child IS A VIABLE INFANT WHO HAS MORE OF A RIGHT TO LIVE than its mother.

Did you know that? Did you know that viable fetuses have more of a right to live than the pregnant women they're inside of? I didn't know that, but someone on the Internet screamed it at me in ALL CAPS, so it must be true. Yes, the only thing this person is "very liberal" with is their use of misogynistic rhetoric.

To save the mother's life a late term abortion I can understand, I don't understand waiting up to the very end to decide on abortion if the women is not at risk. One would imagine this guy could make more money being a baby broker for parents wanting to adopt a black market baby, and split the cost with the birth mother.

What? What??? Seriously, this lady has to be fucking shitting me. Who reacts to a story about women and infants dying from an unlicensed abortion provider performing illegal abortions, that aren't even performed by licensed providers, with such nonsense? What this person is basically saying, without realizing it because she's too busy demonizing pregnant poor women of color, is that these babies could have been even more money in the bank for a sex trafficker or slave trader, and everyone would be better off that way. Financially speaking. And she would understand that better than poor women seeking later-term abortions in a country where they're illegal. Seriously. What the fuck. Selling babies to pedophiles -- good. Late-term abortions -- very, very bad, according to this lady.

I shouldn't say that only anti-choicers totally derailed that conversation. The vast majority of the comments I saw didn't mention the "doctor" that was indicted and used the comments section as a forum to debate whether or not abortion is a moral choice, the personhood of fetuses, and the reasonableness of late-term abortion. Of course, the proper reaction would have been to hope for justice for the women and babies who were allegedly murdered by this guy, no matter what your stance on abortion. But anti-choicers simply cannot get past their deeply held hatred of women to even respond appropriately to these murders. Their first instinct when they see an article about women dying from an illegal abortion is to blame the women first.

Anonymous Misogynist Strikes Again!

2011-01-14T22:05:00.004-05:00

With each passing day, it becomes funnier and funnier when somebody tries to post a comment on the old blog, since no one has updated it in more than two years. This guy, who, in all fairness, identified himself as Ralph and did not remain anonymous, really wants to let me know that it just pains him to be a sexist douche, but he just can't help it.

Well I love my girlfriend and I WANT to treat women as equals, but nature built us different.

Translation: It's not MY fault that I'm a sexist douche. I'm just built that way. Blame MOTHER nature. SHE made me this way.

Women are good at somethings, and men at some things. End of the day a man is just built stronger and better at engineering/math/innovation, women better at history and literature and innovation always pays more.

And stereotypes about abilities based in gender have nothing -- NOTHING -- to do with what the jobs that require those abilities pay. Nothing at all. It's just a coincidence that men are believed to be better at innovation in math and engineering and those careers pay more than innovation in fields that women dominate. Big coincidence.

So you could say, women are getting as much as they are capable off. Their limitations created these issues in the first place.

Is this guy deliberately misspelling things to prove his point that men such at expressing language? And did he just blame his sexism on mother nature while blaming women for "their limitations" that are supposedly gifts from mother nature? Yes, and yes.

They're better at emotions than men though.

What does this mean? Seriously, what does it mean to be "better at emotions?" Emotions are things that everyone has, and they are automatic responses. It's not something someone is good or bad at, or is that the point he's making.

I'm an engineer myself, the few women engineers there are in my workplace, are really not upto the mark. Sometimes even when they work 4 times as hard as a male, their output quality is much lower.

Four times? And this is quantifiable how? And this guy, being the Grand Hucken Muckus of All Engineers, can make such judgments. Because he's a big smart man. Asshole.

Michelle Malkin Warns of Retaliation by Bow and Arrow Wielding Liberals

2011-01-08T20:09:00.004-05:00

This morning in Tucson, Arizona, Democratic United States Representative Gabrielle Giffords was shot in the head from point blank range at an outdoor town hall type of event in her district. Early reports stated that she was murdered, but thankfully, she is recovering from emergency surgery. However, Federal Judge John Roll, a 9-year-old girl, and 4 other people were shot to death (click here for news results). Representative Giffords was one of 20 Congresspeople targeted with crosshairs on this infamous map from SarahPAC, Sarah Palin's political action committee, in response to their votes to support healthcare reform.

A day or two after Ms. Palin posted that image on her Facebook page, Rep. Giffords' office was vandalized. She talked about the crosshairs placed on her district in light of the vandalism:

We really need to realize, the rhetoric and firing people up, and even things, for example, we're on Sarah Palin's 'targeted list.' But the thing is, the way she has it depicted has the crosshairs of a gunsight over our district. And when people do that, they've got to realize there's consequences to that action.

It's really a sad day for Tucson, Arizona, and the United States. In attempt to make us all laugh in light of this tragedy, right wing media darling Michelle Malkin tried to point the finger at liberals for being equally violent, or at least violent-minded. Her first example: Comments made by a regular person who blogs on Daily Kos. She posted a screen shot of a post entitled My CongressWOMAN Voted Against Nancy Pelosi! And is Now DEAD to Me!, which is a rant against the Congresswoman by someone who raised money and donated to her campaign and was disappointed by her decision not to vote for Pelosi for Minority Leader. That user has since deleted the post and stated the following:

i now am FULL of guilt after writing this diary.

I kind of feel bad that this person feels guilty about what they said, especially when this person isn't and never was an elected official, prevalent voice in any national political movement, or potential presidential candidate. But even they can own up to something unsavory that they said about a Congresswoman. Daily Kos founder Markos Moulitsas used the term "bulls eye" in the following quote in a post he authored over 2 years ago about FISA (and as we know, nobody vandalized Rep. Giffords' office -- or anyone else's -- within 48 hours -- or 30 months -- of that vote):

Not all of these people will get or even deserve primaries, but this vote certainly puts a bulls eye on their district. If we can field enough serious challengers, and if we repeat the Donna Edwards and Joe Lieberman stories a few more times, well then, our elected officials might have no choice but to be more responsive. Because if we show them that their AT&T lobbyist buddies can't save their jobs, they'll pay more attention to those who can.

Any reasonable individual reading this quote wouldn't seriously believe that Mr. Moulitsas is suggesting that Rep. Giffords, or the other 100+ Democrats on that list, be targeted for violence. He's talking about voting lukewarm Democrats out of office, and specifically states that he doesn't support saving their JOBS, whereas the crosshairs picture makes no mention of voting people out, and depicts blood red crosshairs to symbolize Representatives whose political careers are over (you might say "dead").

Lastly, Ms. Malkin compares the crosshairs image to one used by the Democratic Leadership Council in 2004.

And, with my powerful ability to remember the past 6 years, not a single conservative elected government official from any of those states was a target of violence by radicals, liberal or otherwise. Furthermore, nobody was mentioned by name in that map, unlike in Sarah Palin's crosshairs map. However, Michelle Malkin believes that those targets somehow advocated or still advocate violence against conservative office holders in America, even though Barack Obama won 7 out of 9 of those states in 2008 (without a single progressive shooting a single congressperson! We're either really great terrorists, or the threat doesn't exist).

I find such comparisons to be disingenuous and hilariously absurd. The target used in the DLC map is one that people shoot arrows at. Crosshairs aren't targets. Crosshairs are used to get a kill shot on a specific target. What does Malkin think? Bow and arrow toting progressives are going to shoot conservatives? We're going to advocate a constitutional amendment to our right to bear bows and arrows? Are we going to petition governments to open carry our bows and arrows at political events? Are we going to support measures that allow us to carry a concealed bow and arrow without a permit (Good luck with that, liberals! Bows and arrows are bulky!)? Why does she think the Native Americans lost? Because bows and arrows are no match for guns!

Shorter Allstate: We'll Pay for Your Negligence

2011-01-06T21:52:00.004-05:00

Particularly if some woman dares to look good while running past your car.

BTW, this is my 350th post!

Age-Appropriate Sex Ed: A Comparison

2011-01-06T09:40:00.005-05:00

Remember this advertisement during the presidential campaign in 2008? John McCain attacked Barack Obama's stance on age-appropriate sex education for all children, including Kindergartners.

Basically, Barack Obama supports age-appropriate sex-ed. In Kindergarten, that's teaching young children "good touch/bad touch" and ways that kids can protect themselves from pedophiles, like not talking to strangers, not going into a car of anyone they don't know, and telling a trusted adult if they've been touched inappropriately. It turned out that the bill wasn't even passed during Obama's time in the Illinois State Senate, and he wasn't even a co-sponsor, so it blew over and Barack Obama won the election.

Let's fast forward to 2011. Kind of a lot has changed in less than 3 years, but there haven't been such radical changes taking place from where conservatives have kittens over someone somewhere suggesting that 5-year-olds know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching to where talking to those same kids about abortion is a-OK. But apparently it has, in this second wind of hippie free love, I guess.

Congressman Steve King (R-IA) admitted that he talks to children of all grade levels, including Kindergartners, about abortion. He said:

I often go into a high school auditorium or meet with people at even the K-through-12 level in their entirety, and I will tell them: “You will be asked to answer one of the most profound moral questions of our age and that is where do you stand on the abortion issue. And you need to only ask and answer two questions. The first question is do you believe that human life is sacred in all of its forms. Is the person sitting to your left and to your right and everyone in this room, is their life sacred?” And they’ll nod their heads.

Yes, which would mean they're pro-choice. Anti-choicers certainly don't see the life of the pregnant woman as sacred, since they see her death in childbirth or suicide as no great loss to humanity. Needless to say, that's not age-appropriate. It's also a stupid argument to make, and it's why I hate it when men and self-righteous teens are asked about this very profound moral question. Men in particular can have a really nice philosophical debate about abortion, because they don't experience abortion in the slightest, and they never will. Men might like to think that they experience it in the same way that women do, but that's because they're really stupid assholes who believe their superior man-brains and powerful imaginations can make them feel that way. The point is, the only person who can answer that question honestly is the woman experiencing the pregnancy and making the decision herself. It's really easy to say "I believe all life is sacred," or even, "Abortion is a morally acceptable decision all the time," and all of that philosophy flies out the window once she sees a plus sign on the pregnancy test. Oops. So to even pose that question to students who are too young to experience pregnancy or make a moral judgment is totally age-inappropriate and a bit brain-washy.

Spanky Would Have Called It the "She-Male Palin-Hating Club"

2010-12-24T20:10:00.004-05:00

Some pastor from Florida named Doug Giles made a video stating why it is feminists don't like Sarah Palin. It's not because she wants government to be about as big as the distance between one's ovaries and vaginal opening. And it's not because she is as dumb as a pair of dookie stained granny panties. It's because we're all a bunch of "she-males" who are jealous of her looks. In case you haven't heard that before, I've posted the video. Additionally, I will henceforth be referring to Pastor Giles as Spanky, because he is a childish little rascal. Seriously, Spanky. I'd like to welcome you to the year 2010. Feminists have been hearing this bullshit since before Sarah Palin's father shot her out of his nutsack.

And because I like correcting people so much, I'd like to let Spanky know that Sarah Palin did consider having an abortion when she was pregnant with Trig. Luckily, she lives in a country where she had the choice to have all 5 of her children, instead of being forced into motherhood by a so-called small government. Spanky chooses to believe the lie, or else she wouldn't be his proper definition of a woman. And that would make his ass hurt.

And lastly but not leastly, this video is filled with disgusting transphobic hate speech. Simple proof that trans people are always seen as a simple scapegoat for assholes. If Spanky was truly confident in his beliefs, he wouldn't be threatened by metrosexuals or Chaz Bono or trans women or anybody else who doesn't fit the strict gender binary that he worships every day. It's old fucking news, and I believe, as a wise young woman once said, has been around since way before Sarah Palin's father shot her out of his nutsack. I have a feeling this man sleeps with one eye open and both hands holding his dick for dear life. It's pitiful.

Sarah Palin Tells Some Knock Knock Jokes

2010-12-23T18:49:00.003-05:00

I made a video of Sarah Palin telling knock knock jokes on Larry King Live using Xtranormal. I would have embedded it, but the code doesn't work, so just follow the link. It's my holiday gift to you. Hope you enjoy!

You Tell Those Rape Victims, Blag Hag

2010-12-21T18:23:00.004-05:00

Blag Hag had the following to say about women complainants of rape in a blog post titled This Needed to be Said About Rape Allegations

This is just one of the many reasons why I think it's so important to get more women to be skeptical thinkers. Questioning does not make us a "tool of the patriarchy" - questioning is empowering.

You tell 'em, Blag Hag. Those dirty rape victims are so needy, aren't they? Needy of our attention. Needy of our trust. Needy of justice. Fuck them, preferably without their consent. I agree with her on one thing. Questioning the veracity of a rape victim's claim is empowering, sort of like jumping a Kindergartner on the playground and stealing her prescription shoes during your lunch break.

Victims of sexual assault are already at the mercy of bystanders, family, police, the justice system, and society at large if they ever want to get their lives back. The people who they need to confide in are in a position of privilege. Without their trust, rape victims are victimized again and again, until they give up on fighting and join the patriarchy lock-step or commit suicide. So it's really big of Blag Hag and other rape apologists to be skeptical, isn't it? It's so much easier to do nothing than to show a shred of humanity and at least pretend to give a shit. This isn't being skeptical about global warming or the existence of God. We're talking about women and children all over the world who are already vulnerable, because they are in a position in society in which they are not to be believed.

My Favorite Thing That I Missed

2010-12-19T19:32:00.004-05:00

I missed blogging about the midterm elections, which means I missed so much: Sharon Angle, Christine O'Donnell, Marco Rubio, Carl Paladino, and the other right-wing nutjobs who ran for election in 2010. But my favorite part of the midterms was this ad from SarahPAC, Sarah Palin's political action committee that supports ultra conservative candidates (read: right-wing nutjobs). It's not so much a commercial for Sarah Palin's buddies as it is a look inside what Sarah Palin sees when she's tripping on X. While watching it, see if you can count to two Mississippis before another image pops onto the screen. It's a fun game.

Feminist to the Rescue is Back!

2010-12-19T02:17:00.004-05:00

A few weeks ago, the awesome feminist woman with whom I shared a blog a few years ago, started a new blog, Feminist to the Rescue! It's very exciting indeed, and I encourage everybody to check out the commentary, funny, and feminist superhero art. Yay!

Has It Been Three and a Half Months Already?

2010-12-18T22:06:00.004-05:00

Finally, my apprenticeship teaching experience is over and I can finally blog again. Hooray! It was a serious doozy. The kids were cute, but they drove me crazy (as kids tend to do), and several of the teachers with whom I interacted were truly unpleasant. At times, they were downright hateful.

One of the teachers, who was actually an effective teacher and classroom manager, was a classhole, a word I just made up which means "classist asshole." Every time she came into the classroom for a team meeting or for lunch, she would ask who sat in a seat. If the child lived in the trailer park, she'd go, "Ew" and move to the seat of a student she deemed acceptable. On another occasion, she came into the classroom (thankfully while the children were out of the room in one of their special classes) and made fun of the size of the head of one of my students. Less than a week before that, I ripped a third grader a new one for making fun of the same girl because of her looks. I can't even tell you what that third grader looks like, because he was hanging his head in shame the entire time I scolded him. Needless to say, I don't think he'll be making fun of any kids any time soon, at least not in the hallway next to the faculty bathroom. I just think it's amazing how a grown woman with children who is an experienced teacher could be so cruel. I wish I were in a position where I could tell her the same thing I told that third grader.

The worst part of both of these people making fun of this girl is that I'm pretty sure this girl is developmentally delayed. I wouldn't expect a third grader to know some of the physical and emotional signs of an uncategorized developmental delay, but a teacher should. This poor girl reminded me a lot of the mothers at my job whose children were taken away from them, because they will never be developmentally capable of taking care of kids. They are women who are mentally around the age of 10 and were either taken advantage of by jerky men or had kids with guys who were just as developmentally delayed or mentally ill. I have a strong feeling that her delays will become more apparent as she gets older. Of course, teachers shouldn't make fun of kids anyway, whether it's in front of the kid or behind the kid's back. But to talk like that about a kid who is most likely developmentally delayed, that's just plain wrong. I suppose she could be called an ablebitch, a word I just made up which means "ableist bitch." I usually object to that word, but not this time.

Anywho, now that I'm done with student teaching, I should be updating much more frequently. There were a couple of things that I missed that I would like to post about over the next couple days or so. I'm happy to get back into blogging after this long hiatus. Whoo-hoo!

Hi-larious Hiatus

2010-10-04T18:20:00.003-04:00

Okay, so I haven't posted anything in a couple of weeks. That's a while. I've been really busy with student teaching, so I'm going to go on a hiatus until the winter, when student teaching is over. For now, you can catch me on Twitter, which takes a lot less time to post stuff. Plus, I can do it from my iPod Touch. So you'll still get your funny feminist nuggets every day. I'll be back before you know it!

Linda McMahon's BFF Believes Linda McMahon Would Be a BSF

2010-09-13T20:33:00.004-04:00

BSF. That's Best Senator Forever! Totes cute, right?

Come on. I bet my best friends would tell me I'd make a great Senator. I think they might have. But I'm not gonna take them up on it. Sorry! I'm all for women running for public office, of course. But I think women politicians need to make sure that they're really taken seriously. You can't even put your best friend down as a reference on an application to work at Taco Bell. So why would you do it in a campaign ad? It reads too much as a human interest story and not enough as a serious attempt to garner my support. Well, not my support, since I don't live in Connecticut. I'm not quite sure why I even see any of Linda McMahon's ads, to be honest with you.

Not only am I not from Connecticut, I'm not a Republican. Not by a long shot. These sorts of fluffy political ads don't make me like a candidate. I want to know where somebody stands on important issues that affect me and the people I care about. Maybe conservatives prefer a woman politician who doesn't cross the line of proper feminine gender expectations.

Take Action Monday

2010-09-06T18:06:00.004-04:00

Today is Labor Day. If you are lucky, you either had the day off or got paid extra for working. If you're like most people, you don't belong to a union and have no right to! Today, remember the people who are either out of work due to the bad economy or do very hard work so that we can have the things we want and need.

Help farm workers who are victims of worker's rights violations.

Urge your Senators to support the Paycheck Fairness Act.

Tell Congress to strengthen your privacy rights online.

WTF: Uncle Flow.

2010-09-04T11:54:00.004-04:00

Here's something stupid that I kept forgetting to talk about. It's a machine that men can wear around their tummies that simulates some of the physical symptoms of menstruation. There's fake blood and everything! Robin Marty at Care2 explains the usefulness of this product:

Would bleeding and cramping make a man a little more sympathetic to some of the everyday struggles of women? Couldn't hurt, right? So what would one do with a Menstruation Machine if it were actually released on the market? Maybe strap one on the male students in high school health class? Or make the pledges wear it as a stunt to get into college fraternities? The possibilities really are endless. I can't wait until they create a machine that will replicate childbirth for men. Maybe then we could actually get some maternity leave laws passed.

Um, no. It really shouldn't take actually experiencing menstruation or childbirth to understand that it's painful and a giant inconvenience. Case in point. When I was a little girl, there was this very annoying boy who would keep flirting with me. His name was Nick, and he was this short pudgy kid with curly brown hair. He bothered me, so I kicked him in the balls. A lot. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to that poor boy and his balls.

But, how could I possibly have known that getting kicked in the balls would hurt, since I don't have balls and therefore was never kicked there and never felt the pain of being kicked there? Maybe it's because getting kicked anywhere hurts. Likewise, if something is called "menstrual cramps," one could bet, no matter what their sex or gender, that they would hurt. You know, because cramps are painful. And everyone has bled from their nose or from a cut, and everybody knows that it's not an enjoyable experience.

So when men downplay the pain in the ass that is menstruation, pregnancy, and childbirth, they're not doing it because they're just simply ignorant of these feelings. They're doing it because they're privileged little assholes. Period.

Random Thought About "Ground Zero" Mosque

2010-08-25T22:45:00.004-04:00

I haven't updated in a while. And when I go a while without updating you should be worried, because that means I've been thinking a lot. For the past week or so, I've been thinking about the community center and Mosque being built in lower Manhattan. I've tweeted about it a lot, and if you follow my tweets, you know that I support their right to build the community center and Mosque there. I haven't even thought about "should they build there," because it doesn't make any difference to me. I think the most important thing is for the United States to uphold the Constitution and everyone's rights to freedom of religion and freedom to own property.

But a lot of people don't see it that way. Most people do support the right of the Mosque to be built, but most people don't think it should be built there. People have called the abandoned Burlington Coat Factory that was bought by Imam Rauf to build this community center "hallowed ground." I love a bargain as much as the next person, but "hallowed ground?" This building is two blocks away from Ground Zero, it's been abandoned for 8 years, and it's about time that area of the city be rebuilt to foster a feeling of community and at least try to bring it back to the bustling neighborhood it was before September 11, 2001. People like Newt Gingrich and other opposers of the Mosque are comparing Muslims to Nazis. Muslims all over the country who wish to build Mosques and Muslim prayer centers are being denied permits, as local governments are wiping their assess with the Constitution in order to please some racist jerks. And all of these thoughts naturally lead me to wonder this:

Did Glenn Beck face this much red tape from the government when he was planning his demonstration at the site of Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech this Saturday? Oh yeah. None. None at all. In fact, this was something he's been talking about for a year.

Think about it. Protesters of the Mosque in lower Manhattan are saying that because the 9/11 hijackers were Muslim, Muslims building on private property there would be in poor taste and would be a slap in the face to everyone who lost loved ones on September 11. Let's apply this logic be applied to Glenn Beck's demonstration. After all, a White person murdered Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Therefore, White people shouldn't be allowed to demonstrate on the site where he gave his "I Have a Dream" speech. It's sacred ground for African Americans who fought and died for equal rights. If you think I'm going too far with this, please read on.

One of the other major objections to a Muslim community and prayer center being built two blocks from Ground Zero is that this 13-story building is a symbol of Muslim's desire to convert everybody and change their most cherished beliefs and values. Fancy this quote.

This is going to be an image for the history books. If you come, I believe this may -- maybe in 100 years from now or 200 years from now -- I believe this will be remembered as a moment America turned the corner.

This is going to be an iconic event . . . This is a moment quite honestly, that I think we will reclaim the civil rights movement. It has been so distorted and so turned upside down. It's an abomination . . . We will take that movement because we were the people that did it in the first place.

Gee, who said that? Imam Rauf? No. It was Glenn Beck. It looks like Glenn Beck is the one who is trying to change history and our value system. Projection much?

Take Action Monday

2010-08-16T13:09:00.004-04:00

End breast ironing in Cameroon.

Protect Social Security.

Tell President Obama to increase humanitarian aid to displaced Iraqis.

Urge Sarah Palin to STFU.

Support Net Neutrality.

Speak out against Republican obstructionism.

Palins to Teachers: "Oooh."

2010-08-13T00:03:00.007-04:00

Former Governor Sarah "Winky Magee" Palin visited her home state of Alaska for some reason and brought a camera crew. Then, she saw a sign that said "WORST GOVERNOR EVER" and rushed over to talk to the person who made it. You know, because when Sarah Palin sees a sign that says "WORST GOVERNOR EVER," she automatically thinks, "That's me!" This is what went down:

Woman: You swore on your precious Bible that you would uphold the interests of this state. And then, when cash was waved in front of your face, you quit.

Sarah: [shocked] Oh, you wanted me to be your governor! I'm honored. Thank you.

Woman: I wanted you to honor your responsibilities. That is what I wanted. And to be part of the political process instead of becoming a celebrity so that you could -- and if that is the best you could do, then good for you, if that's the best you could do.

Sarah: That's why I'm out there, fighting for America, to have a Constitution protected so that we could have free speech.

Woman: Where are you fighting for that?

Sarah: Oh my goodness! To elect candidates who understand the Constitution, to protect our military interests so that we can keep fighting for our Constitution and freedoms --

Woman: By using your celebrity status. Certainly not by political --

One of Sarah's daughters -- Sprocket?: How is she a celebrity?

Sarah: I'm honored that she sees me as a celebrity!

Woman: You're certainly not representing the state of Alaska any longer, even though --

Palin's daughter -- Ozmodiar, I think: She's representing United States! *jazz hands*

Woman: Yes, I know. You belong to America now, and that's just fine.

Sarah: What do you do here?

Woman: I'm a teacher.

Sarah and Dingleberry Jones: Oooh. [exchange disappointed looks]

Yes, Sarah. Do you know what a teacher is? You should probably bring a Kindergarten teacher with you. She can improve your penmanship for the next time you want to read something off of your hand!

Ms. Palin's fee-fees got all hurt when news outlets played the video and concluded that she did indeed show contempt for this woman's career, albeit subtly. She certainly seemed much more thrilled when the woman identified herself as the wife of a commercial fisherman. Why not get so excited about her being a teacher, if you consider working in a school such an honorable profession that many of your family members hold? Where was she when John Boehner called the $20 billion jobs bill for teachers and police officers a "bailout for teachers unions?" Blogging in her PJs? Ms. Palin is all talk and no action and won't even come to the defense of her family when some jerk undermines their work. Shame, shame, shame.

So brava to Alaskan teacher lady, for speaking your mind, being proud, and being able to make a cogent argument. Can't say the same for Sarah Palin and her daughter, Boomerang Gypsy or something.

10 Things Anti-Choice Protesters Can Do to Help a Child Live a Happy Life

2010-08-02T23:04:00.013-04:00

I just finished watching (and re-watching some of) the HBO documentary 12th and Delaware. It's about an intersection in Florida where there is an abortion clinic and a crisis pregnancy center (CPC). Unfortunately, most of the documentary follows CPC workers and anti-choice protesters. I guess that's where all the juiciness is. But I saw the anti-choice protesters in a different way. Don't get me wrong. I did not see past their ignorance and downright hatred for women. It was abundant. But what got me the angriest was that they were wasting some of their redeeming qualities, like tenacity, dedication, and passion, on harassing and hurting women. They spend their days, and make their living, harassing, lying to, and insulting the intelligence of women and teen girls. The "counselor" of the CPC and an anti-choice protester in the film admitted that their tactics may be harmful and/or illegal (e.g., stalking doctors and locking pregnant women in a room for 6 hours to convince them not to have an abortion), but it was worth it, because they thought they were helping.

Imagine if they engaged in activities that helped children, instead of denigrating women?

So I had the idea to do some convincing myself. I don't know if I will convince anybody to change their routine, but I'll just get it out there. I would like anybody who spends their days protesting outside of abortion clinics and other women's health centers to take one hour, just ONE HOUR, out of their protesting schedule to help real sentient children live fulfilling lives. Here are some ideas.

1. Spend an hour reading to one or more children at the local library or hospital. In an hour, you can read a couple of really good picture books, and it's a great excuse to talk in funny character voices.

2. Join an organization like Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and spend an hour with a child playing an awesome board game like Chutes and Ladders. There's no chute for the girl who had an abortion, but I'm sure pro-lifers can still appreciate the lessons learned.

3. Volunteer at the library or an after-school program, and spend an hour helping children with their homework.

4. Get together with neighborhood parents and organize a carpool to transport children to and from school. It helps kids and the environment!

5. Spend an hour at the local recreation center and teach music, dancing, art, baking, or first aid to children.

6. I highly doubt that most anti-choicers would do this, but I'll give it a shot. Spend an hour a day being a crisis intervention counselor for The Trevor Project, a hotline for suicidal LGBTQ youth. Help save the life of a transgender, genderqueer, gay, bisexual, or questioning kid in need.

7. Spend a half hour standing outside of the grocery store and collect money for UNICEF, the March of Dimes, or Abandoned Babies and Children. Spend the other half hour buying groceries to donate to the local food bank, since millions of kids go hungry every day in the United States.

8. Spend an hour at a group home for foster children, teen moms, runaways, or juvenile offenders and talk or play with them.

9. Volunteer at the local park and motivate children to exercise and eat healthy.

10. Spend an extra hour a day enjoying the company of your own children, grandchildren, and the other adorable little kids in your lives. They might be jealous that you're giving so much attention to other women's embryos.

This isn't about changing the views of anti-choicers. I'm not even telling them to stop protesting outside of clinics (although I wish they would, since they're doing more harm than good [that was a rhyme]). All I'm saying is that the above 10 things (and many others) are at least as rewarding as protesting outside of a clinic, and way more effective at helping children live happy lives. So take an hour each day and help children in need who can at least smile in appreciation. Some might even say thank you!

P.S. Although I say "volunteer" throughout the post, you can get a paying job to do some of those things. But you'd have to do it for more than an hour, of course.

A Day at Glenn Beck Elementary

2010-07-25T21:34:00.006-04:00

By now, you have probably heard that Glenn Beck has started his own online university. Its motto is Faith, Hope, and Charity. Incidentally, a Sunday school teacher of mine from back in the day had a daughter with that very name. Isn't that nutty? Speaking of nutty, Glenn Beck has created an online university! It's not a real university where students earn credits, because college educations are for Communists and are at least the second most dangerous thing in America. Instead, it's just videos of three guys telling paid customers, called Insider Extremists, what hope, faith and charity are. Yes, three classes each on hope, faith, and charity. It should surprise no one that Glenn Beck thinks he has something to teach people who are old enough to use a credit card, because he's an egomaniac. In the interest of learning how to crawl before learning to walk, I think he should have created an elementary school first, because I don't think he's ready for higher learning. I wonder what a day at Glenn Beck Elementary would be like . . . .

In Language Arts, children would learn about such anti-Communist literary heroes as The Little Red Hen. You know her, right? She's the one who asked for help baking bread, and no one helped her. At the end of the story, she asks if anyone wants to help her eat the bread, and they all say "I do!" Then, she tells them all to go fuck themselves. The lesson is, they didn't help her make the bread, so they don't get to eat any of it. It's an important value to teach 6-year-olds to stop freeloading off of their parents and learn to use the stove themselves.

Then, it's time for Math. At Glenn Beck Elementary, being able to use numbers in one's daily life is very important. Students will be able to calculate how many illegal immigrants live in their neighborhoods, how many White babies they'll need to have to forestall brown folks becoming the majority, and how many webs of conspiracy theories one can make with a single box of chalk.

Only because this fascist state demands it, all of the students have to take Health. In an attempt to stick it to The Man, Glenn Beck Elementary school teachers tell kids the truth about nutrition. For example, the secret about candy is that it's really good for you. Dentists just say that sugar candy rots your teeth, because they want to keep all the candy for themselves. And people who exercise are the ones to blame for our nation's sky-rocketing healthcare costs, what with all their sport-related injuries. Oh, wait. That was Rush. Either way, no recess at Glenn Beck Elementary!

After Health comes Science, where students learn to separate fact from fiction. Evolution? Just a theory! Gravity? Just a theory! Climate change? Fascism! Thunder? Angels bowling!

The day is almost over, and now it's time for History. At Glenn Beck Elementary, students will learn about all of the great Americans that helped shape this country. There was civil rights hero Martin Luther King, Jr. He was kind of like Glenn Beck. And radical political thinker Thomas Paine. He was kind of like Glenn Beck too (Really? Whatever you say.). And one of our greatest founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin. That guy was a lot like Glenn Beck. And Revolutionary War hero Paul Revere. Just like Glenn Beck.

But really. Any old school teaches history. What makes Glenn Beck Elementary so great is that the kids in that school learn Future. In Future class, students will learn how Glenn Beck will reclaim the civil rights movement for White folks. Glenn Beck Elementary students will also be challenged to imagine what America will look like this Christmas, and next Christmas. And your children will surely get an A+ in Future, because name one damn thing that Glenn Beck has said that hasn't happened!

Take Action Today

2010-07-20T12:31:00.007-04:00

I missed my blog's 2nd birthday, which I believe was on the 9th. Am I entering the terrible twos?

Tell President Obama to reinstate abortion coverage in high risk pools.

Urge your Senators to pass a clean energy bill.

Support the DREAM Act.

Tell your Representative to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

Anti-Feminist Dating Service: Mel Gibson

2010-07-08T23:50:00.003-04:00

Guess who's back on the market? Mel Gibson! Yeah! Mel Gibson the movie star! And, I assume, future Just For Men spokesman! And I just can't believe that anybody would let this guy get away, because he really knows how to make a gal feel special. Here's Mel pitching woo to his lady, who just doesn't seem to appreciate his colorful imagination.

You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault.

Poetry. The only thing that would make this hotter is if instead of just wishing rape on a potential mate, he'd quit beating around the bush and threaten to rape her himself.

I am going to come and burn the house down, but you will blow me first.

That's the spot. And now that's he's under investigation for domestic violence, I'm sure his phone will be very busy. So if you're a lady lawyer, Mel could be verbally assaulting you in no time.

Praising Gogol Bordello's Decision to Boycott Arizona

2010-07-04T21:03:00.007-04:00

Earlier this week, the gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello announced on their Facebook page that they would not be playing any concerts in Arizona because of their racist immigration law, S.B. 1070. I am one of the over 600 people who "liked" their status, but the comments left on their Facebook page were a mixture of praise and whining (you probably need a Facebook account to see the comments, but I assure you the following comments are accurate. I'm not going to post names). Some people felt they were being "screwed over."

You guys aren't helping. All you're doing is stiffing the local promoters and the fans, which in turn just hurts us(not to mention our screwed local economy) instead of helping the cause. Screwing us over won't overturn a law we had no say in. That's not fair.

Here's a white guy in Arizona claiming he didn't have a vote! See, because that's what a representative government is. The citizens vote for representatives and the governor and urge them to vote and sign legislation to your liking. And if you didn't do that, then sucks to be an Arizonan, huh? But you know what's really unfair? Getting locked in a detention center because you have brown skin.

Here's someone with some sense:

If you live in AZ and it makes you sad, then make some noise and get SB1070 OVERTURNED so people aren't afraid to travel to your state.

Precisely, because if there ever was a band so conspicuous in style of music and attire, it's Gogol Bordello.

Every single one of these folks would be stopped and asked for their papers because of their strange clothes and shoes (6:06), not to mention accents. But one comment got me particularly perturbed:

I though[t] Gogol would be behind this. Seeing as how you and your family did everything legally and took the time and effort to do so. if i was an immigrant i would be very angry at illegal immigration. it would feel like a slap in my face, "oh you did it legally like responsible people? well screw you i am more important than you and i don't have the time to wait to do the paperwork."

The last part I get, the part about people not having the time to do the paperwork before they get out of their home country. And one of those people is Eugene Hutz, lead singer of the band (he's the one in the front of the photo with the fire bucket), and his family. They left Ukraine after the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. Talk about not having time to wait to do the paperwork, when you're running away from a mushroom cloud. They spent in refugee camps in three different countries before finally settling in Vermont. Eugene and his family are among the lucky immigrants who survived a nuclear explosion and refugee life.

Many immigrants don't have those resources. They escape war, systemic rape, genocide, and more to come to the United States and other stable nations for a better life. Many of these immigrants are denied asylum and are desperate to come to the country under any means necessary. So I'm pretty sure Eugene Hutz is empathetic to the plights of immigrants who are trying to escape turmoil in pursuit of happiness. If only that were guaranteed in some long-standing American document.

Because I love Gogol Bordello's music and the fact that they are boycotting Arizona until they overturn this ridiculously racist law, I'm going to update my above playlist with some of my favorite songs of theirs. Unfortunately, playlist.com doesn't have much from Trans-Continental Hustle. Enjoy anyway!

Vietnamese Acupuncturist Discovers Male Hymen!

2010-07-02T22:46:00.004-04:00

An acupuncturist in Vietnam claims that red spots on a man's ear means he's a virgin. She used her amazing discovery to free three convicted rapists, including one who was sentenced to 16 years in prison for being involved in a gang rape of a 20-year-old. Isn't that crazy? A guy getting a 16-year prison sentence for rape? Sixteen months, if he were in America.

Stranger still, she threatened to light herself on fire if the rapists' cases weren't reopened. If I were the president of Vietnam, I'd have sent her some lighter fluid and matches and wished her a happy Independence Day. But the real president of Vietnam reopened the men's cases, and the men were subsequently freed.

I'm wondering why one acupuncturist has more power than the rule of law, or the women who were raped by these "virgins."

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

2010-06-22T22:54:00.009-04:00

Last Monday, I played New York City tour guide to a family from Arizona. All I have to say is, Bill Maher was right.

Support clean energy legislation.

Tell BP to provide respirators to clean-up workers.

Tell BP to stop burning endangered sea turtles alive.

Help to repeal the ban on privately-funded abortion in the military.

Tell Congress to make ending violence against women a priority.

Protect whales from hunting.

Support full funding for public media.

Keep important reproductive decisions between patients and doctors, not legislators.

Pledge to be an advocate for immigrants.

Support healthcare coverage of immunosuppressive drugs.

Random Thought About Natural Gas Exploration

2010-06-12T21:43:00.004-04:00

I haven't updated in a while, but I have been thinking. In light of the BP oil disaster, I've been thinking about natural gas. Even though most people still support off-shore drilling, I think President Obama and the United States Congress is going to be advocating for more natural gas exploration. One of the benefits of natural gas is that it is plentiful in North America, amounting to over a trillion cubic feet in the United States alone (I can't even wrap my head around that number). Natural gas is cleaner than coal and oil.

(The rest of the information from this post comes from an episode of Dan Rather Reports called Fracking Gas)

However, there are problems with natural gas. It's a non-renewable fossil fuel, like oil and coal. Americans still need to demand cutting our dependence on fossil fuels, in favor of clean and renewable energy sources, even if there are a thousand years of natural gas available for our consumption (although it's probably more like a hundred years).

Natural gas also requires mining, either onshore or offshore, which destroys habitats. The process of extracting natural gas from the earth, called fracking, requires drilling thousands of feet into the land. The technique also uses a slurry of chemicals to break free the natural gas from underground shale rock. Some people who live near these fracking sites believe that their well water became contaminated. Here is one woman's testimony from the episode of Dan Rather Reports:

When I became so ill, the bone pain was very extreme in my legs and-- and then, as-- in my tailbone. And as the weeks went by, it-- it started to-- like it was crawling up my-- my spine. And eventually, you know, it went throughout the whole body. And things have progressed from there of-- of becoming more ill. The s-- the seizures that have come on, the-- the-- the migraines, the continual feeling is as if you have the flu, and . . .

This was after the natural gas company paid thousands of dollars to install a water filtration system in the woman's home, because their tap water was black. Other families who live near fracking sites have had similar health problems and cannot consume local well water because of its odor and color. More research needs to be done to determine if these problems were caused by natural gas fracking or something else before the United States government decides to tap into more of the country's natural gas reserves.

My last problem with natural gas, while not an inherent problem, I think needs to be improved before the United States approves more natural gas exploration: Split-Estate Law. The best way I can explain Split-Estate is to think of it as a compromise between the Homestead Act and Eminent Domain. In 1916, the Homestead Act gave acres upon acres of farmland to regular people, but the federal government still owned the mineral rights below the land. Eminent Domain is the federal government's right and responsibility to relocate people for a fair price, if doing so benefits the general public (e.g., creating public transportation). Split-Estate allows for the energy company and the owner of the surface land to negotiate a fair price to drill for oil, coal, or natural gas. So I guess there's not going to be any Beverly Hillbillies situation happening if the United States expands natural gas drilling. I fear that Split-Estate laws continues near energy monopolies, instead of creating local, small, independently-owned natural gas companies. I think Split-Estate laws should either be eliminated, giving below-surface land ownership to the surface landowners, or they should be changed to ensure that surface landowners are paid a ton of money for the natural gas extracted from the land.

Shorter Kevin Hogan: Every Woman is Secretly Telling You that They Want to Fuck You, Even if It's Just a Little

2010-06-01T23:08:00.006-04:00

via Feministing

I don't really expect anything more from a blog post brought to you by an Axe body spray product, but come on. Some site called Asylum.com talked to a body language expert named Kevin Hogan to help really inept men figure out what women are telling them, without all the work and frustration that goes into listening to them talk. According to Hogan, a woman can't stand or sit without inviting sexual advances from strange men.

"She's non-consciously drawing attention to her neck, which is a bit of an invitation," says Hogan. "That, combined with her very off-balance posture, could be interpreted that she likes you and trusts you."

Or maybe she's checking her pulse as she's listening to you go on and on about the sophisticated system you created to rank the Kardashian sisters (Really? Tits to Ass Ratio? You don't say!). But let's not take her word for it. Nick Hogan is here to relieve you of the burden of wondering why you stand like that. Such thoughts used to consume me. Please, tell me more.

"She is prepared to be obedient," he says. "Her hands are keeping her posture straight and completely open and her neck is completely exposed. That's as open an invitation as she can give you."

You know, without her actually telling you with words. But if you thought she'd fuck you now, wait until you see her sit like this . . .

This laid-back stance signifies that this woman is "aggressively flirting with you," our expert tells us. "She shows you her body, but blocks it with her right arm offering you a small hurdle to get past to get the prize."

I was sitting very much like this on a rock ledge not long ago, eating a frozen yogurt parfait and watching a bluegrass band performing outside of the fair trade tea salon and market. That's why all those hippies followed me home! Oh, wait. That didn't happen.

But this is my favorite. Lest you think that all hope is lost when you make her recoil in horror, consider this.

Either you just said something offensive or your breath is bad. This is obvious because the woman has leaned away from you in addition to crossing her arms. Luckily, "Her feet are still pointed toward you, forgiving your boorish behavior," says Hogan.

Gee, what could he be saying here? "Do you like 3Oh!3? They're my favorite band!" "Yeah, I pretty much watch everything on G4, except Ninja Warrior. That show blows." "You like how I smell? It's Axe shower gel. I can write more poems like that if you want."

For all the confidence and advice that men's websites and blogs are supposed to give guys, they're really just making things more complicated (and making a lot of guys infinitely creepier and more likely to think nonconsensual sex is just fine). If you're looking for a friend or a girlfriend, just start talking to them. See where the conversation goes. It'll only take a few minutes of actual conversation for you to figure out if this person is someone you want to spend more than a few minutes with. Instead of looking at where her hand is or how much of her weight is distributed to her right side or in which direction her left big toe is pointing, LISTEN TO WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY.

Take Action Monday

2010-05-31T22:52:00.006-04:00

I was going to post these petitions earlier, but I saw El Secreto de sus Ojos (The Secret in their Eyes), the Argentinean film that won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film a few months back. There were a surprising number of senior citizens there. The movie is amazing, and knowing that a bunch of old people ditched their stupid families to go see it made it even sweeter.

Support Secretary Salazar's plan for increasing renewable energy sources and energy efficiency.

Preserve the International Affairs Budget.

Tell FOX to fire racist contributor John Stossel.

Support Alan Grayson's (D-FL) The War is Making You Poor Act.

Repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Reject the Texas Textbook Massacre.

Strip BP of all federal contracts.

Who to Honor Today

2010-05-31T14:12:00.007-04:00

Today is Memorial Day, a day that since the Civil War, has been observed to honor the soldiers who died during war time. Soldiers haven't died fighting to preserve America's young democracy in a long time, probably not since the Civil War, oddly enough. Since then, Americans have fought in other people's wars to protect other people, and we tell ourselves that they're fighting for us, because that protects our psyche. Whether you agree with the reasons for going to war or not, these soldiers are still dead. It is important for Americans to honor the memories of the tens of thousands of soldiers who have died protecting people we care deeply about, even if it's just each other.

Today is also the one year anniversary of the murder of Dr. George Tiller, one of the only late-term abortion providers in the country, by anti-choice terrorist and convicted murderer Scott Roeder. Women from across the country with pregnancies that threatened their lives and health and that of their fetuses received care from Dr. Tiller and the other personnel at his clinic in Kansas. He helped them relieve some of the suffering in a very difficult and sad part of their lives. Please honor him on this day.

The Funny & Fucked Up

2010-05-27T20:24:00.006-04:00

The Funny

After Bill O'Reilly tells Columbia University professor Dr. Marc Lamont Hill that he looks like a cocaine dealer, Dr. Hill responds: "You look like a cocaine user."

A couple of feminist blogs have talked about a new right-wing website called America Speaking Out. Conservatives post their ideas to improve America, and visitors to the site vote for the ideas. It appears that several funny liberals have taken the site over and posted some jokes.

The Fucked Up

A radio station in Columbus, Ohio had a contest in which the "winner" gets a trip to Phoenix, Arizona to "chase aliens." You can encourage them to apologize here.

An elementary school teacher in Norfolk, Virginia gave four-inch plastic fetus dolls to their students, along with anti-choice messages.

No, Walter, You Did Women a Favor

2010-05-25T22:53:00.005-04:00

It's pretty clear that to fill in for Rush Limbaugh, you have to be more utterly insane and just plain stupider than he is. That way, all of us liberal cry babies can be thankful when he comes back to just sprinkle discriminatory language throughout his broadcasts instead of slabbing it on pretty thickly like this fool. I'm honestly surprised when people say such ridiculousness. I don't care to research this guy's credentials, but people who host radio shows tend to be formally educated with college degrees and life experience. And then I remember that right-wing nut jobs on the radio aren't stupid. They just know that their audience is stupid and play on that. Right wing nut jobs on the radio don't care about delivering news, insight, or analysis. Their purpose in life is to make idiots feel smart (and vote). In the above clip, Walter E. Williams compares systemic discrimination to seeking a potential spouse.

Back in 1960, when I was choosing a marriage partner, I systematically discriminated against White women. I didn't give Asian women an equal chance to marry me. I didn't give women with criminal records or women that did not bathe regularly. I did not give them an equal opportunity to marry me. Now you might be saying, "That type of discrimination doesn't hurt anybody." Well, if you said that, I would be insulted, because when I chose to marry my wife, I harmed other women. I reduced their opportunity set. So I did harm other people.

If your point of view only works with an analogy that proves you're an arrogant asshole, then you have no point. You see, Mr. Williams getting off the market in 1960 didn't harm anyone (except maybe his wife). It didn't reduce other women's pool of possible husbands. With Mr. Williams out of the way, straight women were more likely to find a husband that, you know, didn't believe in controlling them and making their kids work instead of go to school. Seriously, he said all that nonsense in the same show.

Now do us another solid and stop talking.

Take Action Monday

2010-05-17T18:19:00.004-04:00

Tell Massey shareholders to fire CEO Don Blankenship.

Speak out against outsourcing.

Stop subsidies for dirty energy.

Make climate legislation a top priority.

Keep suspected terrorists from buying firearms.

Tell Facebook that you want to keep your personal information private.

Ban new offshore drilling.

Urge Congress to fix Medicare.

So Not Funny, Family Guy!

2010-05-10T14:48:00.005-04:00

I never watch Family Guy, because I think it's stupid and unfunny. When I found out that Quagmire's dad was going to come out as transgender, I figured I'd boycott the episode. But I decided that I'd rather watch it and become offended. As a cis woman who will never have to endure the harassment, assault, murder, and everything in between that trans women suffer every day, it was the least I could do.

So after a handful of gay jokes, Quagmire's dad comes out as "a woman trapped in a man's body" and decides to have a sex change operation. When Quagmire goes to Peter and Lois for comfort, they can't seem to tell the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. After some banter, Lois concludes that they should all agree that Quagmire's dad is "odd." While at the hospital with Quagmire, Peter calls Quagmire's dad "it" and a "he/she." After Quagmire's dad, now Ida, reveals the results of the operation, Peter gives her the thumbs-up. Trans women don't need cis men's approval to make sure that they're sufficiently womanly, even in a cartoon. Later, Ida is invited to dinner at the Griffin's where transmisogynist jokes and comments are hurled both at Ida and daughter Meg. After the dinner, Ida and Quagmire get into an argument, so Ida goes to a bar for some drinks. She meets the Griffins' dog, Brian, and they end up having sex. You know, because trans women are into beastiality. Brian tells the Griffins that he's met a wonderful woman, and everyone thinks it's hilarious when they find out Brian's love interest is Ida. Stewie is the last person Brian tells about his wonderful new lady friend, and Stewie tells Brian about Quagmire's dad. They have a good laugh about it, calling her an "it" several times, questioning the validity of trans women's relationships, and defining her private parts as "a train wreck." When Brian finds out that he had sex with Ida, Quagmire's father, he vomits for like 30 seconds.

This list of transmisogynist "jokes" is by no means exhaustive. That was just from memory. There were probably a lot more hateful jokes in there. But don't take my word for it! Watch the whole episode!

Pretty much every transmisogyinst stereotype was incorporated in this episode. Except for Ida becoming a prostitute. How did Seth MacFarlane miss that one? Now, many people will tell me, "It's Family Guy! What do you expect?" "They offend everyone eventually!" "It's called being edgy! Get a sense of humor!" If Family Guy was that edgy, they would have made a pro-trans episode. Hell, they didn't even use the words "trans," "transgender," or "trans woman" in the entire episode. Instead, they rolled out all the anti-trans woman stereotypes and put them in one episode. These jokes are offensive and contribute to the death of trans women. When someone calls a trans woman a "he/she" or an "it" or question the legitimacy of her body parts and romantic relationships, they are dehumanizing trans women, and that is tantamount to advocating for their demise.

Yeah, so not funny, Family Guy.

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

2010-04-27T22:45:00.002-04:00

End racial profiling in Arizona.

Make trucking companies for new clean-air trucks. They're currently making their workers pay for them.

Tell the National Auto Dealers Association that you want cleaner cars.

Take all weapons inscribed with Bible verses out of combat zones.

Support immigration reform that does good by the mentally ill and disabled.

Close the gun show loophole.

I Know Rape Apology When I Read It. Rape Apologists Don't

2010-04-25T22:13:00.006-04:00

My absence has been long, but I know somebody has lurked here in the meantime (more on that later). Unfortunately, my grand return isn't going to be one of those funny posts that I usually do. The frequency of my funny entries is entirely subjective, but I assure you, this is one of the posts that better fits my recently created subheading.

Nobody asked, but one of my biggest pet peeves is rape apology. If that's not liberal elite enough for you, perhaps you'd rather drop the term "rape apologia" at a party. For those who don't know, rape apology is speech that takes the side of the perpetrator in spite of the victim in rape cases. In essence, the rape apologist is apologizing, or explaining away, the especially heinous crime of rape (seriously, who doesn't watch Law & Order: SVU?). It is damaging to all women, not just victims of rape, but survivors who are subjected to this vitriol can really be hurt by this.

It all started with this post at Her Authority, a blog I highly recommend, written by ProChoiceGal. Actually, it started with this post at some other blog that I don't really care about. On Twitter, the author of the blog that I don't really care about tweeted a link about the 11-year-old pregnant Mexican girl who was raped, allegedly by her stepfather. The title of the article was 11-Year-Old 'Rape' Victim Wants to Keep Baby (stay classy, FOX News). Even novice feminists see the problem with putting the word rape in quotation marks; it totally delegitimizes what happened to this girl. ProChoiceGirl replied, asking what's up with the quotes around the word rape. The author of the blog that I don't really care about doesn't see the problem and took it upon herself to write an entire post lambasting ProChoiceGal about the fact that she did not report her rapist to the police. Here's only the second most offensive part of the post:

@ProChoiceGal wrote an entire blog post on “Anti-Choicers and Rape Apologists” [my side note: please read it!]. But I think she overlooked the real rape apologist, herself. She is so engulfed in her role as the victim; she totally ignores the bastard that raped her. Is he in jail? If not, why the hell not?

Calling a rape survivor a rape apologist for not reporting the rape? This person considers herself to be pro-life, by the way, and proves that women can be just as sexist as men. I agree with ProChoiceGal when she says that this is how anti-choicers react to pro-choicers who call out bullshit. They get scared and refuse to think about how their words are perceived by others. Speaking of which, I called that rape apologist a Grade-A 100% piece of dog shit. I thought long and hard in crafting that insult, and I'm pretty proud of it. After ProcChoiceGal explained why she didn't report the rape, the rape apologist said this, and it really set me off:

How many other young women has this guy raped because he wasn’t put in jail? For generations, perverts have been allowed to attack their victims, and NOTHING is done to them. They get away with it, and do it again, and again. This is what has to change.

I don't have to explain why this logic is problematic and pure rape apology, right?*But that's exactly what the author of that gem wanted me to do, in 140 characters or less, at that! So, the rape apologist came to my neglected blog to check out my Twitter feed in order to talk about me.

@Justsnapd8 #uncovertheculprit UN @funnyfeminist aka FEMily posted the comment http://twitpic.com/1ia19a Apology expected! #prochoice #prolife

Since when do I belong to the UN? I don't have my own country, yet.

@Justsnapd8 @FunnyFeminist Why would you call someone you don't know, an asshole, and a piece of dog shit? Did I do something to u? #prolife #prochoice

Not just to me, to all of womankind. I didn't say why, because I think metacognition is important. Doing her thinking for her just rewards laziness. I told her to read the comment she left for ProChoiceGal over and over until it clicked in her mind that she was indeed engaging in rape apology. She came back to me five minutes later, totally not getting it. I told her to spend more than five minutes thinking about it. I checked my feed every few minutes to see what she had to say, and was impressed that nearly an entire half hour passed without a response. After all that waiting, she said:

@Justsnapd8 @FunnyFeminist I refuse to let a person w/ little or no real life experience, attempt to belittle me this way. Goodbye Emily

I think it's funny that she believes 25 years, 7 months, and 7 days isn't enough life experience to engage in a serious conversation, but she'll fight to the death for the pretend rights of zygotes, who are -9.5 months old, no matter how much it belittles the human rights of women. Maybe her affinity with zygotes is due to the fact that they never talk back, unlike those bitchy educated Latinas.

I told that poor woman that her hostility toward metacognition will ultimately be her downfall. And I didn't say that just to sound highfalutin. I did it because I'm genuinely concerned about people who refuse to think about their thinking. That's exactly how rape apologia, and other types of hate speech, spread unchecked. So when you're called out on your bullshit, just check it. It's really eye-opening and makes you a better person.

*In case I do have to explain it, this kind of logic is rape apologia, because it makes the victim, rather than the rapist, responsible for other women's suffering. It is thinly veiled in the common sexist belief that women are the morally superior sex, and is therefore responsible for the well-being of every person in the entire world, a burden that nobody else is expected to carry. This belief, possibly in a contradictory way, has been used to argue against suffrage, abortion rights, education equity, and basically every other civil rights fight that women have been engaging in since the beginning of time.

Mothers Get a Day. "Abortion Recovery" Gets a Month

2010-04-15T23:35:00.002-04:00

For the second year in a row, Minnesota's Republican governor Tim Pawlenty declared April "Abortion Recovery Month." You know, because we feeble-minded ladies need a month to recover from having an abortion. Hey, does that mean women can take that month off of work if they say they had an abortion? Because that would almost be worth being belittled by this ridiculous proclamation. Probably not, though, since Minnesota doesn't even have paid maternity leave.

I'm a bit peeved by this declaration, perhaps for different reasons than you think. Unless you checked out the title of this post. Declaring "Abortion Recovery Month" not only exaggerates the mental and physical affects of having an abortion to the point of totally silencing the women who made the decision to have an abortion with a clear conscious and without regret, it belittles the job of moms. This is very much like the anti-choice movement and the Republican Party in general, as neither group does anything to make it easier and more enjoyable to be a mom (or a kid, for that matter). In fact, they work pretty damn hard to make the lives of women and children suckier.

I just think that moms are at least as nice people as women who have regretted their abortions. So why should the latter get a whole month, while the former only get a day? I guess it's because conservatives don't like mothers and children as much as they like micromanaging what goes in and comes out of every woman's vagina.

Take Action Monday

2010-04-12T12:09:00.004-04:00

Make Sarah Palin's dream come true -- tell media conglomerate Discovery Communications to pull her special. Democracy will thank you.

Corn's for eatin', not for burnin'. Say no to more ethanol subsidies.

Help Katrina survivors rebuild.

Tell the EPA to take toxic chemicals off the market.

Thank Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens for his commitment to upholding the Constitution.

Juiz Baize, Constance McMillen, and every LGBTQ student deserve equal access to education. Support the Student Non-Discrimination Act.

Demand that Congress sign the Protecting America's Workers Act.

The Last Person in the World Who Should Be Telling You When It's OK to Get Preggers, Tells You When It's OK to Get Preggers (& Doesn't Get It Right)

2010-04-08T13:49:00.006-04:00

That might have just been the longest title in AFF history! Anywho, Bristol Palin, who is a spokeswoman for a keep-your-legs-closed organization called the Candie's Foundation has a new public service announcement for all you slutty little girls out there: Don't fuck, unless you're rich like moi.

What if I didn't come from a famous family? What if I didn't have all their support? What if I didn't have all these opportunities?

Um, you'll be alone with your bundle of joy, wearing a white t-shirt and boyfriend jeans, standing in front of a couch in your tiny studio apartment?

Omigod, I was totally right!

The problem with this ad is that it is totally classist. Bristol Palin is essentially saying that it's okay that she was sexually active, got pregnant, and became a parent because she comes from a rich and famous family with lots of connections. But because you don't have these things, you should do what the Candie's Foundation says and keep your legs closed. I'm actually surprised that this organization even has Bristol Palin as a spokesperson. Nothing says "be skeptical of the media's portrayal of teen pregnancy and parenting" like getting $100,000 for posing on magazine covers and $300,000 for selling your baby pictures to the tabloids.

Take Action Monday

2010-04-05T16:41:00.004-04:00

I didn't post any petitions last week, because I don't like having two TAM posts in a row. It's a reminder of how badly I'm neglecting my blogging duties.

Urge textbook manufacturers to reject the Texas Textbook Massacre.

Save endangered Mexican Gray Wolves.

End the occupation of Iraq.

Tell President Obama and AG Holder to stop defending warrant-less wiretapping.

Demand that Bank of America CEO publish his tax returns.

See What Strict Gender Roles Does to Children?

2010-04-02T19:16:00.001-04:00

Yes, sir, you are a horrible father. Oh, I kid.

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

2010-03-23T11:36:00.006-04:00

So healthcare reform finally passed. I wouldn't call it a good or a bad bill. If I assigned a student an essay on how to reform the healthcare system and they gave me the major reforms in this bill, I would give them an Incomplete or Needs Improvement. We are not done, but we do not need to start over. We need to add more protections. We need to make sure that Medicaid and Medicare recipients aren't denied care because doctors don't get reimbursed enough. We need to make sure that people aren't denied treatment because it's experimental. The Representatives should be thanked for passing this legislation, but we must demand that they fight for more reform.

Say no to Jewish settlements in Palestine.

Urge Republican leadership to condemn the bigotry in their supporters.

Tell the Democratic Party to stop supporting anti-choice Democrats' campaigns.

Support the Fair Elections Now Act.

End the crack/cocaine sentencing disparity.

Random Thought About Fashion

2010-03-22T22:18:00.002-04:00

I don't blog too much about fashion, but I talk about it a lot. I love clothes, particularly how they bring out the best in each of our beautiful bodies. But when the feminists on the mainstream feminist blogs talk about fashion, it's always in a negative light. It's often a deep and academic analysis of why women wear what they wear, and, unsurprisingly, it's often a screed rife with cissexist and heterosexist assumptions. You know how it is, the whole bit about how we're all really femme because we're taught that this is the only way we can be attractive to men. And then there's a lot of self-congratulation when women proudly proclaim that this is all why they only shop in the men's section. Or it's a rant about the failures of the fashion industry, which are well-deserved, but it gets old when it's the only fashion entries on a feminist blog. Yes, models are unhealthily thin. We know. Thanks for sharing that with us for the third time this week.

There's a reason I put a slew of links to sites that sell fair trade and eco-friendly clothing: What we wear makes a statement about ourselves, and there are fashionable clothes that reflect our values. For all the feminist talk about how we should be judged by our brains and not our looks, we often forget that our choice in clothes comes as much from our brains as our poetry or our paintings or our math homework. I recently told my two best buds that I prefer compliments about my clothes and shoes than about my face, because I put a lot of thought into putting together the outfits that I put on my body. I was born with the face.

And for all of the talk about how we should love our bodies and how everyone is beautiful, I think the hostility toward fashion by the feminist community comes from an inaccurate body image. I think a lot of feminists talk about how they used to have a poor body image and now see themselves as beautiful no matter what their body looks like. But they don't say if that body image is accurate. Sure, a cis woman can shop in the men's section and believe that she's making some grand stand against gendered clothing. But I also think this is an outright denial of the shape of their bodies. And because I believe having an accurate body image and knowing the landscape of your body inside and out is imperative to having a positive body image, I'm not sure a lot of women who claim to have a positive body image really do. They may love their bodies, but they don't know them. And they don't know the bodies of other women. They don't see women's bodies, in the way some people don't see race, to protect themselves from feeling like they've objectified someone. But maybe if they'd know the uniqueness of their body and of other women's bodies, they'd see fashion as an individual statement that projects to the world all the things we love about ourselves, inside and out.

Kotex & Breaking the Cycle

2010-03-16T22:44:00.003-04:00

Kotex has a pretty hilarious campaign geared toward young women that tries to break stereotypes about periods that are prevalent throughout conventional ads for menstrual products. The site, U by Kotex, could be better. But the part I really like is a declaration that young women can sign to love their bodies and talk honestly about their periods without embarrassment. One of their commercials shows a woman talking about her period and kind of making fun of all of the menstrual product commercials that are out there.

Take Action Monday

2010-03-08T10:30:00.006-05:00

It's International Women's Day! Take the time this day to recognize the wonderful women around the world who work hard and still get shit on.

Urge your Senators to co-sponsor the GROWTH Act.

Encourage Congress to support the International Violence Against Women Act.

Tell Congress to pass real health reform now.

Close concentration camps in North Korea.

Tell the Washington Post to stop promoting torture on their editorial page.

Keep the Toyota plant in Fremont California open.

Sarah Palin Tries to be Funny, Fails.

2010-03-05T10:55:00.003-05:00

The ever evolving Sarah Palin chased the limelight to the set of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno to add "crappy stand-up comic" to her resume. But some jokes are a little hard for Sarah Palin to understand, like this one I asked her during an interview before the 2008 election (just play along, people):

Me: Knock, knock.

Sarah Palin: Who's there?

Me: Vice President.

Sarah Palin: Vice President who? Seriously, what's a Vice President?

Then she tried to get me back for making her look like a fool. It totally backfired.

Sarah Palin: Knock, knock.

Me: Who's there?

Sarah Palin: Newspaper.

Me: Which one?

Sarah Palin: . . . Shit!

Castle Doctrine vs. Body Temple

2010-03-04T12:45:00.006-05:00

Late last year, I learned about Castle Doctrine laws on an episode of Dan Rather Reports. Coming from the saying "A man's home is his castle," Castle Doctrine laws give people the right to use deadly force against trespassers. Needless to say, these laws are quite controversial. Even the former president of the National Rifle Association, Marion Hammer, who started the Castle Doctrine effort in the state of Florida, believes that the law might go too far in some cases. According to the NRA, there are 24 states with Castle Doctrine Laws (as of February 2010). Many of the states with these laws are conservative states that really love their guns, and it seems to be seen as more of a gun rights issue than a property, privacy, or human rights issue (I believe it's a bit of all of these).

I'm with Marion Hammer on the Castle Doctrine laws, in that using deadly force should be legal when protecting one's life and body, but not to protect one's property. There are gray areas in such situations, like when someone breaks into your house in the middle of the night; you don't know if someone is there to hurt you or steal your stuff, and no one wants to take any chances there. But the Castle Doctrine laws got me thinking about abortion laws, which I will call Body Temple laws, from the saying "My body is a temple." Like I said before, a lot of the states that have Castle Doctrine laws are red states, and I was curious to find out about their abortion legislation. So I headed over to NARAL's site to check it out.

Texas: Gets an F from NARAL for requiring biased counseling and parental consent laws. Their Castle Doctrine law doesn't specifically mention property, but deadly force can be used against a trespasser without the owner's life being threatened.

Alabama: Also gets an F from NARAL for the same reasons Texas does. Alabama also has an unconstitutional ban on abortion that cannot be enforced. Their Castle Doctrine law has been changed to scrap a "duty to retreat" measure, meaning the person doesn't have to try to get away before using deadly force. It is assumed that the person's life and body are in danger if someone intrudes their home, workplace, vehicle, or anywhere else they have a right to be.

Florida: Gets a D from NARAL for having an unconstitutional ban on abortion, biased pre-abortion counseling, and parental consent laws. Furthermore, a Florida legislator was "led by the Lord" to file a bill that would make abortion a felony punishable by a life sentence in prison. Florida's Castle Doctrine law is quite strong. Victims of intrusion on one's property are given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to using deadly force against trespassers, meaning the law assumes that every intruder on a person's property is there to cause bodily harm or death. There is no duty to retreat, and the person who uses deadly force against an intruder cannot be prosecuted.

Idaho: Another F from NARAL for having the same restrictions on abortion as Alabama. Additionally, Idaho prohibits private health insurance companies from covering abortion. I think they should get an F- for that one. Their Castle Doctrine law allows the use of deadly force to defend one's body and life.

Nebraska: Also gets an F from NARAL for parental consent laws, health insurance restrictions, and refusal to provide reproductive health services. Their Castle Doctrine law is being held up in committee, but if passed, it would allow the use of firearms and deadly force against intruders to protect oneself and others.

South Dakota: Not surprisingly at all, South Dakota gets an F from NARAL for having probably every anti-abortion measure on the books. South Dakota also tried twice, unsuccessfully, to ban abortion in almost all cases. State Senator Bill Napoli went so far as to redefine rape to take into consideration the woman's sexual history, religion, and in which body part she was penetrated. The same Mike Rounds who signed the eventually overturned abortion bans signed into law Castle Doctrine legislation that permits people to use deadly force against someone to protect their property from theft and injury. Property injury? Didn't think there was such a thing.

I think you get the point I'm making here. I'm not about to go through all 24 states Castle Doctrine and Body Temple laws here, but you certainly can check them all out. You might even want to perform a statistical analysis to see the correlation. But it seems pretty clear to me that there are a lot of states that allow you to kill someone for trespassing on your property or when you believe your bodily integrity, life, or even the prettiness of your property is at stake. In some states, people are trusted that they were truly in danger when they kill an intruder. They are given immunity and don't have to prove that they were in danger. In essence, they can get away with murder as long as they say the trespasser was trying to hurt them, as long as there's no compelling evidence disputing that claim. They don't even have to run away, or try everything they can to avoid getting hurt, before using deadly force. They are given the benefit of the doubt, because these laws place petty thieves on the same level as cold-blooded murderers.

So why does a woman have to go through a counseling session or "think about it" for 24 hours before having an abortion? Why are there so many restrictions on a woman using -- and I'll use some inflated anti-choice rhetoric here to make my point -- deadly force against an embryo or fetus who is using her body without her permission? If a young woman in South Dakota can kill a trespasser who's on her property to spray paint "Murdering whore" on her car, why does that same young woman have to get permission from her parents or receive biased counseling or wait 24 hours before having an abortion, to get rid of an embryo that's using her body against her will? Why aren't these women given that same benefit of the doubt, that they seriously considered all other options before making the final decision to have an abortion? Seems like property has more rights in some parts of the country than women, and it's extremely disturbing.

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

2010-03-02T14:56:00.005-05:00

I have a post idea in the works, so I should be less lazy about updating this thing this week.

Tell Senators Kyl and Bunning to extend unemployment benefits.

Support antitrust laws for health insurance companies.

Urge the EPA to protect farmers and their children from pesticides.

Yes, it's a short one today.

Take Action Monday

2010-02-22T11:53:00.006-05:00

President Obama's healthcare proposal doesn't have a public option! Tell Congress that you support the public health insurance option, even if it'll only take 51 Democratic Senators to pass it.

Support the legalization of medicinal marijuana.

Urge President Obama to prevent Shell from drilling for oil offshore.

Prosecute Dick Cheney for supporting torture.

Help veterans re-enter the job market.

Stop the destruction of our natural forests.

Speak out against racial profiling.

Tell Sarah Palin to get her facts straight.

Some CPAC Funny

2010-02-19T22:47:00.002-05:00

CPAC, the Conservative Political Action -- [looks at hand] Convention -- strike that -- Conference, is taking place this week in Washington, D.C. I think it's a week. I normally wouldn't care about these things, but there are a couple of funny videos from the event. First is some guy who decries the presence of a conservative gay organization at the convention. A conservative gay organization? Outside of the Catholic church? You're kidding me! He rationalizes his outrage by saying that civil rights are rooted in natural rights and natural rights are rooted in nature and nature is Wee-Wees + Foo-Foos = Baby. During his rant, something pretty amazing happens

He gets booed! Maybe it's because the crowd respects conservatives of the gay variety. Maybe it's because the absence of tie around his neck automatically makes him Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's BFF. But then this guy launches probably the best insult in history:

The lesbians at Smith protest better than you do!

That's probably because lesbians have always had plenty to protest about, even in super-duper gay Northampton (Hey, Diana & Tori!). Conservatives discovered protesting when Glenn Beck told them to discover it.

Next, Rachel Maddow attended CPAC, mostly to laugh at people. I really have nothing to add here. It's just plain funny.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

So Not Funny, Keith Olbermann!

2010-02-19T10:46:00.003-05:00

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Keith Olbermann called his Worst Person in the World segment last night "unusual," and ended it with this:

All I have to say about Ann Coulter is this: If this guy wants to live his life as a woman, I'm gonna back his choice up 100 percent.

Calling Ann Coulter a man? Real unusual, Keith. And so not funny.

I know what you're thinking, because it wasn't long ago when my cis brain might have accepted this train of thought. "But Ann Coulter made a litany of gender-variant-phobic jokes in the column Keith quoted. She dissed cross-dressing! She dissed androgyny! She dissed butch lesbians! Why aren't you holding her accountable? Coulter is worse than Olbermann!" Maybe she is worse than he is, but not today. Or last night when Keith made that comment. I would really like the whole world to be above this, but I think the best hope the world has of becoming above this is if our progressive media figures become above this. Conservatives aren't going to call Coulter out on her trans hate. If anything, they might praise her for it. Progressives don't seem to be calling Olbermann out either. One woman on Twitter actually said it was the best part of her day. How's that for praise? But I still believe there are some people in the progressive movement that will tell him that his comments were offensive.

So that's why I e-mailed Keith Olbermann at Countdown@msnbc.com and told him that his comments were hurtful and possibly deadly. I mean, as long as mainstream media figures and the rest of the world are going to frame trans people as the outliers of humanity, then it doesn't make much of a difference if they were to die, right? (h/t @lilithvf1998). Making a joke about someone's gender identity does this extremely well. I think he needs to make himself tonight's Worst Person in the World. And never make a trans joke again.

Take Action Monday

2010-02-15T12:40:00.005-05:00

Happy Presidents' Day! Many schools have off on Presidents' Day, which is a total wasted opportunity for kids to learn about presidents and other government whatnot. Oh, well.

Tell Toyota to stop lobbying against car safety.

Support early childhood education.

Demand an explanation from Anthem Blue Cross of increasing their health insurance premiums by over 30%.

Encourage international ambassadors to ratify the child soldiers treaty.

Reverse death sentences for Iranian activists.

Stop Uganda's kill the gays bill.

A New Funny Poll

2010-02-13T23:44:00.003-05:00

I haven't had a funny poll in a very, very long time. But it was Glenn Beck's birthday the other day, and this is my way of celebrating. In other words, I recognized the day by taking a few minutes to make fun of him. So . . . .

What do you think Glenn Beck wished for when blowing out the candles?

More chalk to illustrate his insane conspiracy theories
Fewer auditory hallucinations

You decide!

Take Action Monday

2010-02-08T11:13:00.005-05:00

So CBS ended up airing the Focus on the Family ads during the Super Bowl anyway. When I saw one of them on YouTube, I commented that Focus on the Family is an extreme right-wing hate group that works to roll back the rights of women and LBGTs, meager as they already are. A loser then replied saying this: "Focus on the Family is not an extreme right-wing hate group. They believe in the love of family - every member of the family - the pregnant and the preborn. 64% of all abortions are coerced making abortion the ultimate exploitation of women. Focus on the Family is there for the family, the pregnant, and the preborn. There is no hateful propaganda on their website only love and compassion." Anti-choicers say that darndest things, don't they?

Demand maternal healthcare in Burkina Faso. Five women died of pregnancy and childbirth-related deaths in Burikna Faso ALONE on the day CBS aired ads for Focus on a Family, an organization that supports women dying as long as it aligns with their political beliefs.

Stop the lying teabaggers.

Tell the CDC and NIH to include children in their HIV vaccine studies.

Sign to take genetically modified corn off the shelves.

Tell Congress to stop wasteful defense spending.

Call on President Obama to end nuclear weapon proliferation.

Support investing in women and families.

Tell Glenn Beck that you have a weird name, and you're an American.

Speak out against offshore oil drilling.

Urge the Census Bureau to count LBGT families too.

Protect our drinking water.

Take Action Monday

2010-02-01T14:42:00.007-05:00

Don't let big business buy our elections.

Help forgive Haiti's $1 billion debt.

Demand that the EPA test chemicals more thoroughly.

Support the Paycheck Fairness Act.

Tell Congress to fund education and job creation, not the war in Afghanistan.

Demand the truth about bank bonuses.

Urge President Obama to end nuclear weapons proliferation.

Tell the FDA to take GM corn off the shelves.

Stop the building of a military base in Okinawa that could disrupt marine life.

Tell CBS not to air anti-choice ad.

My Career Dreams are Officially Over!

2010-01-31T20:09:00.003-05:00

I found out that Russel Brand and Katy Perry are engaged, and being Katy Perry's husband was my career dream! *runs and cries*

Just kidding. My real career dream, as anyone could have guessed, was to become an Australian porn star. I'm not Australian, I've never been to Australia, and their many poisonous animals scare me. But I figured that Australians would appreciate my little boobies. I mean, they're on an island in the middle of nowhere. They should be happy with whatever boobies they can get.

That was until I read this article about Australia banning small breasts from adult films and publications. They're doing it because pedophiles might find it . . . (what's an Australian word?) . . . randy. Um, I think a pedophile knows the difference between a 5-year-old and a 25-year-old with small breasts. Damn Australia, ruining my dreams.

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

2010-01-26T10:58:00.002-05:00

I was sick yesterday, so I didn't get the chance to post any petitions. This may be the first time I've had two colds in a year since I was a little kid.

Demand that CBS pull an anti-choice Super Bowl ad.

Don't let Citizens United v. FEC happen again. The Supreme Court will hear a case that may allow billionaires to donate an unlimited amount of money to campaigns.

Support common-sense healthcare reform for women and families.

Make sure health insurance is made affordable to older Americans.

Demand quality early childhood education in your state.

Tell President Obama to close Guantanamo Bay prison.

End world hunger.

Help free a Tibetan filmmaker.

Demand an exit strategy in Afghanistan.

Help stop Uganda's anti-gay bill.

What Does "Trust Women" Mean to A Funny Feminist?

2010-01-22T22:18:00.003-05:00

I really love this year's Blog for Choice subject: What does "Trust Women" mean you? Meaning me. I love it because, in two little words, the entire foundation of reproductive rights, and feminism itself, is explained. "Trust Women" has more to do with more than just abortion rights; it has to do with all sexual health and rights to our own bodies.

I believe that all sexism is predicated on a distrust of women, and there's a long history of women's voices about their own bodies being dismissed. There was a time when women who complained to their doctors of menstrual cramps weren't believed. It wouldn't surprise me at all if some doctors still belittled the cramps that some women experience during their periods. And I can tell you from personal experience that there are men out there who don't see menstrual cramps as all that serious, even when they hurt like a bitch. That's because the patriarchy allows men to claim that women are emotional and overreacting, lest they actually care about women.

Women also aren't trusted when it comes to having sex. Whether women are saying they want to have sex or they don't want to have sex, it's all hogwash. The only one who really knows what the woman wants is the man who is intent on controlling her. We know this when men are told that "no means yes," and that women like rape. AskMen.com just listed rape as the third most common sexual fantasy of women. Except they describe the "rape" fantasy thusly:

Most psychologists believe this top 10 female sex fantasy allows a woman to have the wild, dirty sex she craves, without having to suffer the guilt that often follows. These female sex fantasies usually involve a gorgeous man carrying her off to his bedroom and quickly getting down to business. She’ll protest as he tears her clothing off and expertly arouses her body, but on the inside, she’ll love every minute of it. This continues to the point of penetration, and leads her to an incredible orgasm despite her earlier protests. This female sex fantasy allows a woman to be wanton and enjoy sex -- something society rarely permits.

Which means that some women like taboo sex, not rape. See how men turned that around to pretend that when women say no, you don't have to trust them, and men can just claim that he thought she liked being forced upon and assaulted? I mean, why ask if she'd actually like that -- it'll kill the fantasy! A similar phenomenon is the idea that women actually don't like sex. So when they say they do, they just have to learn that they're really just being conned by our crazy culture into thinking they want sex. Enter abstinence-only education. One goal for abstinence-only education is to deny young women knowledge about sexuality and validation to their own biological sexual urges. From a critique of the abstinence-only curriculum Sex Respect:

“[A] young man’s natural desire for sex is already strong due to testosterone, the powerful male growth hormone. Females are becoming culturally conditioned to fantasize about sex as well.” (Sex Respect, Student Workbook, p. 11) In a section dedicated to possible questions from students, the curriculum asks “but aren’t there many girls who really want to have sex, and so they pressure the guys?” The answer, “yes, there are. This is happening in larger numbers now than in years past, since the pop culture has removed the stigma from non-virgins and displays many role models of provocative women.” (Sex Respect, Student Workbook, p. 12)

There's nothing natural about a young woman's desire to have sex! It's all television's fault, which is why no one existed until a few decades ago. But abstinence-only education doesn't just tell young women that the tingly feelings they've felt in their nethers shouldn't be trusted. The Miss The Mess program teaches teens that certain young women who say they've been raped shouldn't be trusted either. In the part of the website that I linked to, there is a scenario where four friends are at a party together. A boy named Jason gets drunk after breaking up with his girlfriend, Monica. He meets a friend of his, Rochelle, to talk about it. After the sex act, Rochelle tells the police she's been raped. At the end of the story, students are asked if rape occurred:

“Unfortunately, we are left judging (Rochelle’s) honesty by her character and her actions"... “Monica implied Rochelle had a promiscuous reputation and the whole school seemed to know it.” (cite, I also have the original transcript in my e-mail for any who want it).

Because Rochelle might not have been a virgin (after all, the only evidence of this is a "friend's" rumor-mongering), she couldn't be trusted when she said she was raped. Of course, anyone who comes forward to report a rape must be trusted; they are also extremely brave. Only after a huge effort by the online feminist community did the website change the discussion portion.

But this day, which is almost over, is the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the landmark Supreme Court decision that gave women their bodies back. Since then, a ton of legislation has been passed or proposed to limit this legal procedure that 1 in 3 women will have done in their lifetime. Thirty-three states require women to go through counseling, and 20 states require a woman wait 24-hour before having an abortion. Some are told misinformation or outright lies about pregnancy and abortion before they can consent to the procedure. And still some states have the patronizing ultrasound law that requires women undergo an unnecessary ultrasound and be told "Thar's a baby on thar!" before going through the procedure. This is all because people believe that women don't know what they're doing when they seek an abortion. They also believe that women somehow floated to the clinic by some invisible force, rather than make a conscious decision after a great deal of thinking. They just plain don't trust women.

So for me, trusting women means taking what we say at face value. Women don't speak a foreign language that needs to be translated by men before we get to do anything. Well, maybe we say things nicer to you as to not to offend:

Because when we say "No," we mean, "HELL no!"

And when we say "Yes," we mean, "FUCK yeah!"

And when we say "I have cramps," we mean, "Uterus, get the FUCK out of my body!"

And when we say "I've been raped," we mean, "Some DICK just fucking raped me, and if you don't believe me, direct me to someone who gives a shit, pig."

And when we say "I'm calling to make an appointment for an abortion, " we mean, "Goddamn, I wish it was easier to raise a kid in this country/That fucking deadbeat/Do anti-choice protesters, like, have jobs? Or do they just harass women all day? Maybe they should take care of their kids instead of policing my pussy."

And when we say we like sex, we mean we do it best to ourselves. You don't know what a clitoris is, do you, dude?

And Scott Brown Couldn't Go 9 Minutes and 20 Seconds Without Saying Something Sexist & Creepy

2010-01-21T22:30:00.004-05:00

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

2010-01-19T12:36:00.004-05:00

Urge the IMF to forgive Haiti's $800+ million debt.

Thank President Obama for giving Temporary Protected Status to Haitians in America, and ask him to protect Haitians fleeing to America to escape the hurricane's devastating effects.

Tell credit card companies to stop taking a cut out of charged charitable donations.

Stop Ticketmaster's monopoly.

Tell financial institutions that you want your money back.

Ensure that healthcare insurance reform covers abortion.

Now That's a Sex Toy: Shake Weight

2010-01-18T23:24:00.002-05:00

If you can pinch your arm skin, you'll love this new sex toy.

Take Action Monday

2010-01-11T20:33:00.004-05:00

Support legislation to enact legislation that trains childcare workers.

Keep Texas from erasing Hispanics in textbooks.

Support real healthcare reform.

Protect the Caribou from extinction.

Send a message of support to Iranian activists.

Support early education.

Stop the Stupak Amendment from making it into healthcare reform.

The Funny & the Fucked Up

2010-01-09T23:13:00.004-05:00

The Funny:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Even Better Than the Real Thing

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

John Oliver of The Daily Show talks about the wonderful yesteryear of Christian White Dudes

The Fucked Up:

New Jersey legislators nix the gay marriage bill. It's the worst thing to happen to New Jersey since Snooki and The Situation.

A Little Bit of Both:

When talking about how great the GOP platform is to Sean Hannity (who I'm sure has no opinion on the matter at all), Michael Steele says "Honest Injun," which I don't think I've heard since like Kindergarten. God, Michael Steele. It's "word is bond." If you can't get the lingo right, how are any of your Republican friends going to remember that you're Black?

So Not Funny, David Letterman!

2010-01-09T21:23:00.004-05:00

This story is three days old, but transmisogyny is not, so I'm going to talk about this anyway. Late night talk show host David Letterman made a transphobic "joke" on his show the other night after telling his audience that President Obama appointed Amanda Simpson, a transgender woman, to be the Senior Technical Adviser to the Department of Commerce. Amanda Simpson is a super smart woman with three degrees, but that doesn't seem to matter because:

Letterman's announcer guy: What?! Amanda?! Amanda used to be a dude?! OH MY GOD!!!!! *runs away*

See, because it's funny that Letterman's announcer guy became disgusted at the thought of a trans person existing. Maybe he found Ms. Simpson attractive and now can't believe how stupid he was not to have seen what should have been so obvious. Now, I know Letterman didn't say the joke. He might not even have written the joke. But this is something that should have been canned before the taping of the show. So not funny, David Letterman!

WTF: Booty Pop

2010-01-05T19:04:00.003-05:00

I saw this commercial for Booty Pop panties while I was flipping through the channels yesterday. They're padded underwear to make it look like your butt is bigger than it is. Because I guess that's what women want now? That's news to me.

Take Action Monday

2009-12-28T20:57:00.002-05:00

Support legislation to provide emergency contraception to servicewomen.

Send a message of hope to refugees in Gaza and the West Bank.

Help bring water to Gaza residents.

End age discrimination in the workplace.

Urge President Obama and Congressional leaders to support real healthcare reform.

Support critical habitat designation for the remaining Beluga Whales.

Tell President Obama to keep his commitment to end world hunger.

Ponder on this for a Moment

2009-12-23T19:46:00.004-05:00

If anyone needs evidence that sexism exists, just look at the abortion compromise in the Senate healthcare bill. Basically, women who want abortion coverage will have to write two separate checks, one for their regular health insurance premium and another for their abortion coverage. I don't know how cumbersome writing the separate checks will be, but the fact that women have to go through that is ridiculous just on principle. No other healthcare coverage requires a rider like this. Furthermore, states will be allowed to keep insurance companies from covering abortion. This isn't new, but it's new to national healthcare legislation.

Okay, quiz time. Here are a couple of scenarios where someone would need healthcare.

Scenario 1: One day, someone drinks several alcoholic beverages, enough to be legally "under the influence." They get into a car and drive. They're speeding, going 60 mph in a 35 mph zone. They're not wearing a seat belt, and they're talking on their cell phone, both of which are illegal in their state. Then, they drive into a tree. Since they weren't wearing a seat belt, they sustained many injuries. The drinking, speeding, not wearing a seatbelt, and talking on the cell phone all contributed to this accident.

Scenario 2: One day, a woman has consensual sex with her boyfriend. Two weeks later, she finds out she is pregnant. She decides to have an abortion, for reasons that are none of your business.

Who's covered by health insurance? The person who became seriously injured because they engaged in four illegal behaviors at once? Or the woman who did absolutely nothing illegal, two of those things being biological phenomena (sex and pregnancy), one of which she really has no conscious control over (pregnancy)?

In the first scenario, the person who engaged in all of those illegal behaviors is covered by insurance. Furthermore, they do not have to purchase a rider to cover injuries sustained in the event that they drive drunk, speed, don't wear a seat belt, or drive while talking on the cell phone. (Keep in mind, the fines leveed on the person for doing all of that are probably more than your average first-trimester abortion would be). The fact that they've broken four laws in the process is not held against them. Nobody really cares that such people exist. Nobody is debating their rights on the floors of the House and Senate, in the media, or at the kitchen table. Nobody is worried that they're tax dollars will fund the treatment of such reckless and illegal behavior. They're given the benefit of the doubt, in addition to their treatment.

In the second scenario, the fact that she's a woman is held against her. The fact that she had sex with a man who is not her husband is held against her. The fact that she had sex without wanting a child is held against her. The fact that she is pregnant is held against her. The fact that she wants an abortion is held against her. Her rights are constantly being attacked by the people who are supposed to represent her, as well as people who care about her, and people who don't know her and are judged by them anyway. People are complaining that their tax dollars might go to providing her an abortion, because they think abortion is wrong, even though it's a completely made-up concern. Nobody gives her the benefit of the doubt, and nobody gives her treatment.

So to say that the Senate healthcare bill will treat women like criminals isn't exactly accurate. The coverage of criminals isn't being debated. Criminals will still get their healthcare.

WTF: Best Female Athletes

2009-12-22T17:21:00.002-05:00

Tennis star Serena Williams would be happy to know that she was voted Female Athlete of the Year by the Associated Press. Tennis star Kim Clijsters might not be so happy that she came in third. Why? Because this is who beat her.

Zenyatta! A fuckin' horse! The second best female athlete of the year!

Take Action Monday

2009-12-21T20:26:00.004-05:00

If you're still not done with your holiday shopping, please remember to by fair trade and/or American!

Support the regulation of greenhouse gases.

Protect communities from hazardous mining waste.

Urge President Obama to get some of the bank bailout money paid back.

Help bring clean water to Gaza residents.

Decry the anti-LGBT bill in Uganda.

Support microfinance.

Tell President Obama to make ending genocide a priority.

Support the Superfund Polluter Pays Act.

Demand that Walmart takes its dangerous toys off of the shelves.

A Feminist Christmas List

2009-12-21T10:48:00.002-05:00

Liz ODonnell from Care2 authored this cute feminist Christmas list. It has most of the stuff I'd want, although I'd prefer those D&G pumps in a 6 1/2 :)

Dear Santa:

I've been good all year. I worked hard even though I earned less than my male coworkers. Sure I called out when the kids got sick, but I checked my work email all day.

I took care of myself and got my yearly physical despite paying higher, gender-based premiums. I even managed to exercise 12 times.

I called my Senators and told them to vote no on Stupak-like anti-abortion amendments and yes on healthcare reform.

I voted in every election -- and for strong women candidates too.

I signed petitions to end human-trafficking, stop domestic violence and make rape kits more accessible.

I wore red for equal pay awareness, pink for breast cancer awareness and teal for ovarian cancer awareness (and I do NOT look good in teal.)

I stopped buying Isotoner products when the company fired a woman for pumping, drank only Diet Coke after Pepsi created a sexist app for the IPhone, and I won't let my husband wear Dockers anymore because of the company's ridiculous "Man-ifesto." (I guess I wear the pants in this house!)

Speaking of my house, I know it was a mess all year. But I read a study that said men are doing more housework than ever before, so I thought I could slack a little.

Santa, I think you will agree I deserve a few presents this year, so here is my Christmas wish list:

Healthcare reform that affords all women equal coverage for equal premiums and doesn't compromise women's reproductive rights

Passage of the Paycheck Fairness Act and equal pay for equal work

A strong slate of women candidates and women-friendly candidates for the 2010 elections

A critical mass of women CEOs, corporate directors, op-ed contributors and professors

Affordable child care

Paid sick days for all workers

An end to domestic violence, human trafficking and street harassment

Passage of the Justice for Survivors of Sexual Assault Act of 2009 to eliminate rape kit backlog

World peace

And, if you think I've been very good, a pair of Dolce & Gabbana patent pumps in rosa/geranio size 9.

Thanks Santa. Oh, and don’t forget to check my mantle when you stop by for some chocolate chip cookies (they're store-bought because, hey, I'm busy) and milk (soy of course).

Merry Christmas,

So Not Funny, Dennis Miller!

2009-12-19T22:49:00.004-05:00

I don't really have to put anything after that, because everyone knows that Dennis Miller is the shittiest comedian ever. But he did indeed make a sexist joke when he appeared on WWE RAW on Monday.

I am happy to be the host of the 2009 Slammy Awards. Very excited to be here. This is something I've always wanted to do. I cover politics on my radio show, and the similarities between politicians and the WWE are eerily similar. Now both have loud, obnoxious women with increasing power whose faces scare little children.

Then he showed a picture of some woman wrestler and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. What is it with conservative guys and making fun of powerful women's looks? Becoming Speaker of the House isn't the prize the Miss America winner gets, so nobody should give a shit what she looks like. And at least Speaker Pelosi has a face for C-SPAN. Miller has a face for radio, and material for the litter box that's so bad the crowd of homorepressed Texans couldn't even bring themselves to laugh at it. He couldn't even get a hoo-rah when he said "troops." Stick to what you're good at, Dennis: Jerking off on the toilet to the Washington Times op-eds.

Take Action Monday

2009-12-14T22:23:00.002-05:00

Nothing's funny anymore!

Say no to cutting Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid to balance the budget.

Pledge to oust Senators who try to filibuster healthcare reform.

Support the REAL Act.

Tell everyone you know about the benefits of microfinancing.

Help save the American Jaguar.

Tell Congress to vote no on any budget that sends more troops to Afghanistan.

Support the public option.

Take Action Monday

2009-12-07T19:54:00.004-05:00

Show everyone you know this video.

Protect polar bears from global warming.

Help stop violence in school.

End water pollution from mountaintop removal mining.

Urge President Obama to make fighting HIV/AIDS a priority.

Tell Congress not to fund the troop surge in Afghanistan.

WTF: Weird Trolling

2009-12-07T19:47:00.003-05:00

I think I mentioned before that I've been getting a lot of Russian spam comments on the old blog. Now, some Anonymous person is posting quotes from "Our Mutual Friend," a Charles Dickens novel. And they insert hyperlinks whenever "winter allergies" comes up. WTF?

Take Action Tuesday

2009-12-01T14:32:00.006-05:00

I am slowly but surely getting back to more normal schedule. I cannot wait for this semester to be over!

Today is World AIDS Day. Please have open and frank conversations with the people you care about regarding who is most affected by HIV/AIDS. Recognize that people considered disposable -- women, the poor, LGBTs, people with mental illness, people of color -- are the ones being killed by AIDS. Once the oppression stops, so will the spread of HIV.

Ensure that women's health is covered in healthcare reform.

Act now to stop the Stupak Amendment.

Support paid sick leave for workers sick with H1N1.

Target Women: Broadview Security

2009-11-30T11:15:00.001-05:00

I totally didn't want to wake up this morning. This makes me glad I did.

Take Action Friday

2009-11-27T18:49:00.005-05:00

Quick Take Action update before I celebrate my friends birthday.

Tell the House and Senate that abortion is healthcare.

Help protect seniors during these harsh economic times.

End the illegal dog meat trade.

Join the campaign to end preventable blindness.

Support 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence.

Tell the FDA to ban BPA.

Show your support for Medicare.

Urge the US to ban land mines.

Help ratify the Treaty for the Rights of Women

Too Funny for Words

2009-11-24T15:42:00.003-05:00

The people in the above video love Sarah Palin. Let them count the ways . . . .

1. "Oh, gee. Help me out here, guys!"

2. "I can't think of the policies right off the bat."

3. "I don't know. I guess I never really thought about it."

4. "I'm not really sure."

5. "I'm not really sure where you're going with that -- what issues . . . ?"

6. "Uh . . . ."

7. "To be honest with you, I don't know anything about her foreign policy."

8. "I don't know. Uh, I don't really have an answer. I don't know her well enough, her thinking. I don't know what she knows and doesn't know. I wouldn't know half the stuff that some people would ask me." [WHAT?]

The next part of the video showcases how little these particular supporters know about anything that's going on in the country. It's like they can only hold in two or three consecutive words at a time, and the rest of the English language falls out of their ears. So they can say "cap and trade," "slippery slope," "partial-birth abortion," etc., but they can't simply can't find the words to put around those phrases to express a coherent thought. I wonder if it's because the Republican talking heads on FOX News and Clear Channel that they watch -- wrapped in a Snuggie, head cocked to the side, cross-eyed, and drooling -- "defend" their opinions with the same vagueness. Kind of makes me wish that theirs were the votes that were lost in Ohio.

Take Action Finally

2009-11-20T12:53:00.006-05:00

Practicum teaching, school projects, work, oh my. I've been a busy, busy bee. And I've been getting a lot of comments on the old blog, but they've been from the same Anonymous Russian, so I can't read them . . . .

Today is International Transgender Day of Remembrance. Attend an event, e-mail your representatives, write a newspaper editorial. Make sure they're not forgotten.

Stop the Stupak Amendment from entering the Senate health reform bill. And send a coat hanger to the so-called "pro-choice" Democrats who voted for the amendment in the House. Virtual coat hangers, of course. Real ones wouldn't get past security.

Block attempts by the Chamber of Commerce to block healthcare reform.

Support early childhood education.

Tell the CEO of Goldman Sachs to help the workers of Stella D'Oro (or just do it for the cookies).

Urge President Obama to make fighting HIV in women and children a priority.

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

2009-11-11T20:27:00.003-05:00

Not that I'd want to be Lou Dobbs ever. Point is, Dobbs is out a job at CNN as of today. And guess which network he's moving to. I'll give you a hint: It's where all wing-nuts from CNN go to get even crazier.

Edit 11/14/09: I thought since Lou Dobbs met with Roger Ailes, Dobbs was moving to FOX News. But that hasn't been decided. He'll probably just go the Sarah Palin route and tweet all day long.

Take Action Monday

2009-11-09T11:25:00.000-05:00

Most of the petitions I received asked that we thank our Representatives for voting for the healthcare reform bill. But since it has the Stupak Amendment in it, I don't think I'll be doing that.

Tell President Obama to demand that reproductive rights be included in the final healthcare reform bill.

Urge the United Nations to make ending rape a top priority.

Ask your Representative to sign the Wolf-Capuano letter to President Obama regarding Sudan.

Protect polar bears from developers and global climate change.

Somewhere, A Woman is Walking Around Screaming, "WHERE'S MY BABY?!?!"

2009-11-08T21:22:00.002-05:00

Who says Republicans aren't classy? During Saturday's healthcare debate, Representative John Shadegg (R-AZ) exploited a child for political purposes by putting words in the mouths of a 7-month-old baby and her mother. Poor kid. Just move that mic away from the nasty man.

Take Action Monday on Wednesday

2009-11-04T21:16:00.007-05:00

I've been a real sucky blogger for at least the last week or so. My schedule has changed and I need to get used to the new routine. I have at least one thing I want to post about body image during the weekend, so you can at least look forward to that.

Urge your Representatives to reject any anti-choice amendments to health care reform.

Support legislation that provides nutritious meals for America's children.

Demand stronger car emissions standards from the EPA.

Tell Republicans to stop lying about health care reform.

Support a public health insurance option.

Tell the CDC that circumcision is not the answer to preventing STDs.

Target Women: Beauty Contraptions

2009-10-26T11:53:00.001-04:00

The latest funny Target Women from Sarah Haskins takes on all of those crazy beauty contraptions. But she forgot this one!

Take Action Monday

2009-10-26T11:33:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts, but I was sick allll week. Fortunately, I'm getting better, so I should be posting a bit more.

Tell your Representative and Senators that being a woman is not a pre-existing condition.

Support fair salaries and unionization at WalMart.

Tell President Obama to make Sudan a priority on his next trip to China.

Urge CNN to dump Dobbs. And tell Glenn Beck what you think of him too.

Tell Senate Majority Leader Reid to support a public health insurance option.

Protect wolves from slaughter.

Urge the Sri Lankan government to release detainees.

The Stupid. It Burns

2009-10-26T11:23:00.002-04:00

Bill Maher can add this startling statistic to his list of reasons why Americans are stupid.

The latest Pew poll on global warming shows a large drop in the percentage of Americans who say there is solid evidence that global temperatures are rising, from 71% down to only 57% in the last 18 months. And global warming due to human activity? The overall numbers have declined from 47% to 36%. To put this in perspective, a Gallup poll found that 37% of Americans believe that houses can be haunted. This contrast is particularly dramatic among conservatives: Only 18% of republicans believe that there is evidence of global warming caused by human activity, while 28% of conservatives believe in haunted houses.

The stupid. It burns.

Take Action Monday

2009-10-19T11:32:00.005-04:00

End water pollution from mountaintop removal mining.

Urge your Senators to cut abstinence-only education funding from healthcare reform.

Tell President Obama it's time to act on climate change, and to help save the whales.

Protest lobbyists for Sudanese president Bashir.

Oppose the Vitter-Bennett Senate Amendment 2644.

Tell Walmart to stop its suppliers Giumarra's unlawful behavior.

Urge President Obama to investigate the link between pesticides and Parkinson's.

WTF: Miscegenation Edition

2009-10-17T18:39:00.004-04:00

A pastor in Louisiana intentionally doesn't marry interracial couples, but there's one very important thing you need to know.

I'm not a racist . . . I have piles and piles of Black friends.

Gee, that's reassuring, I guess. What's this guy's deal? Does he think it's 1953? No, he uses the classic Helen Lovejoy "won't someone please think of the children" defense.

"There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage. I think those children suffer . . ."

True that. Just look at these unfortunate interracial misfits who were never accepted and amounted to nothing.

How cruel it would be to bring interracial children into the world when all they have to look forward to is becoming one of the most successful recording artists of all time, the highest paid athlete in professional sports, an Academy award winning actress, or President of the United States.

Take Action Monday

2009-10-12T11:35:00.006-04:00

Or buy them a discount mattress.

Urge your Senators to include immunosuppressive drug coverage in the health care bill.

Help protect the Florida Panther.

Tell the UN to appoint a special representative to hold countries involved in gender-based violence accountable. Tell the European and African Unions to do the same.

Support the Foreign Assistance Revitalization & Accountability Act of 2009.

Help the U.S. strengthen its toxic chemicals standards.

Stop the Ken Lewis (Bank of America) bailout.

Thank the workers who eliminate pollution.

Funny Videos (No Homo)

2009-10-10T13:11:00.005-04:00

Bryan Safi"s latest -- no homo -- on the no homo use (or maybe no homo overuse) of "no homo." It's like the new "you know what I'm sayin'?"

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton uses her diplomacy skills to resolve the Mayor Cory Booker/Conan O'Brien conflict.

Roman Polanski on To Catch a Predator. Not really, but at least we don't have to use our imaginations anymore.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

The Gay After Tomorrow

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Ron Paul Interview

Jon Stewart thinks President Obama should finally repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Maybe he will this weekend at the pride march in Washington, D.C.

Hey Hey It's Racism!

2009-10-09T00:46:00.006-04:00

On Hey Hey It's Saturday, which seems to be like an Australian version of The Gong Show, a group calling themselves The Jackson Jive performed a horrendous dance and singing routine -- in blackface. Mind you, the performance would have been horrendous without the blackface, but at least it wouldn't have been totally racist. Harry Connick, Jr. was one of the judges. He gave them a zero and later said that he wouldn't have done the show had known these jackasses would be on (in a more polite way, of course). As the Aussies might say, good on ya, Harry!