Latisse: For Women with Eyelash FAIL

When is having "inadequate or not enough eyelashes" a medical condition that should be treated with prescription drugs? When it's labeled hypotrichosis, a condition in which hair does not grow at all in places where it's supposed to. Eyelashes function as little brooms for our eyeballs that sweep away dust and dead skin cells. They also grant wishes*. That's why people with hypotrichosis need Latisse, a prescription liquid that people with this terrible affliction dab on their eyelids to make eyelashes grow where there were no eyelashes before.

Cue Brooke Shields. I bet you didn't even know that Brooke Shields never had eyelashes until about 16 weeks before the above commercial was filmed. That's because she uses Latisse, and also because she's always had eyelashes.

Now, there are diseases that cause people to not grow, (hypotrichosis), lose (alopecia), and pull out (trichotillomania) their hair, including their eyelashes. Hair loss is also a side effect of chemotherapy. This product could probably help people in those situations. But Latisse is not marketed that way. It's advertised as a cosmetic drug for women who are, apparently, supposed to feel insecure about their eyelashes. The company uses the term "hypotrichosis" and defines it so narrowly to only pertain to eyelashes that aren't long and thick enough (whatever that means), making eyelashes that don't conform to our society's beauty standards a disease. On top of all the other parts of our bodies we're supposed to hate (i.e., all of it), now we have to make a doctor's appointment to check the adequacy of our eyelashes. What the hell?



* Seriously, the company is donating $1 million to the Make a Wish Foundation.