In Defense of Jon Kyl

The big news this past weekend was the looming government shutdown that never was. While defending these riders, which were basically ideologically driven strips of funding for seriously controversial things like school lunch and NPR*, Jon Kyl proclaimed that more than 90% of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion.

Everybody goes to clinics, to doctors, to hospitals, so on. Some people go to Planned Parenthood. But you don't have to go to Planned Parenthood to get your cholesterol or your blood pressure checked**. If you want an abortion, you go to Planned Parenthood, and that's well over 90% of what Planned Parenthood does.

Except not. If I wanted an abortion and walked into any of the 6 Planned Parenthoods in my area, they'd send me somewhere else. Which is why I personally wouldn't go to Planned Parenthood for an abortion. See, well over 90% -- a full 97% -- of what Planned Parenthood does is not abortion-related. Abortion accounts for 3%. Jon Kyl explained that his statements were "not meant to be factual."

I don't think Jon Kyl has to explain himself at all. It's SO HARD to find information in this information age of ours. I mean, how many spare seconds do you think Senator Kyl has to do the following:

1. Google "Planned Parenthood."

2. Click on the first link.

3. Click the "About Us" drop-down menu.

4. Click "Annual Report."

5. Click on the picture in the middle of the page.

6. Scroll down to page 6.

7. Admire the colorful pie chart showing the percentage of services that Planned Parenthood provides.

That was a workout. Cancel your gym memberships, people! Looking for facts is seriously sweat-inducing exercise.

* This is a list of the riders in lay terms and in an easy-to-read chart. Here is the full H.R. 1 bill.

** Unless you're poor and have no health insurance. It's a good thing Planned Parenthood provides these services.

EXCLUSIVE: Interview with an Embryo

Big news, people. An actual 9-week old embryo will "testify" in an Ohio court during hearings for a bill that would ban all abortions after a heartbeat can be detected.

“For the first time in a committee hearing, legislators will be able to see and hear the beating heart of a baby in the womb–just like the ones the Heartbeat Bill will protect,” said Janet (Folger) Porter, President of Faith2Action, and former Legislative Director of Ohio Right to Life, where she helped pass the nation’s first ban on Partial Birth Abortion.

Two in-utero babies will appear live before the committee by an ultrasound projector which is able to not only show that baby’s moving arms and legs, but also display–in color–the baby’s beating heart. “When passed, the Heartbeat Bill will insure that once that heartbeat is detected, the baby is protected,” added Porter.

Pretty big scoop, right? WRONG! Only I have the exclusive interview with an 8-week old embryo. And yes, I got permission from the pregnant lady that the embryo is inside of. Don't know if I can say the same for Ms. Porter.

Me: Hey, embryo. How's it going.

Embryo: Meh. Mommy threw up like 5 times today. Sometimes I understand how much physical pain I cause her, but that's my food too that she's puking.

Me: Yeah, it's hard out there for an embryo.

Embryo: You mean IN there.

Me: Sure. I wanted to ask you about this Heartbeat Bill in Ohio.

Embryo: Huh?

Me: You know, the one that could ban abortion once a heartbeat of the embryo is detected.

Embryo: Didn't hear about that one. Does it matter that the pregnant woman has a heartbeat?

Me: No, her heartbeat doesn't matter. She'd be forced to continue the pregnancy and give birth.

Embryo: It kind of seems unfair that my heartbeat counts so much more than my mother's.

Me: Tell me more.

Embryo: I mean, if the people for this Heartbeat Bill would treat my mommy like that, you know, give her no significance at all, how would they treat me once I'm born?

Me: I have some experience being outside the womb, and anti-choicers don't treat women very nicely. They call them sluts and whores and put guilt trips on them when they're raped. And they don't just hate pregnant women. They hate women who choose not to get pregnant or can't get pregnant, whether they're straight, lesbian, or transgender. What do you think about that?

Embryo: That's a terrible world. I don't know what kind of person I'd be. But it seems like I have a great chance of becoming the kind of person that these pro-lifers would care about at all. They seem to like me now, but once I'm born, they'd rather me be dead, unless I become their perfect vision of a person.

Me: Is that possible?

Embryo: My mommy's an Atheist. And my daddy's a gay sperm donor majoring in Africana Studies.

[We laugh -- hard]

Embryo: Seriously, though. I thought it was hard being an embryo. It's a lot harder to be a person, especially if you're not male, cis, Christian, heterosexual, White, able-bodied, and rich.

Me: Would you rather be aborted?

Embryo: That's all up to my intelligent, responsible, autonomous mommy.

Take Action Today

I missed my blog's 2nd birthday, which I believe was on the 9th. Am I entering the terrible twos?

Tell President Obama to reinstate abortion coverage in high risk pools.

Urge your Senators to pass a clean energy bill.

Support the DREAM Act.

Tell your Representative to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

Praising Gogol Bordello's Decision to Boycott Arizona

Earlier this week, the gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello announced on their Facebook page that they would not be playing any concerts in Arizona because of their racist immigration law, S.B. 1070. I am one of the over 600 people who "liked" their status, but the comments left on their Facebook page were a mixture of praise and whining (you probably need a Facebook account to see the comments, but I assure you the following comments are accurate. I'm not going to post names). Some people felt they were being "screwed over."

You guys aren't helping. All you're doing is stiffing the local promoters and the fans, which in turn just hurts us(not to mention our screwed local economy) instead of helping the cause. Screwing us over won't overturn a law we had no say in. That's not fair.

Here's a white guy in Arizona claiming he didn't have a vote! See, because that's what a representative government is. The citizens vote for representatives and the governor and urge them to vote and sign legislation to your liking. And if you didn't do that, then sucks to be an Arizonan, huh? But you know what's really unfair? Getting locked in a detention center because you have brown skin.

Here's someone with some sense:

If you live in AZ and it makes you sad, then make some noise and get SB1070 OVERTURNED so people aren't afraid to travel to your state.

Precisely, because if there ever was a band so conspicuous in style of music and attire, it's Gogol Bordello.

Every single one of these folks would be stopped and asked for their papers because of their strange clothes and shoes (6:06), not to mention accents. But one comment got me particularly perturbed:

I though[t] Gogol would be behind this. Seeing as how you and your family did everything legally and took the time and effort to do so. if i was an immigrant i would be very angry at illegal immigration. it would feel like a slap in my face, "oh you did it legally like responsible people? well screw you i am more important than you and i don't have the time to wait to do the paperwork."

The last part I get, the part about people not having the time to do the paperwork before they get out of their home country. And one of those people is Eugene Hutz, lead singer of the band (he's the one in the front of the photo with the fire bucket), and his family. They left Ukraine after the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. Talk about not having time to wait to do the paperwork, when you're running away from a mushroom cloud. They spent in refugee camps in three different countries before finally settling in Vermont. Eugene and his family are among the lucky immigrants who survived a nuclear explosion and refugee life.

Many immigrants don't have those resources. They escape war, systemic rape, genocide, and more to come to the United States and other stable nations for a better life. Many of these immigrants are denied asylum and are desperate to come to the country under any means necessary. So I'm pretty sure Eugene Hutz is empathetic to the plights of immigrants who are trying to escape turmoil in pursuit of happiness. If only that were guaranteed in some long-standing American document.

Because I love Gogol Bordello's music and the fact that they are boycotting Arizona until they overturn this ridiculously racist law, I'm going to update my above playlist with some of my favorite songs of theirs. Unfortunately, playlist.com doesn't have much from Trans-Continental Hustle. Enjoy anyway!

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

Last Monday, I played New York City tour guide to a family from Arizona. All I have to say is, Bill Maher was right.

Support clean energy legislation.

Tell BP to provide respirators to clean-up workers.

Tell BP to stop burning endangered sea turtles alive.

Help to repeal the ban on privately-funded abortion in the military.

Tell Congress to make ending violence against women a priority.

Protect whales from hunting.

Support full funding for public media.

Keep important reproductive decisions between patients and doctors, not legislators.

Pledge to be an advocate for immigrants.

Support healthcare coverage of immunosuppressive drugs.

Take Action Monday

I was going to post these petitions earlier, but I saw El Secreto de sus Ojos (The Secret in their Eyes), the Argentinean film that won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film a few months back. There were a surprising number of senior citizens there. The movie is amazing, and knowing that a bunch of old people ditched their stupid families to go see it made it even sweeter.

Support Secretary Salazar's plan for increasing renewable energy sources and energy efficiency.

Preserve the International Affairs Budget.

Tell FOX to fire racist contributor John Stossel.

Support Alan Grayson's (D-FL) The War is Making You Poor Act.

Repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Reject the Texas Textbook Massacre.

Strip BP of all federal contracts.

Take Action Monday

Tell Massey shareholders to fire CEO Don Blankenship.

Speak out against outsourcing.

Stop subsidies for dirty energy.

Make climate legislation a top priority.

Keep suspected terrorists from buying firearms.

Tell Facebook that you want to keep your personal information private.

Ban new offshore drilling.

Urge Congress to fix Medicare.

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

So healthcare reform finally passed. I wouldn't call it a good or a bad bill. If I assigned a student an essay on how to reform the healthcare system and they gave me the major reforms in this bill, I would give them an Incomplete or Needs Improvement. We are not done, but we do not need to start over. We need to add more protections. We need to make sure that Medicaid and Medicare recipients aren't denied care because doctors don't get reimbursed enough. We need to make sure that people aren't denied treatment because it's experimental. The Representatives should be thanked for passing this legislation, but we must demand that they fight for more reform.

Say no to Jewish settlements in Palestine.

Urge Republican leadership to condemn the bigotry in their supporters.

Tell the Democratic Party to stop supporting anti-choice Democrats' campaigns.

Support the Fair Elections Now Act.

End the crack/cocaine sentencing disparity.

Take Action Monday

Don't let big business buy our elections.

Help forgive Haiti's $1 billion debt.

Demand that the EPA test chemicals more thoroughly.

Support the Paycheck Fairness Act.

Tell Congress to fund education and job creation, not the war in Afghanistan.

Demand the truth about bank bonuses.

Urge President Obama to end nuclear weapons proliferation.

Tell the FDA to take GM corn off the shelves.

Stop the building of a military base in Okinawa that could disrupt marine life.

Tell CBS not to air anti-choice ad.

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

I was sick yesterday, so I didn't get the chance to post any petitions. This may be the first time I've had two colds in a year since I was a little kid.

Demand that CBS pull an anti-choice Super Bowl ad.

Don't let Citizens United v. FEC happen again. The Supreme Court will hear a case that may allow billionaires to donate an unlimited amount of money to campaigns.

Support common-sense healthcare reform for women and families.

Make sure health insurance is made affordable to older Americans.

Demand quality early childhood education in your state.

Tell President Obama to close Guantanamo Bay prison.

End world hunger.

Help free a Tibetan filmmaker.

Demand an exit strategy in Afghanistan.

Help stop Uganda's anti-gay bill.

Take Action Monday

Support legislation to enact legislation that trains childcare workers.

Keep Texas from erasing Hispanics in textbooks.

Support real healthcare reform.

Protect the Caribou from extinction.

Send a message of support to Iranian activists.

Support early education.

Stop the Stupak Amendment from making it into healthcare reform.

Take Action Monday

Support legislation to provide emergency contraception to servicewomen.

Send a message of hope to refugees in Gaza and the West Bank.

Help bring water to Gaza residents.

End age discrimination in the workplace.

Urge President Obama and Congressional leaders to support real healthcare reform.

Support critical habitat designation for the remaining Beluga Whales.

Tell President Obama to keep his commitment to end world hunger.

Take Action Monday on Wednesday

I've been a real sucky blogger for at least the last week or so. My schedule has changed and I need to get used to the new routine. I have at least one thing I want to post about body image during the weekend, so you can at least look forward to that.

Urge your Representatives to reject any anti-choice amendments to health care reform.

Support legislation that provides nutritious meals for America's children.

Demand stronger car emissions standards from the EPA.

Tell Republicans to stop lying about health care reform.

Support a public health insurance option.

Tell the CDC that circumcision is not the answer to preventing STDs.

Take Action Monday

Before I link to the petitions, I have to plug the new poetry book By Way Of from Toadlily Press. My BFF Diana Alvarez wrote a chapter for it, and she's a very talented poet. She's definitely the best, and I say that completely objectively.

Tell President Obama and Congress that we need a smart exit strategy from Afghanistan.

Keep fighting for a public health insurance option.

Nominate or vote for your favorite change maker.

Support the REAL Act.

Urge your Senators to support early breast cancer detection.

Demand strong clean car standards.

Stand up for farm workers.

Urge Sierra Leone's government to make maternal health a priority.

Take Action Monday

Since Tom Felton started following me on Twitter a few days ago, I have about 15 new followers. I'd like to think the recent influx of followers is because of the feminism, but I won't kid myself.

Urge President Obama to sign the UN Convention on the Rights of Child. The United States and Somalia are the only two countries who haven't signed it.

Tell Congress to close the Part D "doughnut hole" that limits prescription drug coverage for seniors.

Help restore fair wages and government oversight for guest farm workers.

Send pictures of your little ones to Senator Kyl, and let him know that maternity care is important for all.

Protect our drinking water supply from pollution.

Thank Speaker Pelosi for standing up for a public health insurance option.

Support the Internet Freedom Preservation Act of 2009.

Urge your Senators to pass legislation to protect our national parks.

Ask your Senators to co-sponsor the JUSTICE Act.

Support the Roadless Area Conservation Rule

Thank Michelle Obama for standing up for women and children in her recent health care reform speech.

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

Busy birthday weekend, busy day yesterday with school and work -- no time to update!

Fight to end hunger in America.

End healthcare discrimination based on pre-existing medical conditions.

Tell your Senators that now is the time for healthcare reform, but not the Baucus bill.

Help repeal the Defense of Marriage Act.

Protect America's mountains.

Thank UN peacekeepers.

Support the Clean Coastal Environment and Public Health Act of 2009.

Protect reproductive rights in healthcare reform.

Take Action Monday

Happy Labor/Labour (Canada) Day!

Urge your Senators to pass a clean energy bill.

Support freeing sex trafficking victim from a life sentence without parole.

Help end discriminatory health insurance practices.

Support a public health insurance option.

Tell Secretary of State Clinton to help restore democracy and accountability for human rights abuses in Honduras.

Support humanitarian aid in Sudan.

Take Action Monday

Saturday was the fourth anniversary of Hurricane Katrina. Support the Gulf Coast Civic Works Act.

Tell President Obama to sign an international treaty to reverse global warming.

Urge President Obama to include eradicating malaria, health protection, microfinance, and education to any foreign aid bill.

Sign this online card for Sen. Ted Kennedy's family.

Help ratify CEDAW.

Take Action Monday

Prohibit mining in the Grand Canyon, and development in the Rocky Mountains.

Help pass the trans inclusive Employee Non-Discrimination Act.

Urge the Sri Lankan government to free displaced civilians.

Thank Dr. Carhart for providing late-term abortion services for women in need.

Tell Ruby Ridge's owners that threatening workers who want to organize with gun violence is wrong.

Save the Bluefin Tuna from wasteful fishing practices.

Support the Protect US Citizens and Residents from Unlawful Detention Act and the Strong STANDARDS Act.

Help free political prisoner Aung San Suu Kyi.

Take Action Monday

Tell Congress to draft a healthcare plan that works for people with chronic diseases.

Call on advertisers to stop sponsoring Glenn Beck's racist television and radio shows.

Show Homeland Security Secretary Napolitano that you want real immigration reform.

Tell your Congressperson to support a public healthcare option.

Urge your Senators to confirm Judge Sotomayor to the Supreme Court.

Thank Secretary of State Clinton for her dedication to women's rights.

Tell CNN that you want Lou Dobbs off the air. I know I do.

Demand accountability for the crimes committed at Guantanamo Bay.

Urge Senators Baucus, Bingaman, Conrad, Enzi, Grassley, and Snowe to give back money donated to them by health insurance and pharmaceutical companies.