So Not Funny, George Lopez!

I get most of my feminist news from the mainstream feminist blogosphere, which likes to throw its trans news of the day in a little daily wrap-up, if at all. So I sincerely apologize for neglecting to get my feminist news from a place that's friendly to issues facing trans people. I will do better from now on. Being out of the loop in that regard is much worse than being out of the loop when it comes to Dancing with the Stars and Lopez Tonight. George Lopez is a guy that I never found funny. He probably doesn't think he's that funny either, since he tells transphobic jokes, the final resort in getting a cheap laugh. Last week, after the premiere of DWTS, he unleashed his fat hate and transmisogyny with this sorry excuse for a joke:

(At about 1:20) Finally my favorite male and female dancer of the season. Up first the male (he shows a clip of Wendy Williams' performance). It wasn't really her dancing that caught my attention, check this out. (he shows a clip of Wendy crying during dance practice). The last time she cried that hard was when she was on Maury and she heard Wendy Williams you are the father.

And then he called Kirstie Alley a pig, but he spared her her gender identity. George Lopez: A real revolutionary.

Alright, first of all, Wendy Williams is the bomb, okay? She's a Jersey girl, and she's really successful. She seems like a down-to-Earth woman, and she's one of three people I sort of pseudo-stalk when I hang out in Montclair (the other two are Stephen Colbert and baseball legend Yogi Berra). Most importantly, this "joke" doesn't hurt Wendy as much as it hurts trans women, particularly trans women of color, which make up about 100% of the trans people who are murdered each year. People have to learn that insulting someone by calling them trans isn't funny and leads to violence. It's a way of delegitimizing someone's being. And it needs to end like forever ago.

Not that you ever were funny to begin with. But, George Lopez, this is so not funny!

How Exactly Does God Punish a "Fag Enabler?"

That's "Your Majesty Fag Enabler" to you, Westboro Baptist Church.

Elizabeth Taylor died yesterday of congestive heart failure. She is, of course, most well-known for her acting career and for being an anti-AIDS activist. But seriously, who's against AIDS? The Westboro Baptist Church! So they're planning on protesting Ms. Taylor's funeral. They're famous for being utterly insane and protesting outside of the funerals of fallen soldiers, claiming that those deaths are God's punishment for America's tolerance of gay people. What tolerance? Exactly. Clearly, Westboro Baptist Church believes that Elizabeth Taylor has been punished by God for supporting anti-AIDS initiatives. How so? Let me list the ways:

1. A successful acting career spanning 7 decades.

2. Five Academy Award nominations and 2 Best Actress Oscars.

3. The most beautiful violet eyes that anyone has ever or would ever see.

4. Four children, 10 grandchildren, and 4 great-grandchildren.

5. Legions of devoted fans that loved her until her death at age 79.

6. Seventy-nine years of living!

Yes, you'd think if God hated her so much for funding AIDS research, he would've snuffed her out a long time ago. But no. 79 years. Millions of dollars. Big family. 2 Oscars. Beauty. When will God punish ME???

Anti-Feminist Dating Service: Mel Gibson

Guess who's back on the market? Mel Gibson! Yeah! Mel Gibson the movie star! And, I assume, future Just For Men spokesman! And I just can't believe that anybody would let this guy get away, because he really knows how to make a gal feel special. Here's Mel pitching woo to his lady, who just doesn't seem to appreciate his colorful imagination.

You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault.

Poetry. The only thing that would make this hotter is if instead of just wishing rape on a potential mate, he'd quit beating around the bush and threaten to rape her himself.

I am going to come and burn the house down, but you will blow me first.

That's the spot. And now that's he's under investigation for domestic violence, I'm sure his phone will be very busy. So if you're a lady lawyer, Mel could be verbally assaulting you in no time.

Praising Gogol Bordello's Decision to Boycott Arizona

Earlier this week, the gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello announced on their Facebook page that they would not be playing any concerts in Arizona because of their racist immigration law, S.B. 1070. I am one of the over 600 people who "liked" their status, but the comments left on their Facebook page were a mixture of praise and whining (you probably need a Facebook account to see the comments, but I assure you the following comments are accurate. I'm not going to post names). Some people felt they were being "screwed over."

You guys aren't helping. All you're doing is stiffing the local promoters and the fans, which in turn just hurts us(not to mention our screwed local economy) instead of helping the cause. Screwing us over won't overturn a law we had no say in. That's not fair.

Here's a white guy in Arizona claiming he didn't have a vote! See, because that's what a representative government is. The citizens vote for representatives and the governor and urge them to vote and sign legislation to your liking. And if you didn't do that, then sucks to be an Arizonan, huh? But you know what's really unfair? Getting locked in a detention center because you have brown skin.

Here's someone with some sense:

If you live in AZ and it makes you sad, then make some noise and get SB1070 OVERTURNED so people aren't afraid to travel to your state.

Precisely, because if there ever was a band so conspicuous in style of music and attire, it's Gogol Bordello.

Every single one of these folks would be stopped and asked for their papers because of their strange clothes and shoes (6:06), not to mention accents. But one comment got me particularly perturbed:

I though[t] Gogol would be behind this. Seeing as how you and your family did everything legally and took the time and effort to do so. if i was an immigrant i would be very angry at illegal immigration. it would feel like a slap in my face, "oh you did it legally like responsible people? well screw you i am more important than you and i don't have the time to wait to do the paperwork."

The last part I get, the part about people not having the time to do the paperwork before they get out of their home country. And one of those people is Eugene Hutz, lead singer of the band (he's the one in the front of the photo with the fire bucket), and his family. They left Ukraine after the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. Talk about not having time to wait to do the paperwork, when you're running away from a mushroom cloud. They spent in refugee camps in three different countries before finally settling in Vermont. Eugene and his family are among the lucky immigrants who survived a nuclear explosion and refugee life.

Many immigrants don't have those resources. They escape war, systemic rape, genocide, and more to come to the United States and other stable nations for a better life. Many of these immigrants are denied asylum and are desperate to come to the country under any means necessary. So I'm pretty sure Eugene Hutz is empathetic to the plights of immigrants who are trying to escape turmoil in pursuit of happiness. If only that were guaranteed in some long-standing American document.

Because I love Gogol Bordello's music and the fact that they are boycotting Arizona until they overturn this ridiculously racist law, I'm going to update my above playlist with some of my favorite songs of theirs. Unfortunately, playlist.com doesn't have much from Trans-Continental Hustle. Enjoy anyway!

So Not Funny, Family Guy!

I never watch Family Guy, because I think it's stupid and unfunny. When I found out that Quagmire's dad was going to come out as transgender, I figured I'd boycott the episode. But I decided that I'd rather watch it and become offended. As a cis woman who will never have to endure the harassment, assault, murder, and everything in between that trans women suffer every day, it was the least I could do.

So after a handful of gay jokes, Quagmire's dad comes out as "a woman trapped in a man's body" and decides to have a sex change operation. When Quagmire goes to Peter and Lois for comfort, they can't seem to tell the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. After some banter, Lois concludes that they should all agree that Quagmire's dad is "odd." While at the hospital with Quagmire, Peter calls Quagmire's dad "it" and a "he/she." After Quagmire's dad, now Ida, reveals the results of the operation, Peter gives her the thumbs-up. Trans women don't need cis men's approval to make sure that they're sufficiently womanly, even in a cartoon. Later, Ida is invited to dinner at the Griffin's where transmisogynist jokes and comments are hurled both at Ida and daughter Meg. After the dinner, Ida and Quagmire get into an argument, so Ida goes to a bar for some drinks. She meets the Griffins' dog, Brian, and they end up having sex. You know, because trans women are into beastiality. Brian tells the Griffins that he's met a wonderful woman, and everyone thinks it's hilarious when they find out Brian's love interest is Ida. Stewie is the last person Brian tells about his wonderful new lady friend, and Stewie tells Brian about Quagmire's dad. They have a good laugh about it, calling her an "it" several times, questioning the validity of trans women's relationships, and defining her private parts as "a train wreck." When Brian finds out that he had sex with Ida, Quagmire's father, he vomits for like 30 seconds.

This list of transmisogynist "jokes" is by no means exhaustive. That was just from memory. There were probably a lot more hateful jokes in there. But don't take my word for it! Watch the whole episode!

Pretty much every transmisogyinst stereotype was incorporated in this episode. Except for Ida becoming a prostitute. How did Seth MacFarlane miss that one? Now, many people will tell me, "It's Family Guy! What do you expect?" "They offend everyone eventually!" "It's called being edgy! Get a sense of humor!" If Family Guy was that edgy, they would have made a pro-trans episode. Hell, they didn't even use the words "trans," "transgender," or "trans woman" in the entire episode. Instead, they rolled out all the anti-trans woman stereotypes and put them in one episode. These jokes are offensive and contribute to the death of trans women. When someone calls a trans woman a "he/she" or an "it" or question the legitimacy of her body parts and romantic relationships, they are dehumanizing trans women, and that is tantamount to advocating for their demise.

Yeah, so not funny, Family Guy.

Take Action Monday

Make Sarah Palin's dream come true -- tell media conglomerate Discovery Communications to pull her special. Democracy will thank you.

Corn's for eatin', not for burnin'. Say no to more ethanol subsidies.

Help Katrina survivors rebuild.

Tell the EPA to take toxic chemicals off the market.

Thank Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens for his commitment to upholding the Constitution.

Juiz Baize, Constance McMillen, and every LGBTQ student deserve equal access to education. Support the Student Non-Discrimination Act.

Demand that Congress sign the Protecting America's Workers Act.

The Funny & the Fucked Up

The Funny:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Even Better Than the Real Thing
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

John Oliver of The Daily Show talks about the wonderful yesteryear of Christian White Dudes

The Fucked Up:

New Jersey legislators nix the gay marriage bill. It's the worst thing to happen to New Jersey since Snooki and The Situation.

A Little Bit of Both:

When talking about how great the GOP platform is to Sean Hannity (who I'm sure has no opinion on the matter at all), Michael Steele says "Honest Injun," which I don't think I've heard since like Kindergarten. God, Michael Steele. It's "word is bond." If you can't get the lingo right, how are any of your Republican friends going to remember that you're Black?

So Not Funny, David Letterman!

This story is three days old, but transmisogyny is not, so I'm going to talk about this anyway. Late night talk show host David Letterman made a transphobic "joke" on his show the other night after telling his audience that President Obama appointed Amanda Simpson, a transgender woman, to be the Senior Technical Adviser to the Department of Commerce. Amanda Simpson is a super smart woman with three degrees, but that doesn't seem to matter because:

Letterman's announcer guy: What?! Amanda?! Amanda used to be a dude?! OH MY GOD!!!!! *runs away*

See, because it's funny that Letterman's announcer guy became disgusted at the thought of a trans person existing. Maybe he found Ms. Simpson attractive and now can't believe how stupid he was not to have seen what should have been so obvious. Now, I know Letterman didn't say the joke. He might not even have written the joke. But this is something that should have been canned before the taping of the show. So not funny, David Letterman!

Funny Videos (No Homo)

Bryan Safi"s latest -- no homo -- on the no homo use (or maybe no homo overuse) of "no homo." It's like the new "you know what I'm sayin'?"



Secretary of State Hillary Clinton uses her diplomacy skills to resolve the Mayor Cory Booker/Conan O'Brien conflict.



Roman Polanski on To Catch a Predator. Not really, but at least we don't have to use our imaginations anymore.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Gay After Tomorrow
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Ron Paul Interview

Jon Stewart thinks President Obama should finally repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Maybe he will this weekend at the pride march in Washington, D.C.

Hey Hey It's Racism!

On Hey Hey It's Saturday, which seems to be like an Australian version of The Gong Show, a group calling themselves The Jackson Jive performed a horrendous dance and singing routine -- in blackface. Mind you, the performance would have been horrendous without the blackface, but at least it wouldn't have been totally racist. Harry Connick, Jr. was one of the judges. He gave them a zero and later said that he wouldn't have done the show had known these jackasses would be on (in a more polite way, of course). As the Aussies might say, good on ya, Harry!

Colbert Urges Us to Send Our Medical Bills to Max Baucus

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Send Your Medical Bills to Max Baucus
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Michael Moore

Stephen Colbert gave his viewers a great idea to show our outrage over the public option failing to pass.

Send Max Baucus your healthcare bill. All of them. Believe me, believe me, folks, he's good for it. In the last five years, Baucus has gotten $3.2 million from the healthcare industry. So, Nation, if you've been denied coverage by a health insurance company, just send your unpaid medical bills to: Max Baucus' Huge Pile of Money, Washington, D.C. Not sure if you qualify? Just call his office and ask to speak to the eligibility agent. I believe his name is . . . Max.

His D.C. real address is:

511 Hart Senate Office Building

Washington, D.C. 20510.

Maybe he'll read your bills. I doubt they'll be 1,000 pages.

Latest from Bryan Safi & Sarah Haskins

Bryan Safi outlines the many ways of coming out, brought to you by every television show ever.



Sarah Haskins explains why back to school is, like, totes awesome.

So Not Funny, Russell Brand!

The big story about MTV's Video Music Awards Sunday night was the Kanye West/Taylor Swift affair. The event that isn't getting much play is Russel Brand's rape joke that he made against Megan Fox:

“She has admitted she is a little bit cuckoo upstairs and I have trained in psychiatry. So Megan, if you do have a little dizzy spell love, I could probably drop you a little pill. You can go and have a lie down in my dressing room. You might get some crazy dreams about being visited by a scarecrow, a perfumed weirdo leaning over you. But let me tell you, that’s a common side-effect. Megan, take your medicine.”

Rape isn't funny, and joking about it is even less funny. And if that's not bad enough, he made a joke about the rumors regarding Lady Gaga's sex. I couldn't find a direct quote of what he said first, but here's my rough summary of it. He said that the rumors about Lady Gaga's sex were sexist; people thought that because of her comfort with her strong sexual expression, she must really be a guy. Good on you, Russell Brand, for calling it how it is. Oh, wait, this is still Russell Brand we're talking about, so he had to say something disgusting.

“And if I pull her leotard to one side and find something a little extra there, I will just make it stiff and hang my hat on it.”

Ugh. Either put the rumors to bed, or don't discuss them at all. Don't send mixed messages about them. What does he expect the audience to think now? Even though Brand correctly stated that the rumors were sexist, he reignited them by saying they might be true. That damages Lady Gaga and the entire intersex population (and the thought to be intersex population).

Joking about rape and delicate sexuality issues -- so not funny, Russell Brand.

The Funny & the Fucked Up

The Funny:


The latest from Bryan Safi shows us that teh gay, despite what the religious wrong seems to think, actually makes everything all better.



A Tonight Show sketch about Sweden's tax-payer supported feminist porn film.

The Fucked Up:

Another "family values" Republican resigns after bragging about his affair -- while his mic was on. He said, "She wears little eye-patch underwear. So, the other day she came here with her underwear, Thursday. And
 so, we had made love Wednesday--a lot! And so she'll, she's all, 'I am going 
up and down the stairs, and you're dripping out of me!' So messy!" You kiss your mistress with that mouth? Ewwwwwwww.

Funny Stuff

I wish I had more funny stuff to post, since we could all use a little laughter.

The Soup shows us a sneak peek of the "fat reality show" line-up.



Sarah Haskins discovers Brooke Shields is good at selling stupid shit. Well, she endorses a lot of stupid shit.

That's Gay: Lady Kisses

Bryan Safi's latest That's Gay explores the "lez pretending" in prime time sitcoms and dramas.

So Not Funny, Conan O'Brien

The image above comes from an episode of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien that aired last week. I was very offended by it, but didn't get a chance to write about it. Luckily, Renee at Womanist Musings did and found the offensive picture.

Basically, Conan O'Brien has this running gag called "Conan's Tabloid Moment" where he decides to stage a scandalous scene, take a picture of it, and sell it to the tabloids. At first, he pretends he's at a strip club. Then, he decides that the situation would be worse if he's drunk. What could possibly make that scene any worse? If the strippers were "trannies" of course! Because viewing cis women as sex objects isn't sickening, but if they're trans women . . . . And the way the cis women strippers become trans is by slapping a Keith Hernandez mustache on their faces. It's not that simple, Conan, and it's so not funny.

Conan has played around with gender on his show. A running joke of his is the fact that he looks a lot like Oscar-winning actress Tilda Swinton. A few years back, Conan enjoyed fame in Finland, and he attributed it to his resemblance to their president, Tarja Halonen. With both jokes, Conan made sure the joke was on him. He wasn't saying that Swinton and President Halonen looked like men, but that his red hair, pale complexion, and thin physique made him look like those women. He seems to be quite comfortable with his appearance, at least enough to talk about it and make fun of himself. But not everyone is as comfortable with the body they were born into. Trans people aren't afforded the privilege to feel comfortable in their own skin and be accepted as they are. That oppression shouldn't be exploited for cheap laughs.

The Funny & the Fucked Up

The Funny:



The latest from Sarah Haskins. I hate those doofy husband commercials too. Playing dumb is total male privilege!



William Shatner reads former Governor Palin's resignation speech. Poetry!

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - He Who Smelt It, Dealt It
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Tasers

Stephen Colbert compares racism to farts, with hilarious results.

The Fucked Up:

Governor Schwarzenegger cuts ALL funding from domestic violence shelters in California. Contact the governor and tell him what you think.

Stephen Colbert Explains the Myth of Neutrality

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Neutral Man's Burden
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Jeff Goldblum

This segment of The Word on The Colbert Report from last night is probably the best thing that's ever aired on the show, possibly ever in the history of television.

Funny Stuff

I haven't posted any Funny Stuff in a while. Let's just say that the last month was so not funny. But it's a new month, and here are some funny videos for your enjoyment.



Betty Bowers on traditional marriage.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Burka Ban
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

Damn, Kristen Schaal. Where has your hilarious ass been?



The latest from Sarah Haskins.



File this under WTF. The inspiration of Barack Obama's presidential victory with all the kitsch of a Chia Pet.



File this under WTF too. Rush Limbaugh claims there's some sort of significance to the fact that Michael Jackson died during Barack Obama's presidency. And it sounds like his producers are giving him the "Please stop talking! You sound like a weirdo!" hand gesture. But Rush doesn't listen and continues to repeat his insane theory. If there ever was a time for the man to shut the fuck up . . . .