So Not Funny, George Lopez!

I get most of my feminist news from the mainstream feminist blogosphere, which likes to throw its trans news of the day in a little daily wrap-up, if at all. So I sincerely apologize for neglecting to get my feminist news from a place that's friendly to issues facing trans people. I will do better from now on. Being out of the loop in that regard is much worse than being out of the loop when it comes to Dancing with the Stars and Lopez Tonight. George Lopez is a guy that I never found funny. He probably doesn't think he's that funny either, since he tells transphobic jokes, the final resort in getting a cheap laugh. Last week, after the premiere of DWTS, he unleashed his fat hate and transmisogyny with this sorry excuse for a joke:

(At about 1:20) Finally my favorite male and female dancer of the season. Up first the male (he shows a clip of Wendy Williams' performance). It wasn't really her dancing that caught my attention, check this out. (he shows a clip of Wendy crying during dance practice). The last time she cried that hard was when she was on Maury and she heard Wendy Williams you are the father.

And then he called Kirstie Alley a pig, but he spared her her gender identity. George Lopez: A real revolutionary.

Alright, first of all, Wendy Williams is the bomb, okay? She's a Jersey girl, and she's really successful. She seems like a down-to-Earth woman, and she's one of three people I sort of pseudo-stalk when I hang out in Montclair (the other two are Stephen Colbert and baseball legend Yogi Berra). Most importantly, this "joke" doesn't hurt Wendy as much as it hurts trans women, particularly trans women of color, which make up about 100% of the trans people who are murdered each year. People have to learn that insulting someone by calling them trans isn't funny and leads to violence. It's a way of delegitimizing someone's being. And it needs to end like forever ago.

Not that you ever were funny to begin with. But, George Lopez, this is so not funny!

How Exactly Does God Punish a "Fag Enabler?"

That's "Your Majesty Fag Enabler" to you, Westboro Baptist Church.

Elizabeth Taylor died yesterday of congestive heart failure. She is, of course, most well-known for her acting career and for being an anti-AIDS activist. But seriously, who's against AIDS? The Westboro Baptist Church! So they're planning on protesting Ms. Taylor's funeral. They're famous for being utterly insane and protesting outside of the funerals of fallen soldiers, claiming that those deaths are God's punishment for America's tolerance of gay people. What tolerance? Exactly. Clearly, Westboro Baptist Church believes that Elizabeth Taylor has been punished by God for supporting anti-AIDS initiatives. How so? Let me list the ways:

1. A successful acting career spanning 7 decades.

2. Five Academy Award nominations and 2 Best Actress Oscars.

3. The most beautiful violet eyes that anyone has ever or would ever see.

4. Four children, 10 grandchildren, and 4 great-grandchildren.

5. Legions of devoted fans that loved her until her death at age 79.

6. Seventy-nine years of living!

Yes, you'd think if God hated her so much for funding AIDS research, he would've snuffed her out a long time ago. But no. 79 years. Millions of dollars. Big family. 2 Oscars. Beauty. When will God punish ME???

Michelle Malkin Warns of Retaliation by Bow and Arrow Wielding Liberals

This morning in Tucson, Arizona, Democratic United States Representative Gabrielle Giffords was shot in the head from point blank range at an outdoor town hall type of event in her district. Early reports stated that she was murdered, but thankfully, she is recovering from emergency surgery. However, Federal Judge John Roll, a 9-year-old girl, and 4 other people were shot to death (click here for news results). Representative Giffords was one of 20 Congresspeople targeted with crosshairs on this infamous map from SarahPAC, Sarah Palin's political action committee, in response to their votes to support healthcare reform.



A day or two after Ms. Palin posted that image on her Facebook page, Rep. Giffords' office was vandalized. She talked about the crosshairs placed on her district in light of the vandalism:

We really need to realize, the rhetoric and firing people up, and even things, for example, we're on Sarah Palin's 'targeted list.' But the thing is, the way she has it depicted has the crosshairs of a gunsight over our district. And when people do that, they've got to realize there's consequences to that action.

It's really a sad day for Tucson, Arizona, and the United States. In attempt to make us all laugh in light of this tragedy, right wing media darling Michelle Malkin tried to point the finger at liberals for being equally violent, or at least violent-minded. Her first example: Comments made by a regular person who blogs on Daily Kos. She posted a screen shot of a post entitled My CongressWOMAN Voted Against Nancy Pelosi! And is Now DEAD to Me!, which is a rant against the Congresswoman by someone who raised money and donated to her campaign and was disappointed by her decision not to vote for Pelosi for Minority Leader. That user has since deleted the post and stated the following:

i now am FULL of guilt after writing this diary.

I kind of feel bad that this person feels guilty about what they said, especially when this person isn't and never was an elected official, prevalent voice in any national political movement, or potential presidential candidate. But even they can own up to something unsavory that they said about a Congresswoman. Daily Kos founder Markos Moulitsas used the term "bulls eye" in the following quote in a post he authored over 2 years ago about FISA (and as we know, nobody vandalized Rep. Giffords' office -- or anyone else's -- within 48 hours -- or 30 months -- of that vote):

Not all of these people will get or even deserve primaries, but this vote certainly puts a bulls eye on their district. If we can field enough serious challengers, and if we repeat the Donna Edwards and Joe Lieberman stories a few more times, well then, our elected officials might have no choice but to be more responsive. Because if we show them that their AT&T lobbyist buddies can't save their jobs, they'll pay more attention to those who can.

Any reasonable individual reading this quote wouldn't seriously believe that Mr. Moulitsas is suggesting that Rep. Giffords, or the other 100+ Democrats on that list, be targeted for violence. He's talking about voting lukewarm Democrats out of office, and specifically states that he doesn't support saving their JOBS, whereas the crosshairs picture makes no mention of voting people out, and depicts blood red crosshairs to symbolize Representatives whose political careers are over (you might say "dead").

Lastly, Ms. Malkin compares the crosshairs image to one used by the Democratic Leadership Council in 2004.

And, with my powerful ability to remember the past 6 years, not a single conservative elected government official from any of those states was a target of violence by radicals, liberal or otherwise. Furthermore, nobody was mentioned by name in that map, unlike in Sarah Palin's crosshairs map. However, Michelle Malkin believes that those targets somehow advocated or still advocate violence against conservative office holders in America, even though Barack Obama won 7 out of 9 of those states in 2008 (without a single progressive shooting a single congressperson! We're either really great terrorists, or the threat doesn't exist).

I find such comparisons to be disingenuous and hilariously absurd. The target used in the DLC map is one that people shoot arrows at. Crosshairs aren't targets. Crosshairs are used to get a kill shot on a specific target. What does Malkin think? Bow and arrow toting progressives are going to shoot conservatives? We're going to advocate a constitutional amendment to our right to bear bows and arrows? Are we going to petition governments to open carry our bows and arrows at political events? Are we going to support measures that allow us to carry a concealed bow and arrow without a permit (Good luck with that, liberals! Bows and arrows are bulky!)? Why does she think the Native Americans lost? Because bows and arrows are no match for guns!

Spanky Would Have Called It the "She-Male Palin-Hating Club"

Some pastor from Florida named Doug Giles made a video stating why it is feminists don't like Sarah Palin. It's not because she wants government to be about as big as the distance between one's ovaries and vaginal opening. And it's not because she is as dumb as a pair of dookie stained granny panties. It's because we're all a bunch of "she-males" who are jealous of her looks. In case you haven't heard that before, I've posted the video. Additionally, I will henceforth be referring to Pastor Giles as Spanky, because he is a childish little rascal. Seriously, Spanky. I'd like to welcome you to the year 2010. Feminists have been hearing this bullshit since before Sarah Palin's father shot her out of his nutsack.



And because I like correcting people so much, I'd like to let Spanky know that Sarah Palin did consider having an abortion when she was pregnant with Trig. Luckily, she lives in a country where she had the choice to have all 5 of her children, instead of being forced into motherhood by a so-called small government. Spanky chooses to believe the lie, or else she wouldn't be his proper definition of a woman. And that would make his ass hurt.

And lastly but not leastly, this video is filled with disgusting transphobic hate speech. Simple proof that trans people are always seen as a simple scapegoat for assholes. If Spanky was truly confident in his beliefs, he wouldn't be threatened by metrosexuals or Chaz Bono or trans women or anybody else who doesn't fit the strict gender binary that he worships every day. It's old fucking news, and I believe, as a wise young woman once said, has been around since way before Sarah Palin's father shot her out of his nutsack. I have a feeling this man sleeps with one eye open and both hands holding his dick for dear life. It's pitiful.

Anti-Feminist Dating Service: Mel Gibson

Guess who's back on the market? Mel Gibson! Yeah! Mel Gibson the movie star! And, I assume, future Just For Men spokesman! And I just can't believe that anybody would let this guy get away, because he really knows how to make a gal feel special. Here's Mel pitching woo to his lady, who just doesn't seem to appreciate his colorful imagination.

You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault.

Poetry. The only thing that would make this hotter is if instead of just wishing rape on a potential mate, he'd quit beating around the bush and threaten to rape her himself.

I am going to come and burn the house down, but you will blow me first.

That's the spot. And now that's he's under investigation for domestic violence, I'm sure his phone will be very busy. So if you're a lady lawyer, Mel could be verbally assaulting you in no time.

So Not Funny, Family Guy!

I never watch Family Guy, because I think it's stupid and unfunny. When I found out that Quagmire's dad was going to come out as transgender, I figured I'd boycott the episode. But I decided that I'd rather watch it and become offended. As a cis woman who will never have to endure the harassment, assault, murder, and everything in between that trans women suffer every day, it was the least I could do.

So after a handful of gay jokes, Quagmire's dad comes out as "a woman trapped in a man's body" and decides to have a sex change operation. When Quagmire goes to Peter and Lois for comfort, they can't seem to tell the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity. After some banter, Lois concludes that they should all agree that Quagmire's dad is "odd." While at the hospital with Quagmire, Peter calls Quagmire's dad "it" and a "he/she." After Quagmire's dad, now Ida, reveals the results of the operation, Peter gives her the thumbs-up. Trans women don't need cis men's approval to make sure that they're sufficiently womanly, even in a cartoon. Later, Ida is invited to dinner at the Griffin's where transmisogynist jokes and comments are hurled both at Ida and daughter Meg. After the dinner, Ida and Quagmire get into an argument, so Ida goes to a bar for some drinks. She meets the Griffins' dog, Brian, and they end up having sex. You know, because trans women are into beastiality. Brian tells the Griffins that he's met a wonderful woman, and everyone thinks it's hilarious when they find out Brian's love interest is Ida. Stewie is the last person Brian tells about his wonderful new lady friend, and Stewie tells Brian about Quagmire's dad. They have a good laugh about it, calling her an "it" several times, questioning the validity of trans women's relationships, and defining her private parts as "a train wreck." When Brian finds out that he had sex with Ida, Quagmire's father, he vomits for like 30 seconds.

This list of transmisogynist "jokes" is by no means exhaustive. That was just from memory. There were probably a lot more hateful jokes in there. But don't take my word for it! Watch the whole episode!

Pretty much every transmisogyinst stereotype was incorporated in this episode. Except for Ida becoming a prostitute. How did Seth MacFarlane miss that one? Now, many people will tell me, "It's Family Guy! What do you expect?" "They offend everyone eventually!" "It's called being edgy! Get a sense of humor!" If Family Guy was that edgy, they would have made a pro-trans episode. Hell, they didn't even use the words "trans," "transgender," or "trans woman" in the entire episode. Instead, they rolled out all the anti-trans woman stereotypes and put them in one episode. These jokes are offensive and contribute to the death of trans women. When someone calls a trans woman a "he/she" or an "it" or question the legitimacy of her body parts and romantic relationships, they are dehumanizing trans women, and that is tantamount to advocating for their demise.

Yeah, so not funny, Family Guy.

I Know Rape Apology When I Read It. Rape Apologists Don't

My absence has been long, but I know somebody has lurked here in the meantime (more on that later). Unfortunately, my grand return isn't going to be one of those funny posts that I usually do. The frequency of my funny entries is entirely subjective, but I assure you, this is one of the posts that better fits my recently created subheading.

Nobody asked, but one of my biggest pet peeves is rape apology. If that's not liberal elite enough for you, perhaps you'd rather drop the term "rape apologia" at a party. For those who don't know, rape apology is speech that takes the side of the perpetrator in spite of the victim in rape cases. In essence, the rape apologist is apologizing, or explaining away, the especially heinous crime of rape (seriously, who doesn't watch Law & Order: SVU?). It is damaging to all women, not just victims of rape, but survivors who are subjected to this vitriol can really be hurt by this.

It all started with this post at Her Authority, a blog I highly recommend, written by ProChoiceGal. Actually, it started with this post at some other blog that I don't really care about. On Twitter, the author of the blog that I don't really care about tweeted a link about the 11-year-old pregnant Mexican girl who was raped, allegedly by her stepfather. The title of the article was 11-Year-Old 'Rape' Victim Wants to Keep Baby (stay classy, FOX News). Even novice feminists see the problem with putting the word rape in quotation marks; it totally delegitimizes what happened to this girl. ProChoiceGirl replied, asking what's up with the quotes around the word rape. The author of the blog that I don't really care about doesn't see the problem and took it upon herself to write an entire post lambasting ProChoiceGal about the fact that she did not report her rapist to the police. Here's only the second most offensive part of the post:

@ProChoiceGal wrote an entire blog post on “Anti-Choicers and Rape Apologists” [my side note: please read it!]. But I think she overlooked the real rape apologist, herself. She is so engulfed in her role as the victim; she totally ignores the bastard that raped her. Is he in jail? If not, why the hell not?

Calling a rape survivor a rape apologist for not reporting the rape? This person considers herself to be pro-life, by the way, and proves that women can be just as sexist as men. I agree with ProChoiceGal when she says that this is how anti-choicers react to pro-choicers who call out bullshit. They get scared and refuse to think about how their words are perceived by others. Speaking of which, I called that rape apologist a Grade-A 100% piece of dog shit. I thought long and hard in crafting that insult, and I'm pretty proud of it. After ProcChoiceGal explained why she didn't report the rape, the rape apologist said this, and it really set me off:

How many other young women has this guy raped because he wasn’t put in jail? For generations, perverts have been allowed to attack their victims, and NOTHING is done to them. They get away with it, and do it again, and again. This is what has to change.

I don't have to explain why this logic is problematic and pure rape apology, right?*But that's exactly what the author of that gem wanted me to do, in 140 characters or less, at that! So, the rape apologist came to my neglected blog to check out my Twitter feed in order to talk about me.

@Justsnapd8 #uncovertheculprit UN @funnyfeminist aka FEMily posted the comment http://twitpic.com/1ia19a Apology expected! #prochoice #prolife

Since when do I belong to the UN? I don't have my own country, yet.

@Justsnapd8 @FunnyFeminist Why would you call someone you don't know, an asshole, and a piece of dog shit? Did I do something to u? #prolife #prochoice

Not just to me, to all of womankind. I didn't say why, because I think metacognition is important. Doing her thinking for her just rewards laziness. I told her to read the comment she left for ProChoiceGal over and over until it clicked in her mind that she was indeed engaging in rape apology. She came back to me five minutes later, totally not getting it. I told her to spend more than five minutes thinking about it. I checked my feed every few minutes to see what she had to say, and was impressed that nearly an entire half hour passed without a response. After all that waiting, she said:

@Justsnapd8 @FunnyFeminist I refuse to let a person w/ little or no real life experience, attempt to belittle me this way. Goodbye Emily

I think it's funny that she believes 25 years, 7 months, and 7 days isn't enough life experience to engage in a serious conversation, but she'll fight to the death for the pretend rights of zygotes, who are -9.5 months old, no matter how much it belittles the human rights of women. Maybe her affinity with zygotes is due to the fact that they never talk back, unlike those bitchy educated Latinas.

I told that poor woman that her hostility toward metacognition will ultimately be her downfall. And I didn't say that just to sound highfalutin. I did it because I'm genuinely concerned about people who refuse to think about their thinking. That's exactly how rape apologia, and other types of hate speech, spread unchecked. So when you're called out on your bullshit, just check it. It's really eye-opening and makes you a better person.

*In case I do have to explain it, this kind of logic is rape apologia, because it makes the victim, rather than the rapist, responsible for other women's suffering. It is thinly veiled in the common sexist belief that women are the morally superior sex, and is therefore responsible for the well-being of every person in the entire world, a burden that nobody else is expected to carry. This belief, possibly in a contradictory way, has been used to argue against suffrage, abortion rights, education equity, and basically every other civil rights fight that women have been engaging in since the beginning of time.

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

So healthcare reform finally passed. I wouldn't call it a good or a bad bill. If I assigned a student an essay on how to reform the healthcare system and they gave me the major reforms in this bill, I would give them an Incomplete or Needs Improvement. We are not done, but we do not need to start over. We need to add more protections. We need to make sure that Medicaid and Medicare recipients aren't denied care because doctors don't get reimbursed enough. We need to make sure that people aren't denied treatment because it's experimental. The Representatives should be thanked for passing this legislation, but we must demand that they fight for more reform.

Say no to Jewish settlements in Palestine.

Urge Republican leadership to condemn the bigotry in their supporters.

Tell the Democratic Party to stop supporting anti-choice Democrats' campaigns.

Support the Fair Elections Now Act.

End the crack/cocaine sentencing disparity.

So Not Funny, Keith Olbermann!

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Keith Olbermann called his Worst Person in the World segment last night "unusual," and ended it with this:

All I have to say about Ann Coulter is this: If this guy wants to live his life as a woman, I'm gonna back his choice up 100 percent.

Calling Ann Coulter a man? Real unusual, Keith. And so not funny.

I know what you're thinking, because it wasn't long ago when my cis brain might have accepted this train of thought. "But Ann Coulter made a litany of gender-variant-phobic jokes in the column Keith quoted. She dissed cross-dressing! She dissed androgyny! She dissed butch lesbians! Why aren't you holding her accountable? Coulter is worse than Olbermann!" Maybe she is worse than he is, but not today. Or last night when Keith made that comment. I would really like the whole world to be above this, but I think the best hope the world has of becoming above this is if our progressive media figures become above this. Conservatives aren't going to call Coulter out on her trans hate. If anything, they might praise her for it. Progressives don't seem to be calling Olbermann out either. One woman on Twitter actually said it was the best part of her day. How's that for praise? But I still believe there are some people in the progressive movement that will tell him that his comments were offensive.

So that's why I e-mailed Keith Olbermann at Countdown@msnbc.com and told him that his comments were hurtful and possibly deadly. I mean, as long as mainstream media figures and the rest of the world are going to frame trans people as the outliers of humanity, then it doesn't make much of a difference if they were to die, right? (h/t @lilithvf1998). Making a joke about someone's gender identity does this extremely well. I think he needs to make himself tonight's Worst Person in the World. And never make a trans joke again.

Take Action Friday

Quick Take Action update before I celebrate my friends birthday.

Tell the House and Senate that abortion is healthcare.

Help protect seniors during these harsh economic times.

End the illegal dog meat trade.

Join the campaign to end preventable blindness.

Support 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Violence.

Tell the FDA to ban BPA.

Show your support for Medicare.

Urge the US to ban land mines.

Help ratify the Treaty for the Rights of Women

See Ya, Wouldn't Wanna Be Ya

Not that I'd want to be Lou Dobbs ever. Point is, Dobbs is out a job at CNN as of today. And guess which network he's moving to. I'll give you a hint: It's where all wing-nuts from CNN go to get even crazier.

Edit 11/14/09: I thought since Lou Dobbs met with Roger Ailes, Dobbs was moving to FOX News. But that hasn't been decided. He'll probably just go the Sarah Palin route and tweet all day long.

Every Day is Opposite Day in the GOP

As we should all know by now, South Carolina governor Mark Sanford has been cheating on his wife. This is the same Mark Sanford who called for President Clinton's resignation after lying about his affair with Monica Lewinsky (as did John Ensign, another philandering Republican leader). And this isn't the first time Republican leaders have engaged in behavior that they publicly denounce. There was Rep. Mark Foley, who created the Internet SAFETY Act before sending lewd instant messages to underage congressional pages, and homobigot Sen. Larry Craig,who turned out to at least like guys at least a little.

Then there's Oklahoma State Representative Sally Kern (R), who is CRAZY. She gained Internet super-stardom after someone posted an anti-gay (and anti-Islam) rant of hers on YouTube last year. Now, she has this creepy "proclamation for morality." And by "morality," I mean "creating a state-sponsored religion."

WHEREAS, this nation has become a world leader in promoting abortion,
pornography, same sex marriage, sex trafficking, divorce, illegitimate births, child abuse, and
many other forms of debauchery; and

WHEREAS, alarmed that the Government of the United States of America is forsaking
the rich Christian heritage upon which this nation was built; and

WHEREAS, grieved that the Office of the president of these United States has refused
to uphold the long held tradition of past presidents in giving recognition to our National Day of Prayer; and

WHEREAS, deeply disturbed that the Office of the president of these United States
disregards the biblical admonitions to live clean and pure lives by proclaiming an entire month to an immoral behavior;

NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned elected officials
of the people of Oklahoma, religious leaders and citizens of the State of Oklahoma, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma and of these United States, rests upon the Principles of Religion and Morality as put forth in the HOLY BIBLE . . . .

Now this would scare me, if it wasn't Opposite Day every day in the GOP. Sooner or later, some scandal will come out about her. But what will it be?

That's what the new Funny Poll will hopefully predict.