Sarah Palin Tells Some Knock Knock Jokes

I made a video of Sarah Palin telling knock knock jokes on Larry King Live using Xtranormal. I would have embedded it, but the code doesn't work, so just follow the link. It's my holiday gift to you. Hope you enjoy!

See What Strict Gender Roles Does to Children?

Yes, sir, you are a horrible father. Oh, I kid.

Some CPAC Funny

CPAC, the Conservative Political Action -- [looks at hand] Convention -- strike that -- Conference, is taking place this week in Washington, D.C. I think it's a week. I normally wouldn't care about these things, but there are a couple of funny videos from the event. First is some guy who decries the presence of a conservative gay organization at the convention. A conservative gay organization? Outside of the Catholic church? You're kidding me! He rationalizes his outrage by saying that civil rights are rooted in natural rights and natural rights are rooted in nature and nature is Wee-Wees + Foo-Foos = Baby. During his rant, something pretty amazing happens



He gets booed! Maybe it's because the crowd respects conservatives of the gay variety. Maybe it's because the absence of tie around his neck automatically makes him Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's BFF. But then this guy launches probably the best insult in history:

The lesbians at Smith protest better than you do!

That's probably because lesbians have always had plenty to protest about, even in super-duper gay Northampton (Hey, Diana & Tori!). Conservatives discovered protesting when Glenn Beck told them to discover it.

Next, Rachel Maddow attended CPAC, mostly to laugh at people. I really have nothing to add here. It's just plain funny.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

A Feminist Christmas List

Liz ODonnell from Care2 authored this cute feminist Christmas list. It has most of the stuff I'd want, although I'd prefer those D&G pumps in a 6 1/2 :)

Dear Santa:

I've been good all year. I worked hard even though I earned less than my male coworkers. Sure I called out when the kids got sick, but I checked my work email all day.

I took care of myself and got my yearly physical despite paying higher, gender-based premiums. I even managed to exercise 12 times.

I called my Senators and told them to vote no on Stupak-like anti-abortion amendments and yes on healthcare reform.

I voted in every election -- and for strong women candidates too.

I signed petitions to end human-trafficking, stop domestic violence and make rape kits more accessible.

I wore red for equal pay awareness, pink for breast cancer awareness and teal for ovarian cancer awareness (and I do NOT look good in teal.)

I stopped buying Isotoner products when the company fired a woman for pumping, drank only Diet Coke after Pepsi created a sexist app for the IPhone, and I won't let my husband wear Dockers anymore because of the company's ridiculous "Man-ifesto." (I guess I wear the pants in this house!)

Speaking of my house, I know it was a mess all year. But I read a study that said men are doing more housework than ever before, so I thought I could slack a little.

Santa, I think you will agree I deserve a few presents this year, so here is my Christmas wish list:

Healthcare reform that affords all women equal coverage for equal premiums and doesn't compromise women's reproductive rights

Passage of the Paycheck Fairness Act and equal pay for equal work

A strong slate of women candidates and women-friendly candidates for the 2010 elections

A critical mass of women CEOs, corporate directors, op-ed contributors and professors

Affordable child care

Paid sick days for all workers

An end to domestic violence, human trafficking and street harassment

Passage of the Justice for Survivors of Sexual Assault Act of 2009 to eliminate rape kit backlog

World peace

And, if you think I've been very good, a pair of Dolce & Gabbana patent pumps in rosa/geranio size 9.

Thanks Santa. Oh, and don’t forget to check my mantle when you stop by for some chocolate chip cookies (they're store-bought because, hey, I'm busy) and milk (soy of course).

Merry Christmas,

Target Women: Broadview Security

I totally didn't want to wake up this morning. This makes me glad I did.

Funny Videos (No Homo)

Bryan Safi"s latest -- no homo -- on the no homo use (or maybe no homo overuse) of "no homo." It's like the new "you know what I'm sayin'?"



Secretary of State Hillary Clinton uses her diplomacy skills to resolve the Mayor Cory Booker/Conan O'Brien conflict.



Roman Polanski on To Catch a Predator. Not really, but at least we don't have to use our imaginations anymore.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The Gay After Tomorrow
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Ron Paul Interview

Jon Stewart thinks President Obama should finally repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Maybe he will this weekend at the pride march in Washington, D.C.

B-b-but What About the Billionaires???

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

If you've been on the same planet as I've been on the past few days (i.e., Planet Why Did I Choose to go to Grad School AGAIN?!), you haven't seen this new video from Will Ferrell and friends imploring us to think about the health insurance companies for once. 'Tis funny.

Funny Stuff

I wish I had more funny stuff to post, since we could all use a little laughter.

The Soup shows us a sneak peek of the "fat reality show" line-up.



Sarah Haskins discovers Brooke Shields is good at selling stupid shit. Well, she endorses a lot of stupid shit.

Thank You, Senator Ted Kennedy

Senator Ted Kennedy died of brain cancer yesterday at the age of 77. Because everything I do as a young woman of color is due in part to Ted Kennedy's fierce leadership in his 47 years as Senator, I can only thank him for all he has done for the United States. The man with every kind of privilege in the world worked for the oppressed every day of his life, and his legacy shall live on in every person he has inspired. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

And to keep everything light and funny here, here's the "I'm an Amendment to Be" video from The Simpsons. This was the first time I heard of Ted Kennedy. No one will say that you're gay no more, Ted.




via videosift.com

Sorry about the volume thing. You have to raise it to 11.

That's Gay: Lady Kisses

Bryan Safi's latest That's Gay explores the "lez pretending" in prime time sitcoms and dramas.

What's That You're Against?

Part of me wishes I had the idea to make a sign with a hilarious spelling mistake and pretend to protest healthcare reform with it.




via Pandagon

Charles & Red Answer Important Questions

via Feministing

Transgender life coaches Charles and Red give hilarious answers to the cis people who've failed Trans 101

And while I'm at it, here's the latest That's Gay by Bryan Safi.



Please don't ask me what gay people have to do with feminism. Please.

Stephen Colbert Explains the Myth of Neutrality

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word - Neutral Man's Burden
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Jeff Goldblum

This segment of The Word on The Colbert Report from last night is probably the best thing that's ever aired on the show, possibly ever in the history of television.

Funny Stuff

I haven't posted any Funny Stuff in a while. Let's just say that the last month was so not funny. But it's a new month, and here are some funny videos for your enjoyment.



Betty Bowers on traditional marriage.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Burka Ban
thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran

Damn, Kristen Schaal. Where has your hilarious ass been?



The latest from Sarah Haskins.



File this under WTF. The inspiration of Barack Obama's presidential victory with all the kitsch of a Chia Pet.



File this under WTF too. Rush Limbaugh claims there's some sort of significance to the fact that Michael Jackson died during Barack Obama's presidency. And it sounds like his producers are giving him the "Please stop talking! You sound like a weirdo!" hand gesture. But Rush doesn't listen and continues to repeat his insane theory. If there ever was a time for the man to shut the fuck up . . . .

New Jerseyites Are Funny

New Jersey is a pretty funny place. Janeane Garofalo, Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Abott and Costello, and I are all originally from the Garden State. As I'm researching candidates running in the gubernatorial primary, I have to add one more funny person to that list: Democrat Jeff Boss. In his list of things he's going to do as governor:

GET RID OF TOLLS ON THE PARKWAY AT THE UNION, ESSEX, BERGEN TOLL PLAZAS THE FIRST WEEK I AM IN OFFICE OR I WILL RESIGN . . . 

I WILL ALSO BULL DOZE THE UNION, ESSEX, AND BERGEN TOLLS PERSONALLY(WITH THE HELP FROM THE UNIONS AND CONSTRUCTION WORKERS WHO ARE U.S. CITIZENS) WITHIN ONE WEEK OF GETTING INTO OFFICE, OR I WILL RESIGN.

Yes, tolls on the parkway are no laughing matter, especially for me, since I encounter those three toll plazas almost anywhere I go. They're a huge pain in the ass to avoid, unless you like adding a half hour to your ride and driving through the ghetto (both of which I don't mind sometimes). Every person who ever ran for governor in New Jersey has promised to get rid of the tolls. But this guy takes the cake in promising to resign if he personally doesn't eliminate arguably the three busiest toll plazas in the state in his first week. And 95% of his website is in bold caps. Jeff Boss, you are hi-larious. I just might vote for your crazy ass.

What's Hanging from Your Liberty Tree?

The Colbert Report	Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Sean Hannity's Liberty Tree
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Gay Marriage

I got the idea for my new poll from Thursday night's The Colbert Report. So what's hanging from your Liberty Tree?

Funny Mother's Day Video

MoveOn.org made another funny customizable video; this time, it's for the great moms in our lives. Just type in the name of your mom, grandma, godmother -- any lady you'd call mom if only she pushed you out of her vagina -- and send it away by this Sunday.

Just Point and Laugh

Great Britian released part of a list of people that are banned from entering the country. There are some pretty uncool people on that list. Two of them are right-wing hate-monger (am I being redundant?) Michael Savage and homophobic pastor (again, am I?) Fred Phelps. Now, I'm not saying what Great Britain is doing is right. But I do think it's pretty hilarious. And it's better than those two being banned from leaving the country.

"Ah, POOP! You never let us down!"

I wasn't expecting the wingnuts who took a day off of work to attend the TEA parties to be the smartest bunch of Americans. But I didn't know there were still people out there who don't know what POOP stands for!




No, lady. This is what POOP stands for.

A Message to Right-Wingers

Sometimes, a name is just a name. It's not like our names are our destiny. Alright, I do think about it sometimes. Like, Simon Cowell is kind of a mean guy, and if you take his first initial and his last name, it spells "Scowell" which sounds like "scowl". But I just see it as a fun thing. I don't really believe that Simon Cowell was destined to be a guy who scowls a lot on American Idol because of the name thing. But wingnuts don't see it this way. Remember this?




And remember all the "omigod! his middle name is Hussein! He must have something to do with Saddam Hussein!" BS that I don't have to link to here because everyone remembers it?

Well, it seems like this is an actual right-wing tactic.

Kel Munger of the Sacramento News & Review posted about how there were very few people of color at the TEA Party in Sacramento. A very angry lady named Liz had this to say:

I don’t know whether you’re some kind of hate monger … maybe goes with your last name, Munger.

And maybe Liz likes lizards because her name is Liz and the first three letters of "lizard" are L-I-Z. Or maybe she eats them! Or maybe she gave birth to one! Or maybe she is one! Oh no! Watch out for the Lizard Woman of Sacramento! George W. Bush was right about stem cell research after all!