Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

I didn't post my Take Action segment yesterday because someone broke into my house early Monday morning. Can you believe that? They broke in through a window that was accidentally left open. That's probably the third time in 18 years that we left a window on the first floor open, and somebody breaks in! They didn't take much. They stole my mother's purse and another bag that she takes to work that's full of paperwork. And although my mother and brother were very mad at our dog for not preventing the break-in (nobody said Labs were great watch dogs anyway), I think he scared the burglar off. Our back storm door was left wide open, which indicates that the burglar was preparing to steal some big stuff. However, our televisions, my mother's iPod, our Bose stereo, our DVD player, and our computer weren't stolen. None of those things looked like they were even touched. So I think our dog was sleeping outside our bedroom doors and didn't hear the window open. But he ran downstairs when he heard the back door open and scare away whoever was trying to steal from us. He might have growled and let out a few warning barks, which we wouldn't have heard from our bedrooms. And by the time the dog got downstairs, the burglar was probably already gone. So I think my pooch did good. Anyway . . . .

Support the Global Food Security Act.

Call for the release of Roxana Saberi.

Tell Congress to vote against increased war funding.

Support the free speech of federal scientists.

Help confirm Kathleen Sebelius. 

Urge the President and Congress to investigate torture.

Support international family planning funding.

Monday, April 20, 2009

5 Words You Need to Use to Win at Feministing

There's a little bit of a blog war between Feministing and Voz_Latina over anti-trans/cis-centered comments left by Feministing users in posts about trans issues. Honestly, I don't think bloggers are responsible for the people who comment. They're only responsible for what they write. But that's not really the point. No one's going to argue that the editors at Feministing sufficiently report on trans issues, because they don't. This wouldn't be a problem if they didn't update their blog 80 times a day and pass themselves off as all-inclusive. But anyway . . . .

Feministing has fixed their trans issue comment problem. They've issued a moratorium on comments in posts about trans issues. Because there's nothing worse than having a discussion about things that all of us could understand better. But there are still a few words you're allowed to use without getting banned or yelled at. Five words to be exact, and I guarantee that if you use any of these words or their derivatives, in any context, no less than 10 people will click "I liked this comment." 

1. Objectification
2. Privilege
3. Heteronormative
4. Cisexist
5. Othering

I can hear you now. "But, Emily. I don't really know what any of these words mean. How can I pwn in the Feministing community without knowing what the fuck I'm talking about?" The beauty of this system is that you don't have to know what these words mean or what the fuck you're talking about, because very few of the people who are reading the comments know what these words mean or what the fuck they're talking about. You just have to use these words, and people will like your comment to make sure they're not othering you in their own privileged, objectifying way.

Take Action Monday

Take a stand against climate change.

Inform Congress of insurance company deception.

Help stop discriminatory sentencing in drug cases.

Support clemency for Troy Davis.

Demand that torturers are prosecuted.

Tell your Congressperson to support the Matthew Shepherd Act.

Promote democracy and peace in Afghanistan.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

"Ah, POOP! You never let us down!"

I wasn't expecting the wingnuts who took a day off of work to attend the TEA parties to be the smartest bunch of Americans. But I didn't know there were still people out there who don't know what POOP stands for!

No, lady. This is what POOP stands for.

A Message to Right-Wingers

Sometimes, a name is just a name. It's not like our names are our destiny. Alright, I do think about it sometimes. Like, Simon Cowell is kind of a mean guy, and if you take his first initial and his last name, it spells "Scowell" which sounds like "scowl". But I just see it as a fun thing. I don't really believe that Simon Cowell was destined to be a guy who scowls a lot on American Idol because of the name thing. But wingnuts don't see it this way. Remember this?

And remember all the "omigod! his middle name is Hussein! He must have something to do with Saddam Hussein!" BS that I don't have to link to here because everyone remembers it?

Well, it seems like this is an actual right-wing tactic.

Kel Munger of the Sacramento News & Review posted about how there were very few people of color at the TEA Party in Sacramento. A very angry lady named Liz had this to say:

I don’t know whether you’re some kind of hate monger … maybe goes with your last name, Munger.

And maybe Liz likes lizards because her name is Liz and the first three letters of "lizard" are L-I-Z. Or maybe she eats them! Or maybe she gave birth to one! Or maybe she is one! Oh no! Watch out for the Lizard Woman of Sacramento! George W. Bush was right about stem cell research after all!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

[A] Funny Poll Results, and a New Poll

Before I post the new poll, here are the results of the last [A] Funny Poll.

How can Rush Limbaugh make you like him?

Pay me to kick him in the nuts: 23% (6 votes)
Sell his golden mic and donate the money to NOW: 7% (2 votes)
Move to a planet outside our solar system: 7% (2 votes)
Never speak again: 26% (7 votes)
He can't do anything to win me over, but I'd like to watch him struggle 15 votes (57%)

I was definitely part of the majority. And the next poll question is . . . .

Would you tea bag President Obama?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Take Action Monday

Support the global eradication of polio.

Thank the legislators in Vermont who support marriage equality.

Help reverse the effects of rising mercury levels on seals.

Support clean water for women everywhere.

Tell China to stop the executions of Tibetans.

Ask Congress to support energy efficiency.

Support prison system reform.

Stop sexual assault in the military.

Tell Iowa to support marriage equality.

Defend Michelle Obama's organic garden from pesticide lobbyists.

Friday, April 10, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: Rush Limbaugh is an Unattractive Woman

Feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society. It's proved practically every day in our modern culture.

Which can only mean one thing. Rush Limbaugh is an unattractive woman. And he only says "practically every day" because he takes a day off every once in a while.

via Media Matters

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Important Questions, Conservative Wingnuts!

Asking questions is a sign of deep thought. And since conservative pundits aren't really into thinking, they don't ask the smartest questions. But they do ask important questions, and by "important questions," I mean they ask really ridiculous questions that I will then make fun of. 

First, Debbie Schlussel, who is . . . somebody asked a very important question after President Obama told an audience in Turkey that he is one of many Americans who has lived in a predominantly Muslim nation and has Muslim family members:

[B]ut which "one of them?"

BOTH, YOU MORON! He lived in Indonesia and has Muslim family members! Now answer me this, Debbie Schlussel. 

How can you be a conservative and wear tie-dye? Pick a side, lady!*

Next comes a very important question posed by Rush Limbaugh. Today he talked about the PUMA by Segway. It's like a cross between a regular Segway and the Pope Mobile, except unlike the Pope Mobile, the PUMA senses cars and people and moves out of the way automatically (now that's infallibility!). This is just a prototype, and there are undoubtedly some kinks to work out. Rush will probably send this complaint to Segway ASAP.

What I want to know is what's going to stop a car from running into it?

Gee, I don't know, Rush. Perhaps the person driving the car?! Will somebody please shake this man?

*Debbie Schlussel is wearing a hand-died baby's onesie by Maggie's Functional Organics. Probably.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Take Action Monday

Help get the Dalai Lama a visa to enter South Africa.

Urge your Representative to pass comprehensive hate crimes legislation.

Ask President Obama to regulate carbon emissions.

End "corrective rape" of lesbians in South Africa.

Ask Secretary of State Clinton why the U.S. continues to supply weapons to Israel.

Demand that medical errors be publicized and prevented.

Tell Foreign Affairs Chairman Howard Berman to make foreign aid more effective in fighting poverty.

Friday, April 3, 2009

The Funny Stuff

Third week in a row of just funny stuff!

This is a hilarious video of actual things fundamentalist Christians have said. The quotes are from Fundies Say the Darndest Things*

Joe the Pretend Plumber hopes the mainstream media doesn't make this inquisitive blogger as famous as the mainstream media made Joe the Pretend Plumber.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c
Borderline Cops
Daily Show Full EpisodesEconomic CrisisPolitical Humor

On a slow news day after a week-long vacation, The Daily Show goes with the cash cow of comedy: The Minute Men!

And, the trailer we've all been waiting for . . . .

That was TOTALLY Ron Paul!

*When I typed that into Goolge, it said "Did you mean 'undies say the dandiest things?'"