Anti-Feminist Dating Service: Phil Kidd

Hey, ladies. Say hello to Reverend Phil Kidd. Now shut up! Why? Because Reverend Kidd believes there are some times when women need to shut up, and if you want this guy to love you, you don't want to turn him off by speaking. And if you think it's just your voice that Kidd is concerned with, you're dead wrong, ladies. He's such a great guy, and he cares about the world so much, he needs to protect the world from the horrors of lady self-expression, such as

Wearing pants,

Singing,

Bob haircuts, and

Helping children (because it turns them gay)

He's also a tender fellow. Just look at the way he's holding that woman in the picture. He's protecting her from floating away. After all, gravity is just a theory.

So if you want to spend a very quiet life with Reverend Kidd, give him a call, and say nothing when he picks up.