Linda McMahon's BFF Believes Linda McMahon Would Be a BSF

BSF. That's Best Senator Forever! Totes cute, right?

Come on. I bet my best friends would tell me I'd make a great Senator. I think they might have. But I'm not gonna take them up on it. Sorry! I'm all for women running for public office, of course. But I think women politicians need to make sure that they're really taken seriously. You can't even put your best friend down as a reference on an application to work at Taco Bell. So why would you do it in a campaign ad? It reads too much as a human interest story and not enough as a serious attempt to garner my support. Well, not my support, since I don't live in Connecticut. I'm not quite sure why I even see any of Linda McMahon's ads, to be honest with you.

Not only am I not from Connecticut, I'm not a Republican. Not by a long shot. These sorts of fluffy political ads don't make me like a candidate. I want to know where somebody stands on important issues that affect me and the people I care about. Maybe conservatives prefer a woman politician who doesn't cross the line of proper feminine gender expectations.

Take Action Monday

Today is Labor Day. If you are lucky, you either had the day off or got paid extra for working. If you're like most people, you don't belong to a union and have no right to! Today, remember the people who are either out of work due to the bad economy or do very hard work so that we can have the things we want and need.

Help farm workers who are victims of worker's rights violations.

Urge your Senators to support the Paycheck Fairness Act.

Tell Congress to strengthen your privacy rights online.

WTF: Uncle Flow.

Here's something stupid that I kept forgetting to talk about. It's a machine that men can wear around their tummies that simulates some of the physical symptoms of menstruation. There's fake blood and everything! Robin Marty at Care2 explains the usefulness of this product:

Would bleeding and cramping make a man a little more sympathetic to some of the everyday struggles of women? Couldn't hurt, right? So what would one do with a Menstruation Machine if it were actually released on the market? Maybe strap one on the male students in high school health class? Or make the pledges wear it as a stunt to get into college fraternities? The possibilities really are endless. I can't wait until they create a machine that will replicate childbirth for men. Maybe then we could actually get some maternity leave laws passed.

Um, no. It really shouldn't take actually experiencing menstruation or childbirth to understand that it's painful and a giant inconvenience. Case in point. When I was a little girl, there was this very annoying boy who would keep flirting with me. His name was Nick, and he was this short pudgy kid with curly brown hair. He bothered me, so I kicked him in the balls. A lot. Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to that poor boy and his balls.

But, how could I possibly have known that getting kicked in the balls would hurt, since I don't have balls and therefore was never kicked there and never felt the pain of being kicked there? Maybe it's because getting kicked anywhere hurts. Likewise, if something is called "menstrual cramps," one could bet, no matter what their sex or gender, that they would hurt. You know, because cramps are painful. And everyone has bled from their nose or from a cut, and everybody knows that it's not an enjoyable experience.

So when men downplay the pain in the ass that is menstruation, pregnancy, and childbirth, they're not doing it because they're just simply ignorant of these feelings. They're doing it because they're privileged little assholes. Period.

Random Thought About "Ground Zero" Mosque

I haven't updated in a while. And when I go a while without updating you should be worried, because that means I've been thinking a lot. For the past week or so, I've been thinking about the community center and Mosque being built in lower Manhattan. I've tweeted about it a lot, and if you follow my tweets, you know that I support their right to build the community center and Mosque there. I haven't even thought about "should they build there," because it doesn't make any difference to me. I think the most important thing is for the United States to uphold the Constitution and everyone's rights to freedom of religion and freedom to own property.

But a lot of people don't see it that way. Most people do support the right of the Mosque to be built, but most people don't think it should be built there. People have called the abandoned Burlington Coat Factory that was bought by Imam Rauf to build this community center "hallowed ground." I love a bargain as much as the next person, but "hallowed ground?" This building is two blocks away from Ground Zero, it's been abandoned for 8 years, and it's about time that area of the city be rebuilt to foster a feeling of community and at least try to bring it back to the bustling neighborhood it was before September 11, 2001. People like Newt Gingrich and other opposers of the Mosque are comparing Muslims to Nazis. Muslims all over the country who wish to build Mosques and Muslim prayer centers are being denied permits, as local governments are wiping their assess with the Constitution in order to please some racist jerks. And all of these thoughts naturally lead me to wonder this:

Did Glenn Beck face this much red tape from the government when he was planning his demonstration at the site of Dr. Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech this Saturday? Oh yeah. None. None at all. In fact, this was something he's been talking about for a year.

Think about it. Protesters of the Mosque in lower Manhattan are saying that because the 9/11 hijackers were Muslim, Muslims building on private property there would be in poor taste and would be a slap in the face to everyone who lost loved ones on September 11. Let's apply this logic be applied to Glenn Beck's demonstration. After all, a White person murdered Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Therefore, White people shouldn't be allowed to demonstrate on the site where he gave his "I Have a Dream" speech. It's sacred ground for African Americans who fought and died for equal rights. If you think I'm going too far with this, please read on.

One of the other major objections to a Muslim community and prayer center being built two blocks from Ground Zero is that this 13-story building is a symbol of Muslim's desire to convert everybody and change their most cherished beliefs and values. Fancy this quote.

This is going to be an image for the history books. If you come, I believe this may -- maybe in 100 years from now or 200 years from now -- I believe this will be remembered as a moment America turned the corner.

This is going to be an iconic event . . . This is a moment quite honestly, that I think we will reclaim the civil rights movement. It has been so distorted and so turned upside down. It's an abomination . . . We will take that movement because we were the people that did it in the first place.

Gee, who said that? Imam Rauf? No. It was Glenn Beck. It looks like Glenn Beck is the one who is trying to change history and our value system. Projection much?

Take Action Monday

End breast ironing in Cameroon.

Protect Social Security.

Tell President Obama to increase humanitarian aid to displaced Iraqis.

Urge Sarah Palin to STFU.

Support Net Neutrality.

Speak out against Republican obstructionism.

Palins to Teachers: "Oooh."

Former Governor Sarah "Winky Magee" Palin visited her home state of Alaska for some reason and brought a camera crew. Then, she saw a sign that said "WORST GOVERNOR EVER" and rushed over to talk to the person who made it. You know, because when Sarah Palin sees a sign that says "WORST GOVERNOR EVER," she automatically thinks, "That's me!" This is what went down:

Woman: You swore on your precious Bible that you would uphold the interests of this state. And then, when cash was waved in front of your face, you quit.

Sarah: [shocked] Oh, you wanted me to be your governor! I'm honored. Thank you.

Woman: I wanted you to honor your responsibilities. That is what I wanted. And to be part of the political process instead of becoming a celebrity so that you could -- and if that is the best you could do, then good for you, if that's the best you could do.

Sarah: That's why I'm out there, fighting for America, to have a Constitution protected so that we could have free speech.

Woman: Where are you fighting for that?

Sarah: Oh my goodness! To elect candidates who understand the Constitution, to protect our military interests so that we can keep fighting for our Constitution and freedoms --

Woman: By using your celebrity status. Certainly not by political --

One of Sarah's daughters -- Sprocket?: How is she a celebrity?

Sarah: I'm honored that she sees me as a celebrity!

Woman: You're certainly not representing the state of Alaska any longer, even though --

Palin's daughter -- Ozmodiar, I think: She's representing United States! *jazz hands*

Woman: Yes, I know. You belong to America now, and that's just fine.

Sarah: What do you do here?

Woman: I'm a teacher.

Sarah and Dingleberry Jones: Oooh. [exchange disappointed looks]

Yes, Sarah. Do you know what a teacher is? You should probably bring a Kindergarten teacher with you. She can improve your penmanship for the next time you want to read something off of your hand!

Ms. Palin's fee-fees got all hurt when news outlets played the video and concluded that she did indeed show contempt for this woman's career, albeit subtly. She certainly seemed much more thrilled when the woman identified herself as the wife of a commercial fisherman. Why not get so excited about her being a teacher, if you consider working in a school such an honorable profession that many of your family members hold? Where was she when John Boehner called the $20 billion jobs bill for teachers and police officers a "bailout for teachers unions?" Blogging in her PJs? Ms. Palin is all talk and no action and won't even come to the defense of her family when some jerk undermines their work. Shame, shame, shame.

So brava to Alaskan teacher lady, for speaking your mind, being proud, and being able to make a cogent argument. Can't say the same for Sarah Palin and her daughter, Boomerang Gypsy or something.

10 Things Anti-Choice Protesters Can Do to Help a Child Live a Happy Life

I just finished watching (and re-watching some of) the HBO documentary 12th and Delaware. It's about an intersection in Florida where there is an abortion clinic and a crisis pregnancy center (CPC). Unfortunately, most of the documentary follows CPC workers and anti-choice protesters. I guess that's where all the juiciness is. But I saw the anti-choice protesters in a different way. Don't get me wrong. I did not see past their ignorance and downright hatred for women. It was abundant. But what got me the angriest was that they were wasting some of their redeeming qualities, like tenacity, dedication, and passion, on harassing and hurting women. They spend their days, and make their living, harassing, lying to, and insulting the intelligence of women and teen girls. The "counselor" of the CPC and an anti-choice protester in the film admitted that their tactics may be harmful and/or illegal (e.g., stalking doctors and locking pregnant women in a room for 6 hours to convince them not to have an abortion), but it was worth it, because they thought they were helping.

Imagine if they engaged in activities that helped children, instead of denigrating women?

So I had the idea to do some convincing myself. I don't know if I will convince anybody to change their routine, but I'll just get it out there. I would like anybody who spends their days protesting outside of abortion clinics and other women's health centers to take one hour, just ONE HOUR, out of their protesting schedule to help real sentient children live fulfilling lives. Here are some ideas.

1. Spend an hour reading to one or more children at the local library or hospital. In an hour, you can read a couple of really good picture books, and it's a great excuse to talk in funny character voices.

2. Join an organization like Big Brothers/Big Sisters, and spend an hour with a child playing an awesome board game like Chutes and Ladders. There's no chute for the girl who had an abortion, but I'm sure pro-lifers can still appreciate the lessons learned.

3. Volunteer at the library or an after-school program, and spend an hour helping children with their homework.

4. Get together with neighborhood parents and organize a carpool to transport children to and from school. It helps kids and the environment!

5. Spend an hour at the local recreation center and teach music, dancing, art, baking, or first aid to children.

6. I highly doubt that most anti-choicers would do this, but I'll give it a shot. Spend an hour a day being a crisis intervention counselor for The Trevor Project, a hotline for suicidal LGBTQ youth. Help save the life of a transgender, genderqueer, gay, bisexual, or questioning kid in need.

7. Spend a half hour standing outside of the grocery store and collect money for UNICEF, the March of Dimes, or Abandoned Babies and Children. Spend the other half hour buying groceries to donate to the local food bank, since millions of kids go hungry every day in the United States.

8. Spend an hour at a group home for foster children, teen moms, runaways, or juvenile offenders and talk or play with them.

9. Volunteer at the local park and motivate children to exercise and eat healthy.

10. Spend an extra hour a day enjoying the company of your own children, grandchildren, and the other adorable little kids in your lives. They might be jealous that you're giving so much attention to other women's embryos.

This isn't about changing the views of anti-choicers. I'm not even telling them to stop protesting outside of clinics (although I wish they would, since they're doing more harm than good [that was a rhyme]). All I'm saying is that the above 10 things (and many others) are at least as rewarding as protesting outside of a clinic, and way more effective at helping children live happy lives. So take an hour each day and help children in need who can at least smile in appreciation. Some might even say thank you!

P.S. Although I say "volunteer" throughout the post, you can get a paying job to do some of those things. But you'd have to do it for more than an hour, of course.

A Day at Glenn Beck Elementary

By now, you have probably heard that Glenn Beck has started his own online university. Its motto is Faith, Hope, and Charity. Incidentally, a Sunday school teacher of mine from back in the day had a daughter with that very name. Isn't that nutty? Speaking of nutty, Glenn Beck has created an online university! It's not a real university where students earn credits, because college educations are for Communists and are at least the second most dangerous thing in America. Instead, it's just videos of three guys telling paid customers, called Insider Extremists, what hope, faith and charity are. Yes, three classes each on hope, faith, and charity. It should surprise no one that Glenn Beck thinks he has something to teach people who are old enough to use a credit card, because he's an egomaniac. In the interest of learning how to crawl before learning to walk, I think he should have created an elementary school first, because I don't think he's ready for higher learning. I wonder what a day at Glenn Beck Elementary would be like . . . .

In Language Arts, children would learn about such anti-Communist literary heroes as The Little Red Hen. You know her, right? She's the one who asked for help baking bread, and no one helped her. At the end of the story, she asks if anyone wants to help her eat the bread, and they all say "I do!" Then, she tells them all to go fuck themselves. The lesson is, they didn't help her make the bread, so they don't get to eat any of it. It's an important value to teach 6-year-olds to stop freeloading off of their parents and learn to use the stove themselves.

Then, it's time for Math. At Glenn Beck Elementary, being able to use numbers in one's daily life is very important. Students will be able to calculate how many illegal immigrants live in their neighborhoods, how many White babies they'll need to have to forestall brown folks becoming the majority, and how many webs of conspiracy theories one can make with a single box of chalk.

Only because this fascist state demands it, all of the students have to take Health. In an attempt to stick it to The Man, Glenn Beck Elementary school teachers tell kids the truth about nutrition. For example, the secret about candy is that it's really good for you. Dentists just say that sugar candy rots your teeth, because they want to keep all the candy for themselves. And people who exercise are the ones to blame for our nation's sky-rocketing healthcare costs, what with all their sport-related injuries. Oh, wait. That was Rush. Either way, no recess at Glenn Beck Elementary!

After Health comes Science, where students learn to separate fact from fiction. Evolution? Just a theory! Gravity? Just a theory! Climate change? Fascism! Thunder? Angels bowling!

The day is almost over, and now it's time for History. At Glenn Beck Elementary, students will learn about all of the great Americans that helped shape this country. There was civil rights hero Martin Luther King, Jr. He was kind of like Glenn Beck. And radical political thinker Thomas Paine. He was kind of like Glenn Beck too (Really? Whatever you say.). And one of our greatest founding fathers, Benjamin Franklin. That guy was a lot like Glenn Beck. And Revolutionary War hero Paul Revere. Just like Glenn Beck.

But really. Any old school teaches history. What makes Glenn Beck Elementary so great is that the kids in that school learn Future. In Future class, students will learn how Glenn Beck will reclaim the civil rights movement for White folks. Glenn Beck Elementary students will also be challenged to imagine what America will look like this Christmas, and next Christmas. And your children will surely get an A+ in Future, because name one damn thing that Glenn Beck has said that hasn't happened!

Take Action Today

I missed my blog's 2nd birthday, which I believe was on the 9th. Am I entering the terrible twos?

Tell President Obama to reinstate abortion coverage in high risk pools.

Urge your Senators to pass a clean energy bill.

Support the DREAM Act.

Tell your Representative to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA).

Anti-Feminist Dating Service: Mel Gibson

Guess who's back on the market? Mel Gibson! Yeah! Mel Gibson the movie star! And, I assume, future Just For Men spokesman! And I just can't believe that anybody would let this guy get away, because he really knows how to make a gal feel special. Here's Mel pitching woo to his lady, who just doesn't seem to appreciate his colorful imagination.

You look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault.

Poetry. The only thing that would make this hotter is if instead of just wishing rape on a potential mate, he'd quit beating around the bush and threaten to rape her himself.

I am going to come and burn the house down, but you will blow me first.

That's the spot. And now that's he's under investigation for domestic violence, I'm sure his phone will be very busy. So if you're a lady lawyer, Mel could be verbally assaulting you in no time.

Praising Gogol Bordello's Decision to Boycott Arizona

Earlier this week, the gypsy punk band Gogol Bordello announced on their Facebook page that they would not be playing any concerts in Arizona because of their racist immigration law, S.B. 1070. I am one of the over 600 people who "liked" their status, but the comments left on their Facebook page were a mixture of praise and whining (you probably need a Facebook account to see the comments, but I assure you the following comments are accurate. I'm not going to post names). Some people felt they were being "screwed over."

You guys aren't helping. All you're doing is stiffing the local promoters and the fans, which in turn just hurts us(not to mention our screwed local economy) instead of helping the cause. Screwing us over won't overturn a law we had no say in. That's not fair.

Here's a white guy in Arizona claiming he didn't have a vote! See, because that's what a representative government is. The citizens vote for representatives and the governor and urge them to vote and sign legislation to your liking. And if you didn't do that, then sucks to be an Arizonan, huh? But you know what's really unfair? Getting locked in a detention center because you have brown skin.

Here's someone with some sense:

If you live in AZ and it makes you sad, then make some noise and get SB1070 OVERTURNED so people aren't afraid to travel to your state.

Precisely, because if there ever was a band so conspicuous in style of music and attire, it's Gogol Bordello.

Every single one of these folks would be stopped and asked for their papers because of their strange clothes and shoes (6:06), not to mention accents. But one comment got me particularly perturbed:

I though[t] Gogol would be behind this. Seeing as how you and your family did everything legally and took the time and effort to do so. if i was an immigrant i would be very angry at illegal immigration. it would feel like a slap in my face, "oh you did it legally like responsible people? well screw you i am more important than you and i don't have the time to wait to do the paperwork."

The last part I get, the part about people not having the time to do the paperwork before they get out of their home country. And one of those people is Eugene Hutz, lead singer of the band (he's the one in the front of the photo with the fire bucket), and his family. They left Ukraine after the Chernobyl nuclear disaster. Talk about not having time to wait to do the paperwork, when you're running away from a mushroom cloud. They spent in refugee camps in three different countries before finally settling in Vermont. Eugene and his family are among the lucky immigrants who survived a nuclear explosion and refugee life.

Many immigrants don't have those resources. They escape war, systemic rape, genocide, and more to come to the United States and other stable nations for a better life. Many of these immigrants are denied asylum and are desperate to come to the country under any means necessary. So I'm pretty sure Eugene Hutz is empathetic to the plights of immigrants who are trying to escape turmoil in pursuit of happiness. If only that were guaranteed in some long-standing American document.

Because I love Gogol Bordello's music and the fact that they are boycotting Arizona until they overturn this ridiculously racist law, I'm going to update my above playlist with some of my favorite songs of theirs. Unfortunately, playlist.com doesn't have much from Trans-Continental Hustle. Enjoy anyway!

Vietnamese Acupuncturist Discovers Male Hymen!

An acupuncturist in Vietnam claims that red spots on a man's ear means he's a virgin. She used her amazing discovery to free three convicted rapists, including one who was sentenced to 16 years in prison for being involved in a gang rape of a 20-year-old. Isn't that crazy? A guy getting a 16-year prison sentence for rape? Sixteen months, if he were in America.

Stranger still, she threatened to light herself on fire if the rapists' cases weren't reopened. If I were the president of Vietnam, I'd have sent her some lighter fluid and matches and wished her a happy Independence Day. But the real president of Vietnam reopened the men's cases, and the men were subsequently freed.

I'm wondering why one acupuncturist has more power than the rule of law, or the women who were raped by these "virgins."

Take Action Monday on Tuesday

Last Monday, I played New York City tour guide to a family from Arizona. All I have to say is, Bill Maher was right.

Support clean energy legislation.

Tell BP to provide respirators to clean-up workers.

Tell BP to stop burning endangered sea turtles alive.

Help to repeal the ban on privately-funded abortion in the military.

Tell Congress to make ending violence against women a priority.

Protect whales from hunting.

Support full funding for public media.

Keep important reproductive decisions between patients and doctors, not legislators.

Pledge to be an advocate for immigrants.

Support healthcare coverage of immunosuppressive drugs.

Random Thought About Natural Gas Exploration

I haven't updated in a while, but I have been thinking. In light of the BP oil disaster, I've been thinking about natural gas. Even though most people still support off-shore drilling, I think President Obama and the United States Congress is going to be advocating for more natural gas exploration. One of the benefits of natural gas is that it is plentiful in North America, amounting to over a trillion cubic feet in the United States alone (I can't even wrap my head around that number). Natural gas is cleaner than coal and oil.

(The rest of the information from this post comes from an episode of Dan Rather Reports called Fracking Gas)

However, there are problems with natural gas. It's a non-renewable fossil fuel, like oil and coal. Americans still need to demand cutting our dependence on fossil fuels, in favor of clean and renewable energy sources, even if there are a thousand years of natural gas available for our consumption (although it's probably more like a hundred years).

Natural gas also requires mining, either onshore or offshore, which destroys habitats. The process of extracting natural gas from the earth, called fracking, requires drilling thousands of feet into the land. The technique also uses a slurry of chemicals to break free the natural gas from underground shale rock. Some people who live near these fracking sites believe that their well water became contaminated. Here is one woman's testimony from the episode of Dan Rather Reports:

When I became so ill, the bone pain was very extreme in my legs and-- and then, as-- in my tailbone. And as the weeks went by, it-- it started to-- like it was crawling up my-- my spine. And eventually, you know, it went throughout the whole body. And things have progressed from there of-- of becoming more ill. The s-- the seizures that have come on, the-- the-- the migraines, the continual feeling is as if you have the flu, and . . .

This was after the natural gas company paid thousands of dollars to install a water filtration system in the woman's home, because their tap water was black. Other families who live near fracking sites have had similar health problems and cannot consume local well water because of its odor and color. More research needs to be done to determine if these problems were caused by natural gas fracking or something else before the United States government decides to tap into more of the country's natural gas reserves.

My last problem with natural gas, while not an inherent problem, I think needs to be improved before the United States approves more natural gas exploration: Split-Estate Law. The best way I can explain Split-Estate is to think of it as a compromise between the Homestead Act and Eminent Domain. In 1916, the Homestead Act gave acres upon acres of farmland to regular people, but the federal government still owned the mineral rights below the land. Eminent Domain is the federal government's right and responsibility to relocate people for a fair price, if doing so benefits the general public (e.g., creating public transportation). Split-Estate allows for the energy company and the owner of the surface land to negotiate a fair price to drill for oil, coal, or natural gas. So I guess there's not going to be any Beverly Hillbillies situation happening if the United States expands natural gas drilling. I fear that Split-Estate laws continues near energy monopolies, instead of creating local, small, independently-owned natural gas companies. I think Split-Estate laws should either be eliminated, giving below-surface land ownership to the surface landowners, or they should be changed to ensure that surface landowners are paid a ton of money for the natural gas extracted from the land.

Shorter Kevin Hogan: Every Woman is Secretly Telling You that They Want to Fuck You, Even if It's Just a Little

via Feministing

I don't really expect anything more from a blog post brought to you by an Axe body spray product, but come on. Some site called Asylum.com talked to a body language expert named Kevin Hogan to help really inept men figure out what women are telling them, without all the work and frustration that goes into listening to them talk. According to Hogan, a woman can't stand or sit without inviting sexual advances from strange men.

"She's non-consciously drawing attention to her neck, which is a bit of an invitation," says Hogan. "That, combined with her very off-balance posture, could be interpreted that she likes you and trusts you."

Or maybe she's checking her pulse as she's listening to you go on and on about the sophisticated system you created to rank the Kardashian sisters (Really? Tits to Ass Ratio? You don't say!). But let's not take her word for it. Nick Hogan is here to relieve you of the burden of wondering why you stand like that. Such thoughts used to consume me. Please, tell me more.

"She is prepared to be obedient," he says. "Her hands are keeping her posture straight and completely open and her neck is completely exposed. That's as open an invitation as she can give you."

You know, without her actually telling you with words. But if you thought she'd fuck you now, wait until you see her sit like this . . .

This laid-back stance signifies that this woman is "aggressively flirting with you," our expert tells us. "She shows you her body, but blocks it with her right arm offering you a small hurdle to get past to get the prize."

I was sitting very much like this on a rock ledge not long ago, eating a frozen yogurt parfait and watching a bluegrass band performing outside of the fair trade tea salon and market. That's why all those hippies followed me home! Oh, wait. That didn't happen.

But this is my favorite. Lest you think that all hope is lost when you make her recoil in horror, consider this.


Either you just said something offensive or your breath is bad. This is obvious because the woman has leaned away from you in addition to crossing her arms. Luckily, "Her feet are still pointed toward you, forgiving your boorish behavior," says Hogan.

Gee, what could he be saying here? "Do you like 3Oh!3? They're my favorite band!" "Yeah, I pretty much watch everything on G4, except Ninja Warrior. That show blows." "You like how I smell? It's Axe shower gel. I can write more poems like that if you want."

For all the confidence and advice that men's websites and blogs are supposed to give guys, they're really just making things more complicated (and making a lot of guys infinitely creepier and more likely to think nonconsensual sex is just fine). If you're looking for a friend or a girlfriend, just start talking to them. See where the conversation goes. It'll only take a few minutes of actual conversation for you to figure out if this person is someone you want to spend more than a few minutes with. Instead of looking at where her hand is or how much of her weight is distributed to her right side or in which direction her left big toe is pointing, LISTEN TO WHAT SHE HAS TO SAY.

Take Action Monday

I was going to post these petitions earlier, but I saw El Secreto de sus Ojos (The Secret in their Eyes), the Argentinean film that won the Oscar for Best Foreign Language Film a few months back. There were a surprising number of senior citizens there. The movie is amazing, and knowing that a bunch of old people ditched their stupid families to go see it made it even sweeter.

Support Secretary Salazar's plan for increasing renewable energy sources and energy efficiency.

Preserve the International Affairs Budget.

Tell FOX to fire racist contributor John Stossel.

Support Alan Grayson's (D-FL) The War is Making You Poor Act.

Repeal Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Reject the Texas Textbook Massacre.

Strip BP of all federal contracts.

Who to Honor Today

Today is Memorial Day, a day that since the Civil War, has been observed to honor the soldiers who died during war time. Soldiers haven't died fighting to preserve America's young democracy in a long time, probably not since the Civil War, oddly enough. Since then, Americans have fought in other people's wars to protect other people, and we tell ourselves that they're fighting for us, because that protects our psyche. Whether you agree with the reasons for going to war or not, these soldiers are still dead. It is important for Americans to honor the memories of the tens of thousands of soldiers who have died protecting people we care deeply about, even if it's just each other.

Today is also the one year anniversary of the murder of Dr. George Tiller, one of the only late-term abortion providers in the country, by anti-choice terrorist and convicted murderer Scott Roeder. Women from across the country with pregnancies that threatened their lives and health and that of their fetuses received care from Dr. Tiller and the other personnel at his clinic in Kansas. He helped them relieve some of the suffering in a very difficult and sad part of their lives. Please honor him on this day.

The Funny & Fucked Up

The Funny

After Bill O'Reilly tells Columbia University professor Dr. Marc Lamont Hill that he looks like a cocaine dealer, Dr. Hill responds: "You look like a cocaine user."

A couple of feminist blogs have talked about a new right-wing website called America Speaking Out. Conservatives post their ideas to improve America, and visitors to the site vote for the ideas. It appears that several funny liberals have taken the site over and posted some jokes.

The Fucked Up

A radio station in Columbus, Ohio had a contest in which the "winner" gets a trip to Phoenix, Arizona to "chase aliens." You can encourage them to apologize here.

An elementary school teacher in Norfolk, Virginia gave four-inch plastic fetus dolls to their students, along with anti-choice messages.

No, Walter, You Did Women a Favor

It's pretty clear that to fill in for Rush Limbaugh, you have to be more utterly insane and just plain stupider than he is. That way, all of us liberal cry babies can be thankful when he comes back to just sprinkle discriminatory language throughout his broadcasts instead of slabbing it on pretty thickly like this fool. I'm honestly surprised when people say such ridiculousness. I don't care to research this guy's credentials, but people who host radio shows tend to be formally educated with college degrees and life experience. And then I remember that right-wing nut jobs on the radio aren't stupid. They just know that their audience is stupid and play on that. Right wing nut jobs on the radio don't care about delivering news, insight, or analysis. Their purpose in life is to make idiots feel smart (and vote). In the above clip, Walter E. Williams compares systemic discrimination to seeking a potential spouse.

Back in 1960, when I was choosing a marriage partner, I systematically discriminated against White women. I didn't give Asian women an equal chance to marry me. I didn't give women with criminal records or women that did not bathe regularly. I did not give them an equal opportunity to marry me. Now you might be saying, "That type of discrimination doesn't hurt anybody." Well, if you said that, I would be insulted, because when I chose to marry my wife, I harmed other women. I reduced their opportunity set. So I did harm other people.

If your point of view only works with an analogy that proves you're an arrogant asshole, then you have no point. You see, Mr. Williams getting off the market in 1960 didn't harm anyone (except maybe his wife). It didn't reduce other women's pool of possible husbands. With Mr. Williams out of the way, straight women were more likely to find a husband that, you know, didn't believe in controlling them and making their kids work instead of go to school. Seriously, he said all that nonsense in the same show.

Now do us another solid and stop talking.

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