The Secret to Living Forever

Ever wonder how 91-year-old Ernest Borgnine can still, in his old age, play a cartoon superhero on Spongebob Squarepants? Fox & Friends fished for the answer, and almost immediately regretted it.

Borgnine: I masturbate a lot.

Along with hairy palms, insanity, blindness, and selfishness, I think looking like Ernest Borgnine will become another tool in the arsenal of the anti-masturbation crowd.