John McCain Pretends He's Hip to the Groove . . . Jive Turkey

Sorry for my absence. I haven't been on the computer in days and days. I really need to get one for myself. Some updates on my life . . . I started a new job! Yay! I went to the American Idol concert on Wednesday night. I know, I'm such a dork. The best part of the night was Jason Castro's performance, of course. After he performed "Over the Rainbow" (the Israel "IZ" Kamakawiwo'ole version), he said that he just finished reading a book called The Alchemist. You know who else just read that book? I did! Obviously I screamed my head off when he said that. I was like, "I just read that book!!! I just read that book!!!"

Okay, I can talk about Jason Castro and his infinite beauty all day long (infinitely, actually), but it's time to talk about more important things like John McCain's new and hilarious attack ad on Barack Obama. If you don't have 30 seconds to watch the ad, here's the jist of it: "So many people love Barack Obama and gather by the hundreds of thousands to hear him speak. Wouldn't you rather have a crusty old man who goes grocery shopping in a suit lead the free world? That's what I thought." Juxtaposing Barack Obama with Britney Spears and Paris Hilton is pretty silly, especially since the Hilton family donated money to John McCain's campaign. I don't know anything about campaign donation etiquette, but I don't think you should feature one of your donors in an attack ad. That's just common sense. Obama bit back in what some believe is a controversial way*. However, I think he should retaliate with an attack ad of his own featuring a celebrity he is indeed associated with, and it can go a little something like this:

Don LaFontaine: In a world where one's knowledge of celebrity and entertainment news is obviously so much more important than knowing who's running for president of the United States, John McCain is horribly inept. In an interview with Joe Scarborough on his show "Morning Joe", John McCain calls Heidi Montag of "The Hills" "a very talented actress." Montag, eh? Sounds German. In fact, "Montag" means "Monday" in German, and nobody likes Mondays. You know who else was German? Adolf Hitler! And you know who's friends with Hiedi Montag? John McCain's daughter, Meghan! Anywho, John McCain doesn't even know that "The Hills" is a reality show. Well, it's sort of a reality show. They basically just reenact the days events for the cameras, but I wouldn't call that acting. Would you? Seems a bit tedious, doesn't it? That's what you get with John McCain -- no knowledge of today's important entertainment issues, tedium, and only two degrees of separation between him and HITLER.

And, of course, it would end with "I'm Barack Obama, and I approve this message."




*When I searched for "Barack Obama's reaction to John McCain Paris Hilton ad," all I got were entertainment articles on Paris Hilton's reaction to the ad. But when I searched for "Obama plays the race card," I got the info I needed. Sad, sad, sad.