Because Colorado's Personhood Amendment Was So Successful

PUSA Promo (Web) from Endfallow on Vimeo

Even though Colorado's personhood amendment failed miserably, some really misguided people were inspired to start Personhood USA, an anti-choice organization that will try to do across the country what failed miserably in Colorado. Sorry for the redundancy, but I'm just so thrilled that the personhood amendment in Colorado failed so miserably. Anyway, Personhood USA wants to get states to recognize fertilized eggs as legal persons. Watch the video above and tell me what's missing . . . .

An introduction that looks like it was made in the 21st century? Yes, that is missing. The film-reelness of it all must really bring them back to a time when women with unwanted pregnancies paid a scumbag to punch them in the stomach. Ah, memories. I'm just disappointed there was no mushroom cloud or duck-and-cover lesson or anything. But even though the introduction was missing a little something, that's not the missing thing I was thinking about.

Proper vocabulary? Sure, that's missing too. I don't know what a pre-born baby is. Is that like pre-chewed food? Or a pre-cooked meal? Because when you put "pre" before a verb, it means that action has already taken place. "Pre-born baby" implies that the baby was already born, and you just have to take it out of the box and bake it at 350 for 45 minutes and ding! Speaking of babies in boxes, remember this? Anyway, correct vocabulary wasn't the missing factor I was thinking of either.

A valid point? Indeed, that is missing. Someone in the video quotes the Declaration of Independence. Many anti-choicers do this. They believe that because the Declaration of Independence has the phrase "right to life" in it, that the Declaration of Independence must apply to clumps of cells that live inside and off of women. News flash, people: Anything that needs to be inside a woman and feed off of her through a tube is not independent. That document only applies to those of us that are born. So although a valid point is missing, that's not the missing thing I was thinking of. No, what's missing is . . . .

A FERTILIZED EGG! If this organization's mission is to implement personhood amendments that define zygotes as people, then maybe this video should actually, you know, show a fertilized egg and tell us how much of a person it is. Maybe that video should go more like this:



"Yo. I'm obviously a human person just like you and the woman whose Fallopian tubes I'm traveling through right now. Give me more rights than she has, please!"

At least that would be a more accurate representation of what Personhood USA wants.