I don't bite.
Britney Spears was right when she said there are two types of people in the world. There are those who sit on the toilet seats in public restrooms and those who don't. I'm a proud member of the former group. I wipe down the seat, or I lay down some toilet paper and sit. It's totally sanitary, and I don't get pee on the seat. And since I don't get pee on the seat, the next person doesn't have to worry about sitting in pee. The only people who have to worry about sitting in pee are the people who need to use the toilet after a person who's so afraid of peeing on the seat that they squat over the seat and pee all over it. Pee or diarrhea, as the case may be, which it was today, unfortunately for me. Seriously, people. Nobody wants to walk into the only empty stall and find poop splashed all over the back of the seat. I'm no stranger to dropping a deuce in a public restroom. I don't care if I make a stink, because if there's one thing I learned from the book Everybody Poops, it's that everybody poops. And I don't care if anybody else takes a dump in a public toilet, just as long as it all makes it in. So sit on the seat, do your business, and flush. I don't need to see what you did before you got there . . . or what you had for breakfast.