So Florida ruled that banning gays and lesbians from adopting kids is unconstitutional. Yay! But reading some of what Florida's attorney general had to say about the ruling makes me wonder where some people think foster kids come from. I mean, you can't have a foster kid without having a kid first, and you can't have a kid without a woman and a man having sex. Right? With that said . . . .
"The attorney general's office had argued that gay men and lesbians are disproportionately more likely to suffer from mental illness or a substance abuse problem than straight people, rendering them less fit to parent -- especially children in foster care who already are under tremendous stress."
So straight people don't make foster children? Then where do foster kids come from? I think I might need to have "the talk" with my mother all over again.
Check out this video from Tampax that dumps all over Mother Nature and the menstrual cycle. I'm not saying that periods are fun, but they are necessary, and I don't see any reason to tell women to hate them or be ashamed of them or equate them to natural disasters. That's just a little extreme, don't you think? I mean, I don't see anyone treat diarrhea this way, which is just as much a part of nature as one's periods and like a hundred times less predictable.
A Catholic priest in South Carolina tells his parishioners not to receive communion if they voted for Obama. What has to happen before churches like this lose their tax exempt status? I'm sure Catholic churches paying taxes in a "pro-abortion" country is no more unholy than that same money going towards paying for kid-toucher insurance.
Mike Huckabee thinks LGBTs have to suffer more before they can get civil rights. Until then, being gay is totally bearable. And because Huckabee has such impeccable timing, he said all of that the day before International Transgender Day of Remembrance.
John Claude Van Damme attempted to hit on a Newsweek reporter with his . . . je ne sais quoi. Seriously, JC. Je ne sais quoi the Hell you are doing. "I really opened myself up in 'JCVD.' I peeled back the skin of the fruit, cut the pulp and then took that very hard seed. In this film I cut that hard seed, and inside that seed was a kind of liquid cream substance of the man I am, or the woman you are." Hard seed cream, ne sont pas des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble.
This is gonna sound crazy, but I just have come out with it. Sometimes, I can't tell the difference between right-wing radio hosts and al-Qaeda. I wouldn't admit it if I thought I was alone in this. But for those who still need some convincing, check out these two statements, and you'll see what I mean.
"[To Barack Obama] You were born to a Muslim father, but you chose to stand in the ranks of the enemies of the Muslims, and pray the prayer of the Jews, although you claim to be Christian, in order to climb the rungs of leadership in America."
"[I]magine being 10 years old in Jakarta, Indonesia, being raised as a Muslim, and your mother . . . hates you so much that she sends you to Honolulu to live with her mom and dad, so she can stay in Jakarta, Indonesia, and being raised -- being married to Barry Soetoro . . . And so [Barack Obama] was raised in that environment by a communist mother who hooks up with a guy named Barry Soetoro, who is a radical Muslim, and they quickly fly to Jakarta, Indonesia, which is where Barry Obama was raised as a little boy . . . . And that's all fine, he had nothing to do with it . . . . But it's who he is. He was raised as a Muslim at the two - at the two schools he attended. One was Christian -- raised as a Muslim -- the other one was secular. Why doesn't he admit the truth?"
Now, which statement was made by right-wing radio hate-monger Bill Cunningham, and which one was made by al-Qaeda second-in-command Ayman al-Zawahri? Click the names of these two dudes, and you'll find the answer. Or you could not do that and enjoy the mystery, you nutty daredevil you.
I've always loved Wanda Sykes. And after watching this video of her publicly coming out, I sort of want to join the First Church of Sykes. You don't really have to believe in anything, except equality.
Former Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin thinks "living with their parents" is an insult. Excuse me, but some of us have to work to pay for our student loans and graduate school tuition, unlike some people *wink*.
A man in Tanzania attempted to sell his albino wife, because body parts from albinos are apparently great for potion-making. The article doesn't say if he tried to sell her to protect her from being killed or to profit from her albinism. Either way, that's fucked up.
A Little Bit of Both
Lindsay Lohan called Barack Obama our first "colored" president. And she said "colored" softly and quickly, like she knew it was wrong. Although, she said "fruition" that way too.
And Joe the Plumber, who has no right to practice plumbing, has a website! It's called Secure the American Dream, which apparently involves stiffing America out of taxes. And none of the links work. Joe the Web Designer he is not.
Even though Colorado's personhood amendment failed miserably, some really misguided people were inspired to start Personhood USA, an anti-choice organization that will try to do across the country what failed miserably in Colorado. Sorry for the redundancy, but I'm just so thrilled that the personhood amendment in Colorado failed so miserably. Anyway, Personhood USA wants to get states to recognize fertilized eggs as legal persons. Watch the video above and tell me what's missing . . . .
An introduction that looks like it was made in the 21st century? Yes, that is missing. The film-reelness of it all must really bring them back to a time when women with unwanted pregnancies paid a scumbag to punch them in the stomach. Ah, memories. I'm just disappointed there was no mushroom cloud or duck-and-cover lesson or anything. But even though the introduction was missing a little something, that's not the missing thing I was thinking about.
Proper vocabulary? Sure, that's missing too. I don't know what a pre-born baby is. Is that like pre-chewed food? Or a pre-cooked meal? Because when you put "pre" before a verb, it means that action has already taken place. "Pre-born baby" implies that the baby was already born, and you just have to take it out of the box and bake it at 350 for 45 minutes and ding! Speaking of babies in boxes, remember this? Anyway, correct vocabulary wasn't the missing factor I was thinking of either.
A valid point? Indeed, that is missing. Someone in the video quotes the Declaration of Independence. Many anti-choicers do this. They believe that because the Declaration of Independence has the phrase "right to life" in it, that the Declaration of Independence must apply to clumps of cells that live inside and off of women. News flash, people: Anything that needs to be inside a woman and feed off of her through a tube is not independent. That document only applies to those of us that are born. So although a valid point is missing, that's not the missing thing I was thinking of. No, what's missing is . . . .
A FERTILIZED EGG! If this organization's mission is to implement personhood amendments that define zygotes as people, then maybe this video should actually, you know, show a fertilized egg and tell us how much of a person it is. Maybe that video should go more like this:
"Yo. I'm obviously a human person just like you and the woman whose Fallopian tubes I'm traveling through right now. Give me more rights than she has, please!"
At least that would be a more accurate representation of what Personhood USA wants.
While I was sick this week, I thought of a new weekly segment! It's called "The Funny & the Fucked Up." Basically, it's a funny story or video of a feminist nature and another story or video that's seriously fucked up. I wanted to start this on Friday, but I was too tired to post it. So let's just say I'll start this new segment officially on Friday and call this a sneak peak.
The Funny:
Stephen Colbert wishes his mommy a happy 88th birthday. Super cute!
And the Fucked Up:
Smear Channel darling Jim Quinn thinks slavery was like totally awesome for Black people. But he doesn't volunteer himself to be a slave. Odd.
No surprise, Sarah Palin is the funniest gaffe of the presidential election. Here are the results:
Joe Biden tells Chuck Graham to stand up: 2 votes
John McCain agrees that Western Pennsylvania is racist: 6 votes
Barack Obama claims to have visited 57 states: 2 votes
Sarah Palin. Simply Sarah Palin: 10 votes
So what does Governor Palin win for being the biggest gaffe of the presidential campaign? Nothin'. But you guys get Palin's greatest hits. Or should I say misses?
It's finally Election Day! It's obvious that I'm voting for Obama, since I'm a feminist. But voting for McCain certainly would be hi-larious. It's not important who you vote for. It's just important that you vote. And . . . .
Says the Wicked Witch of Grosse Pointe Farms. Denying children candy on Halloween based on who they'd like to see win the presidential election takes a special kind of crazy, and this lady's got it! She asked trick or treaters who they support for president and who their parents are voting for, and she posted a sign saying "No handouts for Obama supporters, liars, tricksters, or kids of supporters." Cuckoo . . . cuckoo . . . cuckoo.
So since she didn't give those kids candy, wouldn't egging her house be justifiable? "Trick or Treat" is definitely a legally binding verbal agreement.
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