Friday, October 10, 2008

Sarah Palin. Has. PORES!!!!

FOX News is having kittens over the latest cover of Newsweek, which features a close-up photo of Governor Sarah Palin. Of course, this story is delivered by one of the FOX News beauty queens who wouldn't have a job on that network if they looked like, maybe, Rachael Maddow (I love you for your mind, Rachael!) And to live up to their "fair and balanced" slogan, they had two women of different political persuasions on the show (or at least different opinions on this very stupid issue). Here's what the conservative one said:

It highlights every imperfection that every human being has. We're talking unwanted facial hair, pores, wrinkles. This is a gross slap in the face to Sarah Palin after Newsweek has done so many favorable covers of Barack Obama . . . .

Indeed, every woman has pores, wrinkles, and facial hair. What's your point? That having these things is bad, of course. "What if someone judges her poorly because she has wrinkles??? Hate her for her policies all you want, but don't look at her pores, for the love of God!!! Her face is all she has going for her in this election!!!" But I'm not surprised, since conservatives have always used beauty standards to lionize conservative women and belittle liberal women. Here are just a few examples.

As you can see, this picture features powerful liberal women who have actually accomplished something, and conservative women who are simply hideous on the inside.

In a pretend apology for calling NOW the National Organization of Ugly Women, Mark Levin calls the organization the "National Organization of Women Who Look Like Men; or National Organization of Mustachioed Women; or National Organization of Really Ugly Women." You'd think a guy with such high standards of beauty would have hair plugs and use Just For Men.

Glenn Beck equates conservative politics to beauty as well, and for some reason promises liberal women eternal Western standards of beauty in Heaven. Now that's literal interpretation of the Bible!

[I]f you're an ugly woman, you're probably a progressive as well. Oh, jeez. I'm sorry. Today's just not your day. But you know what? If you believed in God, you'd know that there's going to be another chance for you. You don't have to be ugly in heaven. You're going to be your perfect self, and there will be another perfect somebody waiting for you on the other side.

It's apparent that conservatives believe that enlightened, empowered, liberated progressive women care way more about their looks than they actually do. They think that if women like Hillary Clinton and Kim Gandy and Jessica Valenti and me are called physically unattractive enough, we'd simply crawl into our sock drawers and die. Not so much, wing-nuts.

And my favorite part of that FOX video has to be this:

This is a clear slap in the face. And why? Because of this title -- "She's One of the Folks (and That's the Problem)." Newsweek would not be in business if the folks wouldn't subscribe to this magazine. So to insult the folks of America and call that a problem. I think Newsweek just showed it's an elitist, liberal magazine.

Newsweek thinks I'm too much of a regular person to be Vice President?! *crawls into sock drawer and dies*

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